I think my boyfriend and I aren't very compatible?

He's more of a stay in kinda guy, and I like to go out and see people. He's all mellow and I'm more energetic. Whenever we go out it's like I'm supporting both of us with my excitement. It's like I have to be twice as energetic to get him off his ass. He's always philosophising and coming up with stupid, uneducated theories and acts all wise. He's two years older than me but he never went to college or university. Being with him makes me happy but wears me out. And he's really fucking childish, especially when he's been smoking weed which he does like a few times a week. Even though I'm younger I feel like I can't look after him and my brother.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well. Shitty situation but... he's not going to change. You both should move on to people more compatible.

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What Guys Said 8

  • The incompatibility you start out with can be a struggle but maybe worked around. If he benefitted from your energy and you benefited from him being relaxed and calm and helping you destress it might e worth it. But it sounds like he actually makes you more stressed.

    Stupid and philosophical can be a tiring combination. I can usually spin some element out of their garbage heap of thought that's interesting and worth considering but it's exhausting since I'm doing most or their thinking for them then doing my own as well.

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  • If you're feeling like that its prob best to end it as it'll only progress with time. One thing that you can't do is change someone no matter how hard you try or how well intentioned you may be.

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  • Extroverts and introverts can get along fine as long as you guys like the energy types you are receiving. Some extroverts do better around those who are similar. Others actually like the laid back and calming nature of an introvert because it settles them down a bit.

    I'm an introvert who likes to be around a balanced extrovert. One who always demands we have somewhere to go or someone to hang out with gets old fast. But one who knows how to enjoy both worlds is my favorite match.

    I can work if that is what you guys want. If he never likes enjoys your extroverted side and you never enjoy his introverted site then you guys won't get along.

    P. S. What does going to college or university have any thing to do with how well two people connect?

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  • Does he have a job? Its up to you if you want to stay with him or not if you really do like him I mean its really up to you the only time I would ever try and convince someone to leave someone else is if they were a serious criminal or are a total bum with no future.

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  • My wife isn't as outgoing as I am, either. It is challenging

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  • Maybe he's introverted and you are extroverted?

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    • Well yeah definitely but do you think it can't work because of that?

    • He's really good with people though

    • Well depends on you two, not on what people think. Are you willing to spend less time outdoor? is he willing to spend more time outdoor? Like, find a right-middle for both of you.
      Love means sacrifice. Are you two willing to get out of your comfort zone to make it right, and later see this unease zone become comfortable?
      Also remember that you can't "fix" introversion. Being outdoor too much for him makes his tired sooner than an extrovert.
      And the philosophy part: Introverts are more often thinkers than talkers.
      I just hope all of his thinking is not being used to find excuses to stay in his comfort zone, without thinking of making you happy. Same applies to you towards him.

      And i think the weed doesn't help.

  • well if you think that way, maybe you 2 should move on?

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  • If you feel that way maybe it's for the best to move on

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