Guys buying girls drinks?

So I've started dating this guy and he bought me drinks when we were at the pub. I was like 'oh no you don't have to do that I'll pay' and he was like 'why not?' so I couldn't really protest so I just let him.
I've got quite mixed feeling on this kinda thing. On one hand its kinda nice cos I feel like I'm being looked after and like the guy is taking control a bit which I like. On the other it kinda feels like I owe him and I feel bad because it's not like guys have more money than girls so why should he have to.
What do you think?
Do you think he woulda got offended my be trying to pay for my own? I know it's quite a small thing but I find it an interesting issue given that its 2014

Updates:
Just to clarify I'm not complaining, it was a nice thing for him to do! But, you know, I felt bad that he should have to. And I'm just as capable as him at buying my own. I don't know haha I just thought it'd be interesting to hear different points of view

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Most Helpful Guy

  • In the early phases of dating someone new, it's a cultural tradition for the guy to cover the lady's fees. We generally pay because we invite you girls out and we want to be a good host for you. Generally I see it as a good sign when my date offers to pay for herself early on, because it shows she cares about my finances and isn't likely to be a freeloader girlfriend. On the other hand if she insists on paying her way despite my offers to cover her costs, I would assume she is trying to put me in the friend zone and doesn't want to be a dating couple. So if you continue to date this guy further and you do more things with him, you can start paying your cover, and maybe even treat him yourself.

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    • okay, yeah. Because I offered to pay for me own twice and his reaction was kinda like why on earth would you wanna do that? So I think maybe he was worried I was just gonna 'friendzone' him. When he takes me out to dinner, as he called it, do you think I should just accept it if he pays then? Because I want him to know I like him but I feel bad him treating me to a meal

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    • Thanks for the gold star!

    • no worries, thank you for your advice!

What Guys Said 8

  • It bothers me that I would pay for other peoples drinks but like you said it makes a good impression on you. So it sucks but what are we supposed to do differently?

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    • I'm not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing. I definitely would never expect a guy to buy me a drink. It wouldn't have made a bad impression if he hadn't

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    • I look forward to an age of drink purchasing equality. I really dislike feeling like I have to pay for stuff all the time, even if I can easily afford it.

    • well exactly that's why I feel conflicted about it because I think it should be equal. Then again, it was probably less than a fiver ayway and he was just showing its his intentions to go out with me. I'm more than happy to pay my way.

  • If you kept buying your own drinks and refused mine then I'd take it as you're not interested.

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    • Okay. I did let him buy me them both but next time do you think I should not even offer to buy my own?

    • Buy your own drink, but if he insist on buying you one don't reject it. If you're interested in him, maybe buy him a drink.

    • okay, yeah that's what happened, he insisted so I let him. okay thanks

  • When a man with a girl would drink something or eat something together. A man must pay for her if he has enough money. That's why the word ''gentleman'' fits with men rather than women ;)

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  • But if I pay for a woman's drink then how am I supposed to get drunk?

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    • We weren't getting drunk we were just having casual drinks in a pub

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    • I know what a pub is. I just can't wrap my head around the concept of spending money on alcohol without intention of passing out.

    • oh okay, fair enough, both is fine

  • i bet the wierdo went to hold the door for you too lol

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    • yeahh he did aha. I'm not saying it's bad but I just never know how to react

    • just buy him a JD on your way back from the loo sometime

    • haha yeah

  • Its just a social stigma we have been forced to believe in for centuries. also don't forget the underlying factor that if we get you enough drinks, your inhibitions get low. which means a higher chance of getting in your pants.

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    • Yeah, he did only get me two though I wasn't even tipsy really but that's true

    • well you came off as a girl that knew her limits so you wanted to get your own drinks. If you came off as some girl that doesn't say no because its free, well, you know what happens.

    • Yeah, totally

  • Sorry ladies, not buying you shit in a bar.

    I may buy you dinner on a date night or a pearl necklace when I want to decorate you as my lover, but if you are trying get wasted then that comes out of your own budget.

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    • Not saying guys should have to I wouldn't expect it at all! We weren't getting wasted anyway we were literally in a pub.
      Also eww pearl necklace aha

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    • Nott that awkward I would like to think!

  • In 2014: Gifts no longer allowed.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You feel guilty in guessing next round just buy it take turns. Although he will probably insist you don't just go to the bar come back with two drinks :)

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