I am seeing a man I have dated off and on for years. Most recently we have been together almost three months. We were watching a TV show with a rather weird kid on it the other day and I told him that would be our child if we ever had one.
I was just playing around, but it led to an hour long conversation of where the relationship was, how he feels about kids, and that he does not want to even talk about it. I took the stance that if you are having sex and are careful accidents can happen. I personally am not ready for a kid, and do try to prevent it, but he seemed to go to an extreme. Was it just too early to joke?
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It's pretty simple question. Would he consider having children if you both decided to commit to a long term relationship? Three basic response options. The obvious yes or no and then some sort of refusal to talk, delay to answer, possible how dare you ask etc. Other than answering, he will think about it and let you know this month, all other excuses are pretty similar. He's avoiding the answer because he prefers to put his feelings and interests first before you. No answer within a month means, in his mind, your question does not deserve the effort and so your needs do not deserve his effort. Do you see where I am going with this? You have a ligitimate topic. Not respecting your needs will be part of a pattern of how he deals with you overall for everything. No answer? You are not that important to him. Mind you, he may do the exact same thing with everyone which, in my book, means he avoids difficult issues and thinks about himself first.
Tell him, you would really like him to think it over and would appreciate an answer by next month. It doesn't lock him into anything. The two of you still have to see how your relationship develops over the next year or so. This is an important issue and you believe you deserve to know where he stands on this.
It's your choice, you can be firm and ask a prefectly normal question about possible children in the future, or you can accept no answer and remember in about 10 years that at one point you had a choice and you didn't take it.
There are guys who would give you the respect to answer this question. You may find a nicer experience with someone who can give you this respect.
Hope that helps.0