we have an amazing time together, I have never felt this way about anyone else. He always looks at me, at my face, and smiles. compliments me on everything by saying things like "you really are so beautiful" to "you have to remember how smart you are." he asked my friends a lot about me. he's in a band and whatever so I feel like he feels like he needs to put up a front, a like "I can get whoever I want" front, even though i've met all of his close friends. we stopped seeing each other for a while, but he really wanted to see me again so I said ok and it was great, up until I wanted to know where I stand. it was only a month in, but I was worried because I don't really see him as often as I'd like to. He told me because he had only recently gotten out of the relationship with his high school sweetheart basically that he can't do anything serious, he feels like he needs to live out his youth, but he still obviously really wants to see me and told me he it's not that he can't see us in the future or not love me, but he feels his relationship controlled his life for so long and his friends told me it "fucked him up." I don't really know what to do because he is so great to me and we have such a good time despite these things, but I feel myself getting worried/desperate when I don't here from him after a few days and I hate that. I haven't asked him to call more so maybe I should, but I don't want to act needy and push him away. he is always holding on to me in some way wherever we are, and only have sex in a very kind of slow passionate way lately... and he asks to make sure I feel like doing it which I find really polite. we are obviously very attracted to each other. Obviously I don't know what to do, any advice?
- it sounds like he wants you enough to make sacrifices for you, at least in the near futureVote A
- it doesn't sound like he will change for you, you should end itVote B
Most Helpful Girl
He sounds like a sweet guy, but with commitment issues now because he feels like commitment ruled his life. So now he is "free" so to speak... I think you just should tell him how you feel. Tell him you'd feel happier and less worried if he would call more and ask him when he thinks he will be ready to engage in something serious. It is very likely you are going to fall in love with him if you're hanging out with and talking to him all the time. If you fall in love with him, and he is not on the same page, it will hurt and be very heart wrenching. I think you deserve someone who is on the same page as you. But it is obvious you don't NOT want him and he clearly is tied emotionally to you as well. It's like tug-of-war. You both are pulling the rope. His side, he is pulling you to him, though he isn't ready to commit to you. He feels deeply for you, feels he should let go because he's afraid of falling onto your side of the line, but cannot. Therefore he keeps pulling the rope. You, you want him to commit to you. You feel deeply for him as well. You know you need to be happy, but cannot let go of him. Therefore, you keep pulling the rope. And eventually one of you will give. He will either fall over onto your side of the line and commit to you, or you will fall over onto his side of the line and even though you know you deserve better, you will settle for less and settle for him because you know that you just cannot live without him. You'd rather have him that way than not at all. One of you will fall onto the other person's side of the line eventually if you keep playing this game. If you do not want to risk falling on his side of the line, then you should let go of the rope completely. This means cutting contact for a while, if not permanently to get yourself together and move on with your life.0
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