Rules for setting up friends?

Are there rules to follow when doing this?

One of my good friends, is looking for a guy.. isn't looking to be too serious right away.. wants to take it slow..

But she wants someone outside her circle of friends, wants someone who wants kids, is about her age, has a steady job.. a guy who is reliable and stable, without being clingy... with similar interests.. and she isn't interested in online dating.

Now.. one of my exs.. I think is THIS guy..

Should I introduce them? or play stupid and stay out of it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • My stance is: you can offer to introduce them, but make it clear that it is THEIR OWN decision on whether they like each other and/or are compatible with each other. You can't vouch for any of that, even if it seems on the surface that there is some potential there. It will be on them to do the work to get to know each other and determine if they are compatible and want to build a future together.

    Be up-front that you don't know everything there is to know about either one of them, and that you won't be responsible if they don't work out. If they don't agree, then don't make the introduction.

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What Guys Said 7

  • sure introduce them

    I think the only rule should be that you shouldn't base decisions based on what you like but what the person likes. so don't pick a guy because you like them but pic them because you think the friend would like them... which it sounds like you are doing

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  • Let em meet and see what happens.

    I don't think it will work out anyway. She's too guarded. People who want casual can find it, people who want a relationship can find it, but the odds that two people can keep it light and casual to begin with move slowly and then both get serious at the same time is really, really low.

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  • I wouldn't set up any of my friends w/ my exes. I know for a fact that there's a great deal of respect between many of us and then to simply set them up with one of my exes would to me at least would like a fucking huge slap in the face, straight back hand. Basically telling them hey, here's my shitty leftovers, take it. No way would I do that. I think you should just find someone else.

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  • I'm for matchmakers.

    But yeah, let 'em know up-front that you're just being a nosy-parker.

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  • Well i can see why you have conflicting thoughts on this, if you feel they are a match why not try and perhaps put them in each others company without a mention of hooking up and see if there is a spark?

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    • It would be really hard for me to put them in the same room, and her not assume that was what was up. well.. unless he was shirtless. His tattoo's might make her make assumptions.

    • Well maybe let fate take its course that way you can't be blamed for anything

  • Play stupid and let what will be to be. Love will find a way if it were meant to be

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    • They have no reason to meet unless I bring him to her.. or I throw a party.

    • Throw a party then or go out where you can invite them both

  • It couldn't hurt to introduce them. Worth a shot.

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What Girls Said 3

  • When you find him please get two, one for me, one for her, and one for you.
    shit that's three.
    I hate math.

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    • He and I are done for a reason.

      What is perfect for her, is not for me.

  • i've always had bad experiences with this. i wouldn't do it.

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  • Introduce them and leave it at that. Personally I would stay out of it.

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