I waited too long, now what do I do?

So, there is this girl that I really like and have been getting to know her for a couple of months. I wanted to ask her out just after I met her, but having made the mistake of getting too close too fast with other girls I decided to take some time, not wanting to mess things up with this girl. We talked and got to know each other, and things were going well, or so I thought.

Anyway I called her the other day and asked her out, thinking that the timing was right. She told me that she was really flattered that I had asked her, but that she had just started seeing someone else, and didn't want to complicate things. She also said that she didn't know where it was going to go with the other guy, and she sounded a bit disappointed that she couldn't go out with me.

So I have been driving myself insane, racking my brain trying to figure out what I could have done differently. The only thing I can think is that I waited too long and there is nothing I can do about that. Now that you have the background, here are my questions:
What do I do now? Obviously I want to respect what she has with this other guy, but at the same time I still care deeply about her. If I vanish from her life completely, then that's it- she's gone forever. If I stay in touch then I could risk getting friend-zoned. Combine that with the fact that I got a sense that she wished she could've gone out with me, and I have no idea what the best course of action is.
Thank you for reading this long question and taking the time to answer.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It might not be just that you waited too long but she must have lost hope in you asking her out, so that could mean she didn't feel you flirting or showing interest. In the future its ok to not rush things emotionally but the enitial showing interest might need to be more forthcoming. Sadly all you can do at this point is stay in touch but if she asks you for friendzone type things its ok to say no. Unless she asks you for food id avoid it and you can stay in touch by asking her out for food as well, but chummy things like just a film or shopping will land you in the friendzone over time. Hopefully she might change her mind before things are too serious now that she knows you are interested

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    • Yeah I'm thinking of calling her once a week just to talk and stay in touch. Think that is too often?

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    • Aah, biweekely- using those fancy words! Makes sense though thanks. Basically I don't wanna drop off her radar nor do I want to become her "guy pal"

    • Haha yes exactly! Its a hard balance but do your best. Who knows you might even come to terms with the situation and actually move on but until then you dont need to completely cut her off :)

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 4

  • At this point I think the ball is in her court. You made your intentions known ("late" or otherwise) and she's talking to another guy now. She has to decide, so give her space and let her.

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    • Very true. The ball is in her court but I am concerned that if I don't do anything, that ball is not going anywhere and they are gonna open a starbucks where the court used to be.

  • dude I've been in the same spot before, here's what you could do, if you talk to her a lot back off for a few days, let her wonder why you haven't said anything, then text her or call her and talk to her, ask her how she has been, don't make the conversation about the two of you just talk about random stuff, you could send her flowers one day and compliment her every once in a while let her know you are still interested in her without just coming out and saying it, make her laugh more and smile more, you don't want to get stuck in friend zone cause it is hard to get out of, I've only managed to get out of the friend zone 4 times, it is hard. When you text her just talk about what she has been up to lately, and how she has been doing, slide in a compliment or two in there and maybe she will want to hang out one day and if ya do hang out make her laugh and smile a lot try to give her a better time than the other guy could give her, don't be rude about it though or bring the other guy up though.

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  • Stay in touch with her just in case she breaks it off with that other douche... Date other women bra take you head of this girl ASAP !!!

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    • Yeah I need to get her out of my head, but she literally is a whole lot better than most of the girls around my area. A real catch.

    • Dude there are dozenzzz of women in the WORLD their practically growing of trees : ) ... Except for china They Mest UP !!! any ways girls are turning 18 Right now !!! Abundance Mentality BRA...

  • If she's just dating and she hasn't made it an official girlfriend-boyfriend thing, ask her to hang out, maybe with some of your friends and some of her friends, just not 'that guy'.

    What happened to you could happen to the other guy too. Besides, in tje worst case scenario you could always be a lonely cat la- um... Person.

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