What should I do? Has anyone had success with online dating?

I am really anti social and find it hard to talk to people, my friend suggested that I try online dating but all I seem to get is guys who just want to have sex, nobody really wants a long term relationship. what should I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes :p i used badoo and i met my boyfriend :) you just have to be careful and know who to go on dates with and who not to

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What Guys Said 27

  • Haven't had any luck. It's funny too because throughout life I've had very good looking women tell me how handsome I am, I have a pic out on hotornot that is rated 9/10 but all I get is emails from old ladies. Crazy! The women that I have had a meet up with never look like their picture. I finally just threw in the towel. I like my odds better if I can actually see/talk to them before going out for a date.

    Now, let's talk about you. 8-) You need to change your head on viewing talking to people as hard. It isn't! Everyone is the same, more or less. You talk to your parents and sibs. It's the same thing. Let go of the anxiety and remember that that person you're about to talk to might just change your life! Maybe connection to a better job. Maybe the love of your life. Maybe they'll introduce you to the love of your life. Take some chances! You may even want to consider taking a public speaking class to force yourself to have to get up and speak. After a couple of times, you'll think nothing of it. The first step is the hardest but the magic of life is people. Check out Toast Masters. I believe it's still free and will help you overcome your speaking to strangers fear.

    I wish you much success and please don't miss this opportunity to bury your fear; get out there, meet new people and open yourself to the magic they can bring to your life.

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  • Online dating is very very different for women then it is for guys. It has been great for me. My sister actually married someone she met on POF. com. However, for her she said 75% of the messages she received was from married guys, guys just looking for sex, young kids (too young for her) or wrong race...
    So knowing that I know it is going to be that much harder for me since I am a gentleman and one of the good guys. So I have to adapt. When I do get someone to reply I take things slow. If we meet, I stay away from any sex talk. I won't try and kiss her that first meeting, which I don't really consider a date anyway. I have even waited until the 3rd date to kiss her a couple times. In the end it works out.

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  • Work on being more social that is the root of the problem. I myself find it hard to talk to people but that's because of anxiety so what I do which I could barely even handle at first was go to the gym especially a really crowded one and wear your headset and just workout. Now I have transitioned into taking it off and talking with a small group of people that go there. Everyday make a point to talk to a few strangers, its rather easy when you think about it ask that cashier, waiter, co worker, friend or family member how their day is or what their plans are for the day. Bullshit about the weather, television or sports. I have tried online dating and as a guy I have to say I have had zero luck. I have been told I am a 7.5/10 by a couple girls so I don't know what's up there. I must add I have a resting bitch face like my neutral face is kind of a pissed off look. Check your appearance and your style and make adjustment accordingly. I have to admit sex is on my mind a lot of the time but its probably because I have never had sex. I also would like to just meet someone to date but its easier said then done. People seem to be very picky I guess. If you just want sex than go that route for awhile if not listen to me and change your life for the better day by day bit by bit. Good luck and remember you are beautiful inside and out you absolutely deserve someone :)

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  • being anti social, then going to a site that has no social aspects, is adding insult to injury. you should try and become more of a people person. people are awesome, don't be afraid of them. talk to them as you would your family or best friend :)

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  • online dating is good if you use paid sites... i think the best bet is to get a good career and do social events... try the app meetup... meetup. com is an app that gets people in the same area with like minded interests together for events a few times a month... you can find social gatherings of singles that way

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  • basically try to be more social instead.

    don't try online dating your chances are limited, and you'll be disappointed ;-)

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  • I know gals that have a test profile and then their actual profile. They use the test profile to see what things get attention from creepy guys. Calling yourself a feminist can be one good way to filter the crappy ones out.

    Some gals make a profile with no pics and little or no info, either to browse anonymously or if they'd rather just make first contact themselves.

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  • Keep looking. As with real dating, you will meet a lot of people you just won't be compatible with, but there you will meet some that you will work well with long term.

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  • I tried them out and have met a couple girls and start nice and interesting but then they start asking for money for something they need and that kind of ends it with me cause i don't know them enough to send them money espically if i only met ghem online.

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  • waste of time. You try and talk properly, then they just ignore you. You talk to them like shit and they reply. Fucking retarded man. Not to mention dating sites are purely beneficial to girls. They have 500 guys messaging them and boosting their egos with compliments. Basically you just meet low self-esteem people on there.

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  • I was looking for a long term relationship on online dating sites and it was a complete waste of time. I was sending messages to dozens of girls everyday and I don't even got replies back.

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  • Nah I dont need 1
    I have tried 1 website before just for curiosity
    and I found it pretty lame
    no offence by the way

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  • I've been on a few dates due to online dating sites, but I haven't been successful in establishing any relationships.

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  • im hoping for success through GAG LOL but likely won't see that. Other sites are worse. At least here the folks from Ghana/ Nigeria/ Iran dont try to hit you up

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  • Ya, it can work, but most guys on there aren't looking for anything serious

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  • I like shy cuties! Marry meh?

