How do I know I personally am not the reason he can't commit right now?

he has tried to explain that the relationship he was in since he was 15 has left him feeling like he has lost a lot of his youth, and he doesn't want to get old and regret not doing anything, but he can't commit right now. I know he can see himself with me in the future, that he can fall in love with me, and then he gets really upset if he thinks I'll never talk to him again. When we're together we're always laughing, always messing around, and in public we are always holding each other. My only problem is how busy he is (works full time and in a band that tours at least a few times a year, but only for a few weeks at a time) If I don't want to have sex, we go out to eat or watch a movie, go on a walk, etc instead, there is no argument. He pays on dates, is very interested and polite to my family. When I'm sad, I can count on him, and he has gotten me out of bad situations before and held me while I cried. I have cut him off about two times, maybe three if I am remembering wrong, and he tries and tries to get a hold of me until I talk to him. I want to be with him if the reason he can't commit doesn't have to do with me, but if it does, I am NOT willing to be the back up girl. what do you guys think?

  • the reason is definitely not you
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  • the reason might be you
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  • the reason is you
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if the reason isn't me what should I do?
what would you guys say is the reason? I trust him when he tries to tell me but its just so hard to understand and I really love him

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What Girls Said 1

  • The reason is not you. He openly said. When a man says he does not want to commit, you are better to believe in. He does not want any serious relationship. He is with you and acts kind and gentle; because it is his nature. He is a gentleman.
    What should you do? Nothing. Just enjoy time together. If this hurts you ( knowing no future) then, break it off. You can not really change his mind or something. There is no such thing. Changing mind. He does it on his will or not.
    The reason he does not want. I believe in him actually. He just wants spending his time casually.

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    • I believe there could be a future I just know he's not ready right now, it's just hard to handle that and I don't know if I can

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    • If a person wants to reach you, he will no matter what. I know you are feeling so bad. Because it is so difficult to be away from him. But you know better. Living a relationship which you are always suspicious? Just wait. Wait your feelings calm down.

    • well I know, I wouldn't be surprised if he does try to reach me some other way, but part of me wants him to respect that i said not to because he didn't before

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