Nervous when he brings it up... he wants it, my parents don't?

My boyfriend and I officially have been together for a little less than nine months. Within the last month, my boyfriend keeps bringing up that he'd like me to sleep over. Although I am a legal adult, I still live with my parents & they do not want me to sleep over at boys' houses.

I have not officially brought up to my parents that he wants me to sleep over because they have hinted multiple times that this is not permitted while living in their house. I have told my boyfriend this and he says he understands, he just wishes it could happen.

I do not want to start a fight with my parents over something that my boyfriend wants more than I do. However, I am slightly afraid that my boyfriend will get tired of me not being able to sleep over and will leave me for an older girl that can. (My boyfriend and I are four years apart and he was once in a four year relationship, where he lived with his girlfriend.)

What should I do? Should I worry or is it all in my head?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well this is a tough situation. I am assuming you have already been intimate with him, and this is not relating to that he really wants that to happen for the first time, and just that he maybe wants to be able to do it at his place and stay over and have all the benefits of that, and maybe move the relationship to a more serious level. If you are still living with your parents but are an adult you want to be able to have your independence, but you are sort of at their mercy when it comes to house rules, since you live there. You can bring it up and ask your parents, but if they say no, I would tell your boyfriend that sorry you cannot do it at this time. If he really is into you he won't leave you just because you can't stay over once and awhile, he knew what he was getting into with a girl 4 years younger

    • you also don't want to force the issue if it just something that he wants you to do, and just to please him. That is a step in the relationship that you both need to be ready for, and if it is going to cause problems at home that is not something you want. Feel free to message me about this it is something that probably needs more then generic answering

    • We have done everything, but sex... He says that he just wants to cuddle me and see what I'm like when I wake up, when I go to sleep etc. This is awesome advice! :) I can message you or feel free to message me. I really appreciate it!


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What Guys Said 4

  • I have real strict parents. As such, it was their house and their rules. They had their reasons which I am now appreciating. At one point when I was a teen (and knew way more than they did) I moved out to "show them".
    I found out the real world was no joke and you had to actually have something to offer this world if they were going to pay you anything. Or you had to work your ass off to make a buck. Since I couldn't dazzle the world with my brains back then, I busted my back just to pay rent.
    Needless to say, I made amends with my parents, moved back in, and respected their rules. I ended up getting a college education (not bad for a HS dropout) and now I'm a respected member of society.
    My parents had rules for a reason. If you want stay over night with your BF, I'd move out of your parents house first.

  • most importantly what do you want? do you want to do it? are you ready for it? what do your parents think about the guy? for how long have you been dating him?

    • Show All
    • anytime good luck

    • Thank you! :)

  • If he really loves you hell never tire of waiting.

  • If he is so desperate to want u for sleep-over obviusly he wants to get into ur pants. I mean like ' Nedfrom the Ned' said if he really loves you he would understand the situation and agree with ur parents.

    Please be safe... Don't rush... Many girls make this mistake... At least I have seen from my experience.



What Girls Said 1

  • if he leaves you for you not being able to sleep over, he was a waste of time in the first place. if the only reason you want to sleep over is because you're afraid he will leave you, then you need to just tell him you aren't ready to take that step in your relationship yet. if he doesn't respect that, he's not respecting you.

    if you do want to sleepover, though, i do understand your frustration. my parents would be the same way, and it's not like you want to lie to them or fight with them either. if you haven't tried to talk about it with them, i suggest just trying to bring it up calmly and tell them why you want to sleep over. don't argue or yell or anything because they will be even less receptive of that. i hope this helps a little.