all the dating articles point out that a man will only value a woman if he has to pursue her. is it always the same?
I told a guy I liked him but he told me that I should find a better man because he isn't good enough for me. He also told me that I couldn' t possibly like him, that I only want him because I'm feeling lonely. He once told me that it wasn't possible for him to love anymore.
Does this mean he isn't into me and he's just trying to politely reject me? Or does he feel bad about himself?
However, when we bump into each other (we sometimes go out in the same places), I catch his eye staring at me from a distance, and sometimes he comes by, gives me a hug or a kiss on the cheeks, a tender touch on my hair and disappears in 30 seconds.
A mutual friend told me his ex gf left him for his best friend, so he might not in a good place emotionally?
My question for you guys: do you think it would be a good idea to ask him out on a proper date, or will I just come out as needy and push him away? I just want him to give it ONE shot, and if he doesn't like it, I won't be asking anymore. Is there anything I could do to spark his interest or should I just back off completely? Maybe being around as a friend, making a nice gesture or a simple present would show him that I really care about him, or it will make me look desperate? What do you guys think?
I still appreciate the time you took to answer my question!
Most Helpful Guy
Only an insecure and psychologically immature man would be anything other than delighted if a woman made the approach.
My suggestion would be to ask him on a date. You have nothing to lose.
It is possible that he is in a lot of pain as a result of his former girlfriend, hence his statement that he believed that it was not possible for him to love anyone.
Thirty-five years ago my first girlfriend broke my heart in a way that would make a great soap opera script idea. What she did was truly evil. I did not realise that a person could be in that much pain and not die. A few months later, when I reassembled the pieces of my mind, I found that the folder titled 'romantic love' had been deleted from the operating system. To the best of my knowledge, I am no longer capable of that.
The fellow in whom you are interested may need time, but, as I said, there is nothing to lose by asking.
As you grow older you will find that women on the high side of 35 do the asking often, because by that stage most men have been rejected, hurt and screwed over so many times that they become reluctant to make an approach. They expect rejection, because it has happened a few hundred or thousand times before, so they do not make a move.
Women in my age range make their interest plain, but as soon as they do the pain of every failed relationship and every rejection throughout my life grips me as though it was a giant hand and I am unable to respond.2