Should I break things off with this girl because I still can't get over an old crush?

She's a nice girl, very attractive and likes me. We live in the same dorm and she made a move and she spent the night in my bed and we kissed. The issue is as I kissed her and cuddled I thought of another girl who hurt me multiple times and rejected me. I've been obsessed with her for year and a half but she never felt the same and now I have this guilt cause everything I do with this girl i fantasize I'm with someone else.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • personally I've been there. the best thing for both of you is to take a break. you can't give her your all unless you've moved on and since you think of her while you're with this other girl its clear you haven't. but it will hurt this new girl more the longer you drag it out. you have to figure out what you want to be able to move on.

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    • I feel bad cause I'm an idiot for letting it go that far as i did.

What Girls Said 2

  • Well, first I don't think its right for you to want another girl while talking to another. That could end up hurting her. Secondly, let go of that other girl already! Like seriously you are only going to torture yourself.

    You can't continue to go back to the same dog who bit you. You get bit once, okay lesson learned. You get bit twice, why the hell do you keep approaching it? Same goes for the toxic girl. Why fantasize over her SHE doesn't WANT YOU. Trust me if she didn't she wouldn't screw you over or. hurt you if she's a real woman.

    So suck it up already and find someone worthy. You clearly have someone who is. interested. do you want to throw that away for one chick who isn't into you or possible future interest. You sound way to obsessive.

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    • I am torturing myself and it kills me cause I even went to a counseler and still can't move on. This girl is great and I appreciate her cause she's a virgin until marriage and seems really into me but I feel guilty in a way.

    • Only you can make yourself move on. If she's in your contacts delete her. Pics... delete em. Social media delete and block. Occupy your mind with other things. No one is worth being miserable. Been there done that. Got over it as well... You need to. There are so many wonderful women out here even if they aren't a virgin, or prettiest... Or smartest. If someone is good to you, you have a connection, and. you two are on the same page nothing else matters. Its all about the feeling you get from someone.

      I doubt that girl cares you are upset over her... So why continue to be upset. Take all those thoughts you have of her and. counteract them with healthy ones. Seriously, find it in you to move past her. It. will eat you alive and eventually you will won't to smack yourself later om down the. road.

  • Yes it's unfair to keep things going with the new girl if you will never have the feelings she has, you'll hurt her more if you keep things going

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What Guys Said 1

  • Eh... You probably shouldn't be getting all physical with her if the reason you're with her is to satisfy your craving for someone else.

    If this girl seems worth pursuing and you have a genuine interest in her, she deserves a proper chance. If she's just a random pickup though, I doubt anything that good will come of this.

    As it stands, you haven't mentioned anything about this girl other than how she slept in your bed, cuddled with you, and made out. Is there anything else to her aside from being assertive in meeting your physical desire? If not, some warning lights would be flashing in my head right now.

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    • She's attractive and a lot of guys tell me I'm lucky but I closed my eyes during the make out session I didn't think about her at all. I have an unhealthy obsession with my old crush and I though she would take it away but its not helping.

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    • I think you need to figure out what "non physical" things are important to you in a woman. Beauty wares off with age. Even the butterflies you described are chemistry, and chemistry is physical. Chemistry wears off faster than beauty does.

      Chemistry and beauty are all well and good, and of course we aren't going to date someone who we don't enjoy dating, but I think you need to step back from the dating scene for a bit and consider what sort of qualities you're looking for in a woman. By this I mean personality, beliefs, interests, financial independents, family, standards, etc. Otherwise, relationships are just breakups and heartbreaks that haven't happened yet.

    • *financial independence

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