Dated a girl, she chose another guy. Guy fucked and chucked her. Now she wants me back. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

So I met this girl in my class in college, she's a smart and beautiful girl, overall a good girl. We started going on dates and seeing each other for about a month or so. But no sex yet. While we were getting food in school we met a guy who was working there. He was working behind the counter and he and her have known each other and talked whenever she got food there. So he invites us to a dinner with his friends and she said she would go, i couldnt because i had to work. fast forward, she really hit it off with the guy who asked her to dinner with his friends. she ends up dating him instead. apparently they had sex about a week into deciding to date. I was sad and hurt but since we were just dating and not officially going out i couldnt be that mad. A month later she contacts me saying that she wanted to have coffee. come to find that the guy cheated on her and didn't want to date her anymore. She says she was very stupid and was very sorry. She wants to try dating me again and wants to take it to the end this time. What do you guys think my answer should be? I told her i need to think about it.

[MakeitOrDieTrying]

Fuck that shit man you gotta respect yourself. DO NOT make it easy for her if you do proceed to go with her, she has to EARN YOU, not the other way around. I'd STRAIGHT UP express my frustrations : "So I'm the 'backup plan' huh? What makes you think you deserve to meet up with me after putting me in that position?"

Now she can respond
A) Negatively. "Pfft, whatever". Then you just dodged a bullet, her true colors show.
B) She genuinely seems to have made a mistake and regrets it. I'd honestly go through and meet up, see where it goes from there. You can tell a lot more close up than you can over a text.

[TrueblueInfantry]

I like this idea. Very wise advice my friend.

[meowcow]

I would not take her back. Expect being stepped on the rest of your life if you do. She is obviously willing to dump you at a moment's notice if someone nicer, hotter or richer comes by. You are the contingency plan. The backup. The Plan B.

Find someone else who likes you enough to never consider you expendable.

[Fezziwig]

Well, what do you want? I do not see this as an absolute hell no situation. By your account, you were in the very early stages of dating and you weren't physical yet or exclusive. Then she was quite honest and forthcoming that it had become physical and therefore exclusive with this other chap. This is called dating, folks. I think she behaved pretty damn ethically and she sounds trustworthy. You do have to deal with the ego blow that you are kind of Runner Up, but that's not a crime. You could go on to have an awesome thing together.

[BuchitaBuchys]

I say move on. That's completely disrespectful. I don't really understand this whole "we're just dating" culture that you young folk seem to have going on, but if a guy did that to me, Hell no.
You deserve better than to be anyone's second choice.

It depends on how you feel, but if this were me, I wouldn't take this person seriously anymore.
Good luck.

[martyfellow]

Well put...

[Anonymous]

Hrm, if it were my bf, I wouldn't want him back after that... After all, he would've left me for someone else, was more intimate with them in like an eighth of the time I knew him, and on top of that, I'd be really worried he might cheat if we tried to get into a relationship or started dating again. Nope, if it were me I wouldn't even consider it.

[MissBex95]

Don't just settle for being somebody's second option. Respect yourself enough to know you deserve better than that. You're giving yourself time to think, and if anything about being with her or giving it another chance feels wrong don't do it! Trust your gut, and know what you deserve from a relationship!

[Anonymous]

TELL HER NO! I am TIRED of these B*TCHES doing this crap! Enough with the games already! I mean just look at the bad boy/nice guy stuff. Maybe that will also help to show you what I mean. I am sick of it, especially when they string you. She chose the wrong guy, but is using you as a second option. I don't have time for that sh**. Just a waste of my time and energy. If she is like that and insecure, what makes you think she won't be like that to you. I have seen this stuff happen too often and it's sickening. Trust me. Move on and find someone better. I will stand up and this is truth. I am not dealing drama and baggage. Neither do I want to deal with her mess.

[Opinion Owner]

Haha the truth do make these type of women upset lol. Not all but most.

[fizzlestick]

Fuck that, move on. If she wanted you, she would of been with you. Instead she chose this other guy, her fucked her over. Get a girl that chooses you over anybody else.

Fucking her and chucking is good too.

[Anonymous]

Please don't date her. You can do better. She sounds like a hot mess.

While the norm is to date multiple people at once casually, I don't think many people think it is ok to sleep with one or more of the people you're seeing.

I personally am a one guy kind of girl. But that's what I think about the typical girl who dates several guys casually at a time.

I don't like how she slept with him while also seeing you. That would bother me personally.

[Opinion Owner]

Another important thing I forgot to add: she would likely do this again. She doesn't seem like a responsible girl who knows what she wants. You're looking for trouble if you get back with her.

