Whats the right thing to do here? Please help me!! Very worried!!!

About 2 months ago met guy #1 in a bar, stressed out grad student like myself. Hit it off, like never before and went on two amazing dates! After date 2, he told me he had ties to an ex in his home town, he made a promise to her he'd try to make that work. He said he was sorry because he felt a connection with me, but it was hard for him to let that go. He told me he wanted to be friends. I thanked him for his honesty, told him i'd be friends, but if we ever had the chance to pursue the connection we both felt i'd like to try. There was some, but not a ton of chatting between us.

A month ago a met guy #2 and have been seeing him. Great guy, nice, good to me, lots of dates. He doesn't know what is happening with his career and may be moving in coming months. I told him I wanted to be ofical, but he said he needed more time, but stressed he liked me, and we had an awesome month and he didn't want anything to change. I like guy #2, honestly, but I wish he would committ, I know he's not seeing anyone else because every night he's not with me he's talking to me on the phone. He told me he doesn't do that. I was really surprised he didn't want to be a couple given how its been going, but I guess its only been a month.

Today guy #1 started texting me and invited me over to watch football, we will be alone. My question is what to do I do? I WILL NOT sleep with him, but if he tries to kiss me do I tell him I am seeing someone. OR because guy #2 isn't my boyfriend, am I overthinking this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I am seeing someone that isn't ready to be officially a couple. That means each person can see other people. It's that simple. However, *can* you really see someone else without it bothering you? Some can, I cannot if I like both of them - feels like a betrayal that I wouldn't want to be on the other side of. If you are not a couple that means you can see other people. If you want to be a couple with guy #2 and he does not, why not just be honest with him about what you want and move on if does not want it?

    • Its because he doesn't know what's happening with his career, which is legit. But still, he does want me, I just don't know if he wants me enough given the circumstances...

    • Thanks for commenting

    • I can appreciate what you are saying about his career. However, we all have things that come up and if the relationship is important you, you do what you feel is right. I have been in that position before and a choose her over career craziness. If you want to wait and seek, just make that as a contious decison that you are waiting for him. If you want to casually date, make that decision - then see guy #1 and #2. If you are into waiting without some idea if and when things will move forward let guy #2 know and go do something with guy #1. It's best to be upfront about these things.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think you owe #2 fidelity, but maybe mention to him "since we aren't exclusive, would you be ok if I go out with other guys?"


What Girls Said 2

  • well guy #2 didn't want to committ so your freeeeeee , but think about what you do, you might not want to go too far.

  • neither are your boyfriend, go for it. but first ask guy 1 if its over with his ex because if not and he makes a move it makes him a cheat.

    • Thanks! I do plan to do that! For sure lol there is no way I'd ever be THAT girl. Anyways thanks for the comment