My boyfriend is getting a little too controlling, please give me advice on how to stop it?

I've been dating my boyfriend for five months but He's started to get overbearingly controlling. He makes me eat when I'm not hungry (I have no eating disorder). He tells me what I can and cannot wear in public unless he is there. He reprimands me for forgetting my seatbelt. He's even threatened to spank me for messing up on giving him directions to a restaurant. He said the spanking would be nonsexual and a real because I needed to learn better to give better detections. It really makes me uncomfortable he is my boyfriend NOT my father. I do not act imature, I do not start fights with him, and I am very independent. i just don't know how to get him to stop looking down on me like I'm some helpless brat who needs him. I do love him and want to stay with him, I would just like him to see me as his equal. I want to let him know how I feel but I'm not sure on how to go about it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Simply say you won't accept the spanking, eat what you want, and dress however you like and he can come along if he likes. He will have to accept it and if he starts to get physical then it's probably time to consider leaving him. Don't let this slide though, it won't go away on its own.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Profile of an Abuser/Batterer

    1. Jealousy (questioning her constantly about whereabouts, and jealous of time she spends away from him).
    2. Controlling behavior (I’ve had clients who’s victim couldn’t get a job, leave the house or bathe without his permission)
    3. Isolation (Makes partner move away from family and friends so that she depends on him solely for support.)
    4. Forces her to have sex against her will (I’ve had several clients who forced their partners to have sex with their friends and forces sex when she is asleep.)
    5. Holds very rigid gender roles (Believes that her job is just to cater to him, he is the “king of the castle.”)

    Men that are abuse are very clever, smart, and extremely charming. Most of these men have a personality that draws people in because of their level of charm this is part of their art to deceive and manipulate. This is why often times when a victim does report an assault she is not easily believed because people usually say “not him, he is so nice’ “you are so lucky”,

    The Cycle Of Violence:

    Phase 1: Tension building (In this phase there is usually tension building from the batterer/abuser and there is usually an argument)

    Phase 2: Explosion (this is where the assault happens)

    Phase 3: Honeymoon Phase (this is where the batterer/abuser apologizes for his behavior buying the victim gifts or flowers)

    The cycle of violence will not end until one partner leaves or seeks treatment.

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    • Is it possible for the him to change? Or is that a naive fantasy?

    • He won't change. Abusers haves a sick pride, they don´t take a no as an answer and It´s all about what they want.

  • Talk it out with him. If he doesn't want to? Then it's time for a break from Mr Jerkface. You can't change him - he will only change himself, but If he doesn't want to, he never will - don't waste your time in a relationship where the partner is abusive (not respecting you is synonymous with abuse). Good luck.

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  • You run as fast as you can away from him. He isn't going to change if he is gone this far. I think he was always this way, and has hidden it until he got you under his thumb. He is ONLY going to press down harder.

    Seriously run away!

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  • Shut up and take it like a man. You were dumb enough to love him and the cost is disrespect. A girl in love is a fool in fact.

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  • Uh, just leave.

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    • like seriously why do they even put up with these guys.

    • @Destinybae There's as many reasons as there are girls like that. But at the root of it all is that women are attracted to men based on characteristics that are innate to some men. (just like we are to ya'll)

    • Head over heart.

  • break up with him what the hell? he sounds like a psycho

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What Girls Said 3

  • Helllllllll noooooooo bitch. This bitch has some fuckin issues. It doesn't matter if u love him bitch leave NOW. It starts out as he's going to far I will stay with him if he changes, then he dosen't , he beats you, ur pregnant and he leaves you. Leave this motherfucker. If he beats that's on u.

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  • Leave him.

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  • id simply say pull ur head out your ass i dont like how ur controlling me if it continues im leaving

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