And tbh it does sound like she would still be with that guy if he hadn't cheated and wasn't interested in her. She just wants a man and sees you as a backup.

Go out there and get some awesome girl who thinks you're first place!

[koibito]

Don't take her back. She jumped on the next available guy and got intimate that fast, showing that you just don't have enough chemistry with her (from her perspective).

I think you should try to date another girl, this one is probably not a keeper.

[Popnlock]

Damn that sucks, so y'all dated for a month and no sex, and he dated her n got the cookie in a week? That's a little insulting and would probably come up later in the relationship if you do end up getting with her, also sounds like a story you should never tell your kids "your mom was dating me then dumped me for some other dude who fucked n chucked her and I took her back"

[AleDeEurope]

It all depends on the feelings you have towards her, but if I was in your situation, I would say no. She thought that I wasn't enough for her, that's why she chose the other guy. Now that that failed she wants me back? Hell no! I'm not a rebound, if you really wanted me, you wouldn't have left me at first.

I would decline her offer, but always be respectful, I mean, don't insult her or anything, just tell her: "You didn't want me before, now I don't want you. Sorry... goodbye ;)".

[srslyly]

Tell her to fuck off for good. You weren't "officially dating"? Really? Now this other guy "cheated on her"? Fucking really? I guess she was "officially dating" him, though. This bitch sounds so completely full of shit it makes my stomach turn. You'll never be "in a relationship" with her when she's ready to fuck someone else, but you always will be whenever she expects something from you.

[Greece1990]

Yea I would just bang her to, you can't make it obvious that your bitter because now she is trying to protect herself and won't bang you. Who knows you may even like her enough to keep dating her. You can always hold this over her head in a relationship also, it might not be nice but neither was bailing on you for another guy.

[sammy_31]

I wouldn't go back, she screwed you unless you want to but don't be surprised if she drops you again.

[Insaan]

If you have got any self respect... Then NO.
Just stay as a friend. NNever enter in a relationship with her.
Ever heard this dialogue?
Women are like monkeys..
When monkey's swing from branch to branch they won't let go until they have a hold of the next branch. Women won't let go of a guy until she has a hold on another..

[SomeoneImportant]

Never heard of the phrase "fuck and chuck", got a little laugh out of that. Buy I say move on man, you can find a better girl, she shouldn've picked you when she had the chance. Don't be her back up plan man, she made a decision, it went to shit, its not your job to clean her up and help her feel better. So leave her alone, unless you just feel like getting laid, in that case, keep in touch with her.

[275153]

don't. I've been there. The way my ex treated me was the safe bet. Every time the new exiting muscle bound boyfriend would dump her, she'd be knocking at my door asking for forgivness. To be gone the next time a more good looking guy, or a richer guy showed up.

She's had the opportunity to show you what she thinks of you. You're the fall back guy.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

[Kshppatel]

Nah man you should no contact him r and move on. She sees you as the "nice guy" so she's expecting you to take her back if you will. Make it clear that you will not stand for being the backup guy. I have had an experience like yours. I chose to date her and she ended up cheating on me. Don't be that guy.

[275153]

Exactly! What happened to consequences for her actions?

[YasminThompson]

To be brutally honest with you, you'd look so fucking weak and pathetic if you took her back LOOL. Don't be a pussy. Get yourself a fine ass girl that knows how I stay loyal to one guy.

[ChaosKilledTheDinos]

She doesn't value you, I would leave her and find a girl who sees YOU as her first choice. Sounds like if this guy hadn't cheated and dumped her they'd still be together.

[jeanbean]

I don't know... I feel like it would be dumb to agree to be her fall-back option. I wouldn't be okay with being second best or a backup plan in someone's eyes, I want to be the best thing since pre-sliced bread in a man's mind when I'm with him.

[NoDoubt]

This ^ and I like and agree with being the best thing since pre-sliced bread lol

[indian_empress_91]

Don't like you are showing her you don't have self respect if you take her back with you both knowing this truth. I say there are many girls out there that deserve a chance to date you, forget her. She clearly doesn't know what she wants

[Anonymous]

Honestly man you've gotta decide if you care about this girl, if you really do care about her then go out with her see where it goes, if you don't care about her then move on. Personally man I think girls can make decisions pretty fast and if they don't work out they'll try and go back.

[Phoenix1991]

Tell her to go fuck herself, I know thats a bit rude but its the right thing. You don't deserve that kind of treatment and neither does she deserve a good man like yourself. You can get any other girl so no worries bro, hang in there =)

[martyfellow]

I'm afraid the minute you're busy again she'll hit it off with some other guy and it will be bye-bye.

You got off easy the first time, since you had only been seing each other for a month... this time it might be more painful.