How to not be scared of falling for someone?

Me and this guy have both confessed that we like each other. We've been hanging out for a while and I think he's absolutely perfect. He treats me like a queen and we are constantly laughing. But every time I think of a future with him or my feelings for him I get this feeling of panic and anxiety. I'm so scared of falling for him and getting hurt again. I don't want my past relationships to mess up this one because he is honestly one of the nicest men I've ever met. How can I keep myself from having a total freak out or for self sabotaging this because I'm scared?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Imagine, if you had an unfortunate road accident while driving your car, is it reasonable to panic every-time you think about driving? No one can be too sure about such things, all you can do is have faith in your relationship and take a dive!

    by the way you MAY hire a personal spy to dig up his TRUE past and check his behavior behind your back. He can even provide you audio/video recordings of your friend/crush. Although it's immoral to do so, but it will definitely help you in making conclusions, whether he has the potential of hurting you or not.

    • Well we have a lot of mutual friends so I've asked around a little bit about him and everyone says the same thing: he's a nice guy. He is a one woman kind of guy. He isn't the type to play with someone's feelings.

      It's sad that nice guys are scarier than the jerks... are t least the jerks I know what to expect.


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What Guys Said 2

  • don't expect anything from him or anything out of him.

  • don't invest so much. keep it cool. i know this doesn't sound helpful but u need to trust again, you can't do that with self doubt. see the person for who he is but don't go out all loving. distance yourself a bit from it.


What Girls Said 2

  • If you truly get along well and it makes you scared of falling for him, sounds like it's already too late. It's just a mind-set, perrectly natural to be a bit scared but you'll never get to fully enjoy it unless you let yourself continue felling. I once saw a quote that I think perfectly sums it up:

    “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
    -C. S. Lewis

    • That quote is amazing. I need to keep reminding myself that great risks can also bring great joy. Thank you for sharing that!!

    • no worries. :)
      Good luck with that guy of yours and think of it like this: you don't let yourself continue to fall for him, you'll definitely be alone. If you do let yourself further enjoy his company, you'll have a pretty good chance of falling in love. So even statistically speaking, may the odds be ever in your favour. :P

  • Being scared is completely normal and expected but you just gotta do it.

    • Any tips on how to get over the fear?