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  • You can certainly find a better guy on social networking sites, make sure you are not wasting time with wrong person & also avoid dating sites... good luck... :)

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  • From what I've heard people use online dating purely for sex

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  • Most guys are just looking for sex. And you don't need a bf you want one good luck and be safe

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  • U haven't meet me 28 .. Stable

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  • Well, if by long-term you mean having sex at least twice with the same person, then yes, that is what I'm looking for...

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  • the good guys are in disguise or hiding.

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  • Try speed dating.

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  • I would like a long term relationship, but it is certainly going to start with sex, after a reasonable time.
    There are some guys that just want some casual sex, but
    i believe most guys want a relationship, but it is going to have to start with sex.

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  • I heard if you're not getting lucky, try a few different websites cause different ones have different kinds of people in general or you can go to a paying site which is even better apparently.

    I prefer an anti-social girl by the way but when I approach them in person they don't seem to want to talk to me for some reason.

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  • Two guys at work used match. Com One got married in October after dating a year. One met a smokin hot women, they are both in their 40s but she is hotter than most 20 somethings. Those two just went up into the mountains for the weekend, both are previously divorced with kids. My son will start using online sites soon and i think he has a lot to offer. I think it is an effective means to find people efficiently, especially for shy people as there are a lot of us out there.

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  • Not really, I've been on a couple dates with girls from dating sites and I've spoken to quite a few online but they all seem to lose interest sooner or later. This might be more of a reflection of my social skills than online dating in general though.

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What Girls Said 13

  • You will have much more luck with a paid site, such as Match. Just take a few days of emailing them back and forth before giving them your number to see if there is anything that you can build upon with that guy. Amazingly enough, I can get a lot of the info i need from the first one or two email exchanges and many of them never make it past those exchanges; it works in reverse too, as some guys lose interest in me during these exchanges as well.

    You can never know what is in a guy's mind. Online dating is no worse, in my humble opinion, then meeting someone at the bar. Dating in general is a risky business. I feel that at least with online dating you can get a feel for the person through their "about me" profiles, so it isn't a totally blind start.

    I hae had many great dates and a few lousy ones. It is a gamble, but the payoff can be great.

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  • I met my boyfriend through tinder. You meet a lot of guys that are there just for sex, but eventually you meet someone nice. Besides my boyfriend, I dated one other guy that was actually looking for something serious. Target guys above 25. ;-)

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  • I was in a long distance relationship which lasted 2 months. However, we didn't break up because of the distance we broke up because of him. My best friend, on the other hand, had a LDR for over a year with a guy. They loved each other but ended up breaking up because they weren't going anywhere. Honestly, LDR either work or they don't. It depends on the people and how well they can't handle the distance.

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  • Been with my bf almost 2 years. We met on okcupid. Paid sites however, maybe better if you can afford it, most guys don't want to pay for a hook up. You still need to filter them, not every guy you meet is going to be a prince charming.

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  • Yes. I met my boyfriend on DIA a couple of years ago. We're still together now. :)
    Not everyone online is up for sex. Lots of amazing guys you'll meet out there. Just be talkative and learn to carry a conversation. Good luck on this!

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  • There's no harm in using dating sites. Just be careful and only meet the person if you're 100% sure it's them. There's some right creeps out there.

    Good luck. x

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  • My dating life = 70 percent meeting men when out in all aspects of "walking life"
    30 percent meeting men via online dating sites
    ie: Men and sex are my oxygen :)

    Tbh, I have had good and bad experiences with both.

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  • I've never been into that sort of thing. maybe try meeting guys through your mutual friends instead.

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  • No way too many creeps

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  • Same here... i don't date but I want a relationship. .. haha don't know how that's gonna happen..

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  • Yes. OkCupid. Been with him 4 months and its going well. But I was on there just because I was curious and not to find love.

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  • I didn't have a proper relationship until I was 22. I met the guy online. Though it wasn't on a dating site. It was while playing a game. Maybe you just need to keep your eyes open while doing stuff you like. That way you'd find likeminded people as well.
    Can't really say anything about online dating itself. I tried it once but I quickly lost interest after finding out that the people I saw there just weren't my kind of people.

    Good luck though either way.

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  • Well Im going to be honest. About 2% of online relationships probably work. I've tried it with a guy 17 years my senior. At first we got along but afterwards it was just about 'him' and pressuring me for nudes even when I would just send a simple picture. He also was always horny and wanting to 'talk dirty' and jack off all the time. Pretty disgusting fucker. Personally, I'd try to find a guy where you're at. Im socially awkward too. But online relationships are much more stressful and have a lot more... um how do I put it... creepy guys masking it. Just trust me on this, find a guy around you :)

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    • Oh come on, not every guy online asks for nude pics and wants to jack off while talking to you. I think the 2% is what you found.

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