Im so lonely it hurts?

Its happened this year. ALL of my social circle has paired up/married/ engaged and im still horribly single. I can't even get dates let alone meet new girls. Im 27, fit, healthy, financially stable, own a house, play 2 sports, travel internationally every year, renovated my house this year, dress well.. Everyone tells me someone will come along. No one has in 4 years. Its eating me up inside. I go to bed every night and can feel a galaxy sized void next to me.
I've tried completely giving up looking, I've tried a lot and a little, sometimes it looks good then things go completely cold again and my heart aches again. I go out, I try dating sites.. It is my belief im falling into the 'nice guy' category or more bluntly the 'weak man'. FYI 58kg & 171cm might have something to do with it, but dramatically increasing my diet and gym has barely helped at all.
Someone give me some hope so I don't give up? I just want a cuddle... :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Just from reading this it is easy to see the desperation and low self esteem in you. If it's that easy to see in your writing. When you meet women in person, they will sense it from across the room. And as soon as they do, you have no chance.

    You'll need to fix these self esteem issues. Get some exercises from a Google search. Talk to a therapist.
    Get a book. Whatever works for you.

    It won't be an easy fix. It will take time. But you're young, it's better to do it now, than later.

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    • This. All the google searches give you are so so softly approaches to my situation. I think I just need a good punch to the ego. Wake the eff up. Your reply hurt me the most, but spoke the most volume. I knew deep down its what I have to do, but I needed someone else to tell me!

    • Sorry if I hurt you. :-( I tend to be to the point in my replies. But I will say you got the meaning of what I was saying. "Wake the eff up". I will admit I was trying to give you a figurative slap in the head... to wake you up. So that you may start seeing things from a different perspective.

      My therapist suggested this book to me years ago. It helped a lot. you might want to consider it.

      www.amazon.com/.../191-0711096-4864916

What Girls Said 1

  • get some of your friends to introduce you a girl

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What Guys Said 6

  • I feel for you man! I'm in an almost similar situation as you.

    Just turned 28 over week ago, and have been single for over 4 years now. Didn't even attempt dating during this time, because I was focusing on different things. I have a decent job and a car as well. And now, I'm too 'rusty' with women, and hardly, if ever, talk to them (apart from female colleagues or platonic female friends). The only difference is, I have just 'accepted' a life of loneliness, because I have realized that women's expectations from a potential partner so so high in the current era that its not possible for most men to satisfy these requirements. To add to my woes, I have a pretty huge ego as well, and I don't want give women the satisfaction of rejecting me. That's the reason i don't approach them at all. I've made plans about making my life exciting and fun, in spite of me almost certain to remain single forever (and I'm not referring to hookers or friends with benefits here).

    And you're absolutely right with the 'nice guy' aspect. You know, 'nice guys finish last' is a myth. The fact is, nice guys never finish. They get knocked out of the race mid-way by the jerks and assholes. Of course, not all women prefer assholes, but most do.

    If you're 27, then you really don't have to 'give up hope' right now. Also, don't consider becoming an asshole just to attract women, because the women you get to date this way likely won't stick with you for too long. Try different avenues such as dating sites, or ask your acquaintances to set up some blind dates for you. Your situation is not really as bad as you think. Cheer up, and go snare a woman! Good luck! :)

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  • How often do you approach women?

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  • Try joining a group of singles that does outdoor stuff like rafting etc. it is a large mix of people, all single and looking but it is also casual and no expecatations. They go out every month and it seems to me to be a good way of meeting someone.

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  • I know how you feel man but chin up.. You have everything going for you, finsncially stable, looks, you're young.. I wish i could trade places with you.. Your friends aren't real friends if they dont introduce you to girls.. Best of luck to you bro

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  • Don't worry bro, some day the perfect lady will come to you! And don't worry, I'm 59 kg and 5'3 and I don't see myself complaining in getting relationships, so man up! FYI I'm 16 :P

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  • This is real life. You generate your own hope.

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