Does he have a good reason to be mad at me?

Sorry this will be long but I really need advice please :)

I started talking to a guy a month ago and we became close really fast. He was telling me how lucky he was and how perfect I am etc and we would text a lot. We had sex the fourth date even though I wanted to wait (he initiated it but it felt right so I did it) and when I got home I mentioned how I've never had sex this early with someone and I wasn't sure how to handle it since we never had "the talk" about what we were. He got mad and ignored me for 2 days then came back

Fast forward to our fifth date he was calling me dude instead of babe and not being a gentleman like normal. So I politely said I don't like being called dude it makes me feel like a friend and I miss him holding doors for me etc. he got angry and I tried to have the talk again about if we were seeing other people or what we were. He got mad and said he couldn't commit due to being hurt by his ex and said just friends. I said if we are just friends then that makes me free to date other guys you know that right? He got so angry he has barely spoken to me in a week and he said he's done with me and can't trust me now.

This whole time I've went out of my way to show him I can be trusted. He compared me mentioning other guys to that would be like him beating me after me telling him I was In an abusive relationship. Which I think he's being dramatic. He's already on tinder trying to find someone else. He said I was nagging him and I'm untrustworthy. Am I at fault here and do you think he will realize he's making a mistake? I'm a quiet shy girl I don't start arguments yet he thinks I am. Thank you!

Updates:
Thank you everyone for your advice :) I really appreciate it. I blocked his number

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok so I made it through your story here and I am happy to share my opinion with you.

    I think you are will within reason here and nothing that you have said is out of line or is unfair at all. And the way he responded to you seems childish, immature, and manipulative.

    If he wants to be just "friends" and not commit then he has no right to expect commitment from you and for you not to be seeing other guys. This clearly invoked a negative emotional reaction from him in which he used anger and some words to try and manipulate you to accommodate his own selfish reasons.

    Saying that you seeing other men in a non committed relationship would be like him beating you after you had been in an abusive relationship is honestly, well, just plain retarded. It makes 0 sense. And actually it's a little disturbing.

    Don't sell yourself short and fall victim to this guy, seems to me like you deserve more than that. He is not making an effort to be fair to you at all and his arguments hold no weight.

    Anywhoo, thats my opinion hope you might find it useful.

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What Guys Said 4

  • He is an asshole
    he used you for sex and now that he has gotten it, he doesn't really care about you
    all you are too him is a girl who he wants to have sex again with

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    • Thanks :( I guess I should have waited longer or not done it at all

    • Hey, whats done is done.
      We all make mistakes but the ones who go on to be successful are the ones who learn from them and keep making new ones

  • Hi,

    This man sounds like he has some verbal and emotional abusive patterns in his behavior. His behavior is erratic and I'm alarmed at how quickly his behavior changed which signals to me that he wasn't being genuine from the beginning and used manipulative and deceptive behavior to get what he wanted (sex). It sounds as though he wanted casual sex with you.

    Perhaps he was expecting you to just keep things casual with you, so he was free to play the field with other women? It's not necessarily true but it is certainly plausible.

    I have a question for you:

    1. Is your self-esteem so battered and torn that after being treated badly by this guy that you are hoping he comes back after realizing he made a mistake?

    I think you are doing yourself a major disservice here as you clearly deserve a lot more respect than you're getting and I would encourage you to cut all lines of communication with this guy because he sounds like a massive jerk.

    LastoftheFamous.

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    • I don't have self esteem issues he treated me really well until after the fourth date. He made it seem like I messed up and I really wasn't sure if I did or not. He was saying "I would love to be your friend and have sex but can't give you my heart after what you did"

    • Hi,

      I didn't mean to sound insulting, I never meant to imply you had self-esteem problems.

      He seems like a player and players are very good at manipulating a girl's emotions and feelings while hiding their own feelings behind a poker face. He treated you well enough until you had sex and then after having sex he had achieved his objective and it was time to either keep you around as a casual sex partner or hit and run so to speak and when you mentioned being more, he flipped out, made you feel like the guilty party and is now out playing the field while you're wondering what has happened.

      LastoftheFamous.

  • the dude sounds kinda crazy. his personality is all over the map and he strikes me as at bare minimum verbally abusive to a degree. you are much better off just avoiding this guy like the plague than being anything to him. from what you are saying i can see nothing you did wrong. i'd just avoid him entirely in your shoes

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  • that supid ass wipe just used you as a plaything and now he is moving on to his next target, if i were there i would've crippled the guy.
    he doesn't have a good reason to be mad at you, he is overreacting and he just chose to appear gentleman like so he could get lucky.

    you need to find a proper man who will respect you, treat you right and stand by you no matter what.

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What Girls Said 2

  • He's a jerk, you deserve better

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  • He's a psychopath. And I'm not kidding.

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