Should I tell my boyfriend this guy is also coming over?

A year ago, I slept with a colleague a few times (who had a pregnant gf at the time that I didn't know about!) and somehow it came up and I told my current (new) boyfriend about it.

Occasionally when I have gone out with my colleagues, my boyfriend has asked whether the guy I slept with was there because he obviously doesn't want me hanging out with him. I'm having a get-together at my place with some colleagues in a few days (one girl and two guys) and the guy I slept with is coming because he's good friends with others there too.

Should I tell my boyfriend? I realize it's morally "right" to do so, but maybe I just shouldn't mention it to avoid conflict... FYI - I have no interest in him and he now has a kid...

Updates:
By the way - the chance of my bf finding out is close to 0. He doesn't even know his name... so it's more of a moral thing..
I told him and he got really quiet and upset... and then called me back later and said he was ok with it. :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I refuse to be your moral compass. You're not asking a question of us you're shifting responsibility from yourself. This is worse than if you had just gone and done it; you are officially premeditating emotionally damaging behavior AND using us as an alibi.

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    • I take 100% responsibility for my own actions, I'm just curious as to what others would do in my situation...

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    • haha. case closed.

    • Damn I wish this guy wasn't anon. I'd follow.

What Guys Said 4

  • yes you should tell your bf.

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  • Hi,

    I can understand your predicament, but things will be much worse for you if your boyfriend was to find out that this guy was present and you lied to him. A relationship cannot last if either partner is not open and honest with the other partner.

    Furthermore I cannot understand why your boyfriend is bothered by this guy as you slept with him prior to entering a relationship with him, so it's an element of insecurity on his part.

    LastoftheFamous

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  • Yes, tell him.

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  • Yeah don't tell him and then have your boyfriend see him... hmmm wonder how that will turn out?

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you should tell him. That will be much better than him finding out some other way because then he'll likely be pissed that you didn't tell him. You should tell him that you would like to be respectful of him so you are letting him know that this guy is coming over BUT you obviously have no interest in him and nothing is going to happen. Your boyfriend can't really tell you who you "can" and "cannot" talk to or hang out with but I do believe he at least deserves to know that you will be around this guy.

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  • You should tell him, just explain to him that there is no feelings there and if your boyfriend gets upset just let him know that this person is a coworker and you guys are going to be seeing eachother (not sexually of course) haha.

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