I'm a virgin, my girlfriend isn't. I don't know how to get the thought of her having sex with past partners out of my head?

[Anonymous]

I've started to date this girl recently that I've known for a while. I'm really, really into her. She seemed like the perfect girl and I was sure I was in love with her. Although recently I've found out that she isn't a virgin. Personally, I've struggled against temptation in past relationships and in life to remain a virgin for my wife when I get married one day. I know I have no reason to feel this way but it hurts me to know that she isn't one too. She said that she had loved the guy at the time, but not anymore. I just can't get over it. Every time we have a romantic moment I think of her having sex with that guy. I know I can't judge her by her past but it's killing me inside. I don't know how to handle it.

[cth96190]

No offence intended, but you need to grow up.
Sex is normal. Freud identified sex as the second strongest motivator that we had. Only self preservation rated higher, although an argument could be made that the sole purpose of self preservation was to allow us to reproduce, which would make sex our ultimate motivation in all things.
People who do not have sexual release (by either intercourse of masturbation) become neurotic to the point, sometimes, of psychosis. This is especially so for females. Males who do not ejaculate daily have an increased risk of prostate cancer that is measured in the hundreds of per cent.
Your girlfriend is not a virgin. Congratulations! That means that she is normal. Your desire to be a virgin until marriage is an unnatural desire that is the result of the human construct known as religion.
Think on this. How sadistic and perverted would a god be to design beings who had hard wired into them the desire for sex, but then give those same beings a commandment that they could not fuck until after marriage? The three religions from the Middle East invented the concept of sin as a mechanism of social control. To exercise that control, they labelled as sin the strongest drive that people had. Thus, everybody "sinned" so everybody needed to beg forgiveness from the angry God in the sky and became controlled by the religion. Problem, reaction, solution.
Your "killing me inside" remark shows emotional immaturity and significant insecurity issues. People fuck. That is what they do, especially if they think that they are in love with someone. The urge to join loins is hard wired into our brains and is overwhelming.
You are the person who has a problem, not your girlfriend. If your current attitude continues, you will force her to leave you. Be assured of that.

[PorcelainCandy]

This guy says it all... just sayin. Love the Freudian aspect.

[Ihav2fart]

Hand this man an award!

[TheArson]

Sad to see a person so confused Freud... lol maybe one day this individual (cth96190) will mature enough to understand that not all “religions” are a construct of humans... and that not all religions say sex is a sin. You’ve left out very important details and, by default, have possibly confused another poor individual because of your own lack of knowledge or understanding.
I will say this! CONGRATS on saving yourself until marriage. The pain you feel and not being able to get past thinking about her being with other partners is normal. If you love her, find peace in the fact that she has been honest with you, forgive and forget. In time, the feelings will fade. Keeping yourself sexually pure for someone is a sign of emotional maturity... not the opposite and anyone that says otherwise is unwilling to take that difficult step because of their own disires or they have made past mistakes in this area. Sex before marriage brings about unmerited emotional attachment and feelings.

[TheArson]

Forgot my puncuation before “Freud”. The oerson I was referring to was the user who meantioned Freud... and although I believe Freud to be a highly intelligent and amazing individual... he was also wuite confused about many things. His denouncement of 1 thing in particular would be the cause of this. Oh well... let’a just keep thinking that we know what’s best and we’ve got it all figured out as humans. Certainly THAT must be the correct way.

[lovebae55]

Just be happy she won't be screaming down the place for pain yeah? Get over it, she is with you now, not him.

[Mgoods]

It's simply none of your business.