Is playing hard to get immature?

I was thinking about some advice I received from my female friends that you can initiate or flirt with a guy at first, but then it is up to them to continue contacting the girl. Honestly, playing hard to get, in my experience, can scare off guys if it is overdone, especially if the girl is cute. How can a girl communicate interest without seeming uninterested? Is there a way to not scare guys off? Guys I talk to can never tell what my level of interest is, they always get mixed signals from me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • immature, my ass. its smart. don't nobody respect some easy to get girl that every guy has already had. don't be thirsty and you will see when a man is really into you. do you want a guy who is lukewarm about you or do you want a guy who is enthusiastic about you? "playing hard to get" as they put it, will allow men to reveal their thoughts about you based on their actions.

    I think phtg has a bad rap because of the PLAYING word in it. its seen as playing games and being mean to a man for some reason? I don't know but you never wanna be chasing after a guy like ms piggy does Kermit in the muppets. didn't gonzo really like her but she chose to chase Kermit? Kermit didn't like piggy like that but if she quit running after him so much she would see that.

    if a guy gets "scared off" he ain't feeling you. a lot of guys on this site will pretend as if men are ignoramouses and retards and have no idea when a woman is interested in them. I call bs. guys in the real world can tell when you really like a guy bc you just can't hide it. and when he really likes you he will make an effort to be around you. but if you throw yourself at a man and don't let him lead, then yeah he might use you for the time being bc its better to have mediocre pussy then none at all, but you won't get to see his true level of interest in the beginning

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    • Interesting things to consider. What are some ways to play hard to get with a guy? Texting like every 2 weeks if at all? Inviting him to a friend's hangout where he has to travel to get there?

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    • well you don't want to go too extreme where he has no connection with you. if you don't give the guy any contact with you, he will usually think *out of sight out of mind* and lose interest because your memory fades away. so if you don't give him something to interest he will grow bored of you. it sounds as if you may lack a connection with the guy if you keep doing what your doing. you want to feed a guy a little bit of you but also keep him on a diet. don't let him get stuffed and fat of you but give him a little taste to remember. also its better to talk on the phone and let him hear your voice than it is to text. a quick phone call can make you more connected

    • Yeah, it is a hard thing for me to balance because I usually go to the side of acting like I'm completely uninterested when I am. I invited him to hang with me and my friends, the other day though. We live in different countries, phone calls are expensive, and I don't know if he wants to Skype.

What Guys Said 11

  • Playing hard to get is childish, is stupid, and hate it. Do on to there's as you want done to yourself. Some guys love slow seduction but me just you stated if not done right or you do it for too long it gets boring to me. I'd say reward the guy after every flirt session. When you speak to a guy be open and don't put all your cards on the table, show gestures thatll lead him on. causally touch anywhere but the mans junk. and lastly make sure you pull away at the right time. When gives you hugs hit him playfully, when you by pass him try tickling him. Play around then suddenly make your unavailable such as talk on the phone, or what ever you might want to do to keep yourself busy. Den pending on the guy these stupid games only should last for about a month, after that your just wasting time and if he moved on it's your fault. Just saying if you were to play hard ta get.

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  • In a sense, yes. It's wasting my time. Girls (like guys) are just afraid to be rejected so they try to make the guy ask them out, then play hard to get to feel wanted. That's why most guys are very cautious and will note your signal but not act on it, in case the girl is just playing games.
    I think you should act normal, skip the hints & signal charade. Just be straight up, mean what you say and don't play games. You probably overthink it, and provide mixed signals.

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    • The one time I was straight up with a guy, in the end he just wanted to be friends. Acting normal, for me, makes them not be interested in me at all, it seems.

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    • Yeah, I would like to meet a guy that likes me for me, it's just hard. Like I feel I'll be rejected if a guy knows me for who I am. It's just weird that guy would have dated me in the first place and spent all that time if he wanted to be friends in the end. I don't even talk to him now.

    • so maybe he was interested at first, but after getting to know you better he realized you're no match after all? It happens, that's why you date.

  • No women is worth chasing after. In todays world you will find it difficult to think that you would find a guy that would chase after you. If my girl was like this when we first met i would be like sorry, i am too important then to waste my time chasing you, when i don't even know weather or not your worth it.

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  • Yes, it's stupid. You can play your little games, and the guys will go and find someone who isn't toying with them.

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  • I say it comes from both sides. if the girl suddenly stops the initial interest then I guess she lost it and move on. if I don't show interest in more than a talk then it will only lead to friendship or less.

    the real problem is that I've heard guys who got into the friendzone cause they started as friends and didn't build up attraction at first place, so the girl later rejected all dates n shit. I hope I don't get that.

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  • Yes that shit is little kids game. Ain't nobody have time for dat

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  • It sure is.. Its mind games

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  • The amount lols on this post... Almost every guy here says no. But the two women who say yes... Those are the opinions you value most when it comes to mens opinions haha. ridiculous. No men dont like it. It may seem fun at first but it gets old really fast. No not all men like what they "cant have" and no not all men will "use you" if they find out really soon that you like them. Not all men are dogs. We dont like to be "walked" and we dont like to be "fed treats"

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  • We dont like being toyed with. Guys want a girl who is straight forward and direct. We dont want a "she likes me today, but she didn't yesterday" kinda deal. Playing hard to get is really immature and childish

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  • Yes, it is

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  • Yes it is. Anytime you actually want someone and you fuck with their head and hold back just to prove some point, you're basically just a selfish little fuck that is probably messing up a potential good relationship.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I dint think it matters how the guy feels about it. What've mean is if you're uncomfortable playing games then you shouldn't even if you think they want you to.

    What's so bad about you that you can't get a guy unless you Pretend not to like him AND why would you want such a guy.

    Also if you dont naturally okay games then it's false advertising and you'll attract men who don't actually like the real you and men you don't really get on with.

    Some people like games it's fun for then so they should feel free and they'll attract similar types. But dont sell yourself short just bc some people think women don't have a right to be direct.

    Be yourself do what feels right. It's ok to mess up you'll learn if it's an honest mistake.

    Games and anything contrived or not following your own conscience is a slippery slope. Very hard to learn from mistakes when they are other peoples idea. Much harder to be at peace with mistakes from ideas that do not genuinely come from you as well. Something to think of :)

    Ultimately I think it comes down to self respect. in my opinion people who rely in gnats or rely in other people playing games didn't gave much to go around -respect that is.

    So they hide in a pretend works where there's no real risk bc it's all bullshit.

    Your call I vote for just be yourself... At times it lacks qualities of immediate gratification but it Pays off heavily in the long run.:-)

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  • sometimes they might just get bored of this and find someone else. playing hard to get doesn't work in my opinion.

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  • actually its a proven way that works!
    men like to chase even though they will say otherwise (just like they say they dont like make up then chase after the fakest girl they can find)

    make him WORK

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    • So by making him work, is that like not answering a text for 3 days, then replying?

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    • True, I know when I wasn't interested in a guy at all, he would keep talking to me, or trying to get me to go out with him.

    • there you go ;)

      and pretty brown puts it well too lol

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