I'm not comfortable with intimacy, is it really a big deal?

I enjoy spending time with this girl i'm dating, the only thing is that i do not want to kiss her or have sex with her, i'm happy with just hugging and holding hands, how important is intimacy to you in a stable relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Eventually you'll have to get over that, kissing and physical intimacy isn't the Most important aspect of the relationship but it is essential to maintain it at a healthy state.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Have you talked to her? Strangers on the internet aren't going to be able to get inside her mind any better than you can... She needs to know that you feel this way. Like, for myself, I was sexually assaulted a few years back, and I'm sure to let any man that I'm dating know that this affects me, and I'm not going to be comfortable being intimate until I know them very well. But they know that going in, and aren't left questioning why I back away if they get handsy. If you haven't told your girlfriend, she might be questioning whether you actually like her, rather than understanding that intimacy just isn't your thing. Do you know why you feel this way? Like, are you sexually attracted to her but uncomfortable showing it, or are you not sexually attracted to her at all? If you are attracted and uncomfortable with it, you might want to let her know this. Question what aspects of intimacy turn you off. And if you aren't attracted to her, that's fine! if you're attracted to other people, maybe she's just meant to be a really good friend. If you aren't attracted to anyone, maybe you are asexual. There's nothing wrong with a dislike of intimacy, you just need to talk it over with the person you care about rather than strangers on the internet. Good Luck! :)

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    • i am attracted her sexually and emotionally, its just i feel uncomfortable about the idea of having sex.

  • If there's no intimacy, why bother being in a relationship? If this girl's expecting something, you're only going to be hurting her later.

    Unless of course she feels the same way, but that would be pretty rare. If you think you that might be asexual but a romantic, you're best finding someone you shares your sexuality.

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  • I actually have your opposite problem.

    Physically and sexually I luuuuurve being intimate.
    Emotionally I am a complete vacant waste land.

    I don't believe in monogamy... death to me is truly preferable.

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  • It depends on what she want. For myself it won't work.

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  • I think not kissing her is a little weird. Would you ever cuddle with her? I think intimacy is a huge part of a relationship, not even sex, just physical contact. I would respect your decision and date you if you didn't want to have sex, but not if you didn't want to kiss

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    • I can handle kissing, it's just that i've always felt more conservative, i just dont really enjoy all out tongues in mouth action haha, but i prefer a simple yet heartfelt kiss

  • Seems like you dont like her.

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  • I'm just like you! I just like to hold hands and hug sometimes :)) I think it's normal. Being friends is always good!

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    • You're right, sometimes it may be better just to be close friends, than anything more serious

What Guys Said 0

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