What can I do, she is my gf, but her little daughter likes me one moment, than loaths me the next?

its just really hard, her daughter doesn't want to share her mother with me, one moment her kid likes me, and another moment she doesn't like me, it changes by the hour. what can i do


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Looks like the biggest challenge in your relationship is the daughter, and you might have to spend more time on her than ur GF lol. Yes, your relationship with her daughter can make or break the relationship. Coz if things go bad, your GF might use it against you. Your may want to spend more time indulging the little devil. Its good for all of you. The child might be needing a lot of attention, since the real Dad is absent. Befriending that kid can also seal the deal for you. Just remember, kids will never be ungrateful for the good you do them. Be nice to her always, spend more time with her, participate in her activities, and you will will her over. This might take you away from ur GF, but then ignoring her daughter is never an option. You have to accept it as part of the deal.

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    • well im doing that, im investing a lot of time in the daughter, playing, drawing together, playing games , watching minecraft videos, buying small inexpensive gifts, or something sweet for her to take to school. and one moment the kid likes me and another moment she doesn't, i really want this to work, i also think she needs to stop inviting over other man, friends or not, the daughter doesn't understand it, and its confusing

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    • well she got that from her mom than, she is the same, one moment she is genlte , friendly and very touchy, the next moment she tells me that she isn't a teddybeer, than she just gives me small kisses, and when ever i pull on my jacket and am about to leave, she pulls me over and we make out big time, ... there is no logic, yesterday she sends me some lovely note at 06:11 in the morning, now she was shortly online, nothing. or yesterday, she aks me were im at, well i drove back to my hometown, 1 hour drive, she asks me why, than i tell her maybe ill still here, were we live, and she says, good, than she says she maybe goes to this club with her friends, as a reponse to me saying maybe i ll drive home. when ever i ask her , do you want me to come over, she most of the times says no, but most of the times changes her mind rather quickly. its just confusing and wearing me down

    • I think you could try "telling" her things than asking her. She's going to give contradictory answers anyway lol. Or you could start translating her words automatically to mean the opposite, so it saves both of you a lot of trouble. But the hesitation for refusing/accepting physical gestures are quite natural.. you should get used to it. For all other things, she can't keep changing her mind so often. You gotta be more firm and show her the way.

What Girls Said 4

  • If you stick around, she'll grow to like you, so long as you aren't a dick to her. Since her mother is a single mom, she's probably protective as well as guarded when it comes to men encroaching on she and her mother's territory. Just give her time and don't give up. Giving up will only make her hate you.

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    • im not giving up but it hurts me a lot, im a really nice guy, i play with her daughter, the problem is, she lets to many guys come over, that muss be confusing to her daughter. she is my gf, since 2 days but ever since she grew a bit more quiet. she tells me she wants me to come over, but i shouldn't. im a really nice person, why does this always happen to me. im not gonna give up but i m just growing tired of it. she should be more responsible,

    • If you can't handle her daughter, maybe you should get to steppin'.

  • As a parent myself maybe try to just spend time with just the child go take her to a movie or for ice cream.. See if that helps

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  • I was in the situation of the kid before. there's nothing much that can be done. The kid will have to accept it eventually.

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    • yeah as a parent you have to decide whats best, and im a great person. this kid just doesn't want to share her mom with anyone else. i know, this other man isn't your real father, but if he is a great person, he deserves a chance

    • i know. i was in her exact position. she most likely doesn't see you as a parent. from my expirience, i prefer it when the biological parent of mine and only the biological parent took on the parenting role. its intimidating when someone comes into your life, and takes attention or seems to be taking attention from the person whos always been there for you. it sucks, especially considering all the issues beforehand weren't even your fault. i was a bit older though and i dont think your gfs daughter understands whats going on much. i personally hated it when my dad would bring his gf to my hockey games and any of my events. i didn't want her and still dont want her to be with him. from the kids point, it feels like someone is forcing their way into their family and its pretty upsetting. just take small steps and minimize sorta 'forcing' or being part of her life to quickly.

  • Small children often have extreme emotions that change frequently, that's pretty normal. My little nephew can go from being the happiest little dude in the world over playing ninja turtles to meltdown mode over his pizza being sliced the wrong way. They grow out of it.

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    • i agree with you, but why doesn't she see that herself, she sticks to much value in the mood swings from her daughter, well she herself has massive mood swings. instead actually being together with me on this cold winter evening, no she goes with a good friend of her to a club while she is still recovering from a misscariage she had, after being pregnant from having sex with me. her daughter is much like her, one moment im the best person there is, and than i dont excist for 2 days, , or i ask her, want me to come over, she says no, 2 hours later, were are you, come over. i love this girl but i dont like her behavior at all, resembles borderline a lot

    • I can't offer as much advice for the mother's behavior.

What Guys Said 1

  • There's nothing to do. This goes with the territory. Just don't react to the daughter and focus on your girlfriend.

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    • well actually i feel really bad now, one moment the kid likes me, the other moment she doesn't, hmmmm always something or someone in the way :(

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    • @__jessicats I'm not saying "IGNORE" the daughter. I'm saying don't react to the daughter if she's acting out and claiming she doesn't like QA

    • i am, but the kid can get very hostile at moments and 20 minutes later playing games with me, laughing talking, i really love her mother, and i like this kid 2 . i asked my girl if she would be home tomorrow evening, and she asked me, why im asking, well because i want to see you, she says, maybe, i can come by but i dont have to. what does that mean :(

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