Why is it so hard to move on unless I find someone new?

I feel so weird that I can't move on from one person until I find someone else who makes me feel the same way. I find myself so sad after a break up and no matter if they weren't worth the sadness I can't stop thinking about them. The only way I seem to be able to move on is by finding someone who makes me forget the person before. I'm not a person who has nothing to do. I go out, I work full time, I go to school, I'm always keeping busy working out but still nothing makes me stop obsessing with the person I just ended things with. Does anyone else have this issue? I don't like to be a person who jumps from one relationship to another but when I try to go months without one I just pine for the last person. Maybe I'm just lonely despite my busy schedule? Can anyone else relate. I know people say it takes time but it doesn't matter if I was with them for 3 months or 2 years I can't seem to get over it. It just depresses me.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I know exactly how you feel. You are not alone. Really. I am exactly like you, down to the letter. Being discouraged. I totally get it. I am the same. I met someone after getting my heartbroken by someone else, and with the most recent one, I fell basically in love. She was my dream girl, beyond all rationality. I cannot possibly understate that. And people say "Oh, just move on. You'll find someone". But that's the thing; it's like a catch 22, isn't it? You can't move on without meeting someone better, but you can't find that better someone until you move on. And it sucks feeling like that.

    I myself have the issue of me not being a partier. I don't know when you were my age you were like this, but I am against partying. I don't drink, I don't smoke, do drugs, or anything like that. And being my age (almost 21 in two weeks), it is so hard finding the "good girl" I want. The humble, innocent, sweet, version of me that I had before the thing with this previous girl collapsed (though I'm hoping to redeem it come Christmas). And that's the thing; I'm in college... how the hell do I find a "non-drinker" or a "good girl" in college? It's damn near impossible. The only two people I've met in my life in my almost 21 years who share this mentality of mine were this recent girl and the one who broke my heart before her. Two people. And that's it. So it's so hard trying to remain positive about finding my "the one", when it's dismal at best trying to find a non-drinker, let alone the perfect girl I almost had a few weeks ago.

    So no. It's not just you. I wish I could give you some sort of advice as to how to stop this. Because if I did, I would take that advice for myself! Haha. But I guess, just keep pushing. That's what I've been told. Keep going. While I think "yeah right..." everyone says you'll find that one if you just keep going. If I don't believe that, what else do I have? So I think you should do the same as me. Just keep going.

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    • Thank you... I'm glad I'm not alone. It's hard but I guess like you said push on. For me I'm religious so I do pray but it's still hard. Just feel broken but this time I'm just trying to feel good about myself by getting more into fitness.

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