Why do people hate gay men so much but don't care if women are lesbians?

It's so fucking hurtful. I am scared of going in public and letting it be known that I am gay. None of my friends (except two very close friends, one a man and the other a girl) know that I am gay. It is so awkward whenever they talk about women being sexy and hot. I cannot say anything because then I would be lying to everyone and myself by agreeing (please, ladies, do not be offended).

Why must people slight us homosexual men so?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sorry but i find it funny as hell when people say things like 'letting it be known im gay' like what the hell are you looking out of that? To be treated differently? The announcement of who you like to fuck in bed is not important or a social status.

    I cannot say anything because then I would be lying to everyone and myself by agreeing

    No one if forcing you to agree and if you do your not lying to anyone. It's not blasphemy to agree on the appearance of someone. there's a difference of finding attractive and liking their face.

    You seem to be laying down phantom problems for yourself that media must be portraying to you in some way. Why do gay people have to announce they are gay? Straight people dont and there is a possibility that people are talking about you behind your back that you might be gay. Us homosexual men? Your already segregating yourself. It's not a big deal. People dont go to bed thinking about homosexuals sir because that's not realy an important topic we tend to bombard ourselves with. Just live your life sir and stop with this self pity ish.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Ok, you want the scientific answer?

    It boils down to sexual fluidity. Women are MUCH more fluid than men, and studies have shown that women, be they gay, straight, or bisexual, are aroused by all P*rnography , be it gay, straight, or lesbian. Men, on the other hand, if they're straight they react to straight or lesbian p*rn , and gay are aroused by only gay. Not trying to exclude bisexual men, they just weren't touched on by the studies.

    There is a big fear component, too. There's great studies about homophobic men often secretly repressing gay sexual urges. I'll try to find an article and link.

    Be true to yourself. Be kind to yourself. It. Gets. Better. It really does.

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    • Show All
    • I knew there was a reason I was hit on in the pharmacy. That damned white jacket did it, huh?

    • I was like, "Dude. I know what drugs you take. I'll pass on a date. I have your ointment ready, though."

  • Because it's mainly men. They think it's attactivr to see two girls kiss. They don't care about the love aspect. It's hot, and sexy, and turns them on. Comming from a girl who is bi. So my advice is ignore them. They don't matter. It's mainly Americans in just about every country gay marige is legal. And gays are my favorite people, my best friend for God knows how long is gay and I love him to death, and trust me you'll feel better when you come out.

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  • Straight guys are intimidated by gay guys- they will never admit it, but they are! Girls feel the same way about lesbians, partially because men think that all lesbians are blonde and have fake boobs because that's what they watch online. Everyone is intimated when their own sex is attracted to the same sex. It has nothing to do with gay men and gay women. Men are just more likely to fight about it and make an issue and be homophobic because generally they are more aggressive and thats how they deal with their issues. If you want to kiss a guy in public then you have every single right to do so- it is your life, so fucking live it

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  • You should let your closest friends and family know, so you at least feel comfortable around them.

    I had a really good friend of mine, a guy of course, come out last year as gay. He started with his closest friends and then with his family. At first, I couldn't believe it because he was always the one pulling girls and being the biggest player around (he's hot according to many). So being used to this player image, he was afraid people around him would see him as a liar, someone who betrayed people by compensating what he knew was really real. The best part is that no one really cared, everybody embraced the news with shock but also with love - he could finally be who he was meant to be.

    So please, make yourself happy first before bothering with other people and their close-minded thoughts. I'm sure you probably have a great support system without even thinking about it.

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  • I think men just are afraid of getting hit on, it's not "masculine or whatever, which is ridiculous. I know how you feel. Women always think I'm going to try to "turn" them or something. I think it's just the same gendered people that hate us. Or are afraid of..

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  • not all people hate gay people

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  • I'm really sorry you're going through that. Sounds like you're living in a very homophobic area. Where I'm from, there are plenty of openly gay people, and people who hate them are not viewed kindly.

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  • It is the "macho" male mentality. Some feel threatened by gay men, and to assert their "macho" personality they feel the need to bash/ridicule gay men. I have no problem with gay men as long as they are honest, and not lying ass-holes that use women as a cover.

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  • Because people are idiotic assholes!

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What Guys Said 8

  • The average male has no reason to hate on gay people. The whole lesbian thing is "ok" because heterosexual guys like women so seeing two of them go at it is double the fun in their eyes. As for girls making out in bars and all that, they do it for attention, or they're truly lesbian/bi.

    Having experimented with guys I can tell you that if I were to mention it in public, I don't know what the reaction would be. I definitely am not into guys myself especially after the stuff I tried.

    what I do notice though is some guys have this silly notion that homosexual guys are into like... Every guy and they completely forget that they have standards as well. Many girls won't even date a bisexual guy because they have these silly thoughts that he will be fooling around with male friends and stuff.

    Overall I don't see homosexuals hunting guys like like many people act like they do. The only time I have dealt with insanely aggressive homosexuals was online through Craigslist. There are a ridiculous amount of them scrolling through heterosexual ads trying to persuade guys into things.

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  • I have to assume, for guys at least, that they like picturing two girls having sex, but do not want to picture two guys having sex.

    As to why something as trivial as that led to two people beating Mathew Shepard and leaving him to die, I can't say.

    The world is a pretty fucked up place.

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  • Aside from the Westborough Baptist Church, does anyone really and truly "hate gay men"?
    I was molested when I was three, pack raped when I was 10 and drugged and raped when I was 16, but I do not "hate gay men".
    Leftards try to put me in a stereotypical box that they have created for ultra-conservative libertarians such as myself, but in that sphere of politics I have yet to meet anyone who "hates gay men".
    Could you be a tad over sensitive about this issue?

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    • I just want to tell you I'm sorry for what you've been through. Studies have shown that rape is usually about power, not attraction. Big ups to you for not letting your past cripple you.

      By the way, I'm super progressive and not a leftard. ;)

  • Lesbians are pretty "meh", honestly. I think I actually respect gay men more because they usually workout while lesbians get fat.

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  • Yeah, I feel sorry for gay men simply because society is so fucking intolerable of "different" lifestyles.

    It's disgusting but unfortunately the reality sometimes.

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  • It's the homophobia, the idea of dicks in butts scares them.

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  • Yeah why DO people hate gays but not lesbians? I hate it when people calls us f** , but sadly I can't do anything, because I'm a fucking chicken when it comes to social or physical contact...

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  • Lesbian sex is so fuckin' hot. Like... it's just right... and I jerk off to it everyday.

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