Shy guy/doesn't initiate intimacy - will he ask me out again?

I met this guy off POF and he asked me out for coffee for Saturday which went well but he was super nervous. Sunday I say I had a good time and ask about his week and he says he's free so we make plans to hang out today. As he drops me off at my car tonight, no hug and doesn't make plans with me for a third date. He says his last relationship - his ex would initiate a lot of the dates or intimacy. How do I let him know I want him to lead - if he is into me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm really shy myself, and I also think it's quite hard to lead sometimes. My problem mostly is I think too much. I'm also quite scared when it comes to intimacy, because I'm always afraid the girl does not want to get intimate yet, and then I wait too long.
    If you want him to initiate, let's say, a conversation, the best thing you can do is ask him about something he's really passionate about and show interest. It's easy to talk about things you really like to do.
    If you want him to initiate physical contact, a good way might be to take his hands and place his arms around your neck while smiling a little at him. This will get him the message it's okay to touch you in a romantic way. Also, if you want him to kiss him you can get close and ask him to kiss you with a very soft voice.
    In all these situations you're the one to initiate contact at first, but as you're inviting him to get more intimate you'll give him this message: "It's okay to be intimate. I like you." Always smile to show him you're comfortable being close to him.

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    • Thank you for all those suggestions! I think yes that physical barrier is hard to cross - well prob more for him but will try those suggestions :)

What Guys Said 1

  • What if you let him know to lead? maybe it doesn't matter. it seems he doesn't have leading abilities. people always judge me but i always say i don't believe gender equality for this reasons.

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