On a scale of 1 to asshole, how bad is what he did?

After ignoring my texts for a couple of days, he finally texted back a response to one of them and mentioned us needing to talk. I asked him when we could, and he didn't respond. I called him a bit later and he surprisingly answered! He sounded in good spirits and said he was "busy" but we'd talk around 10 that night. He said everything was fine and we'd be fine.

Did not hear from him around 10. Tried to follow up by texting him about 11 if we were still going to talk. No response. Called him a 1 to tell him I was going to bed and was a little upset because I waited all night for him.

He was LIVID that I called him, claiming, "I was just about to get to you." We ended up not talking about what we needed to talk about, but he did spend the next hour yelling at me for being so annoying and overwhelming.

Weeks later after we had "broken up," aka him just disappearing and me never hearing from him again... I hacked into his MySms X_X and found that that very night that he was "busy" before we were supposed to talk,

HE WAS ACTUALLY ONLY BUSY TEXTING THIS GIRL HE PICKED UP AT CHIPOTLE AND ASKED OUT (while in a relationship with me). He sounded happy on the phone and rushed me to get off because he was in the middle of flirtaciously throwing himself at her. The timestamps all add up. That texting conversation lasted until around 10 but didn't end in his favor because she ended up cancelling their dinner date... which he was so sad about because he was already brainstorming of places to take her to (how thoughtful) and because he really liked her and was so attracted to her (aw!).

I guess him yelling at me was a projection of his frustration over this rejection. Also she's 19 and he's 26 and did I mention, I was his girlfriend?

"Busy" will never mean the same to me again.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • On the scale that you suggest, he is an arsehole.
    Thank the other girl for taking him off your hands. She has done you a huge service.
    Re-evaluate what you find attractive in men. Could it be that you are drawn to the arseholes?
    Move on and make a better choice next time.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Listen, Love... That dude is FAR beyond 'asshole.' He is a rank 'piece of shit.' And I hope you never see, speak to, or think about him again. You DO NOT deserve to be treated like that. I feel bad for you. I really do. I hope something awful happens to that guy. Like an IRS audit, or he stubs his big toe really bad every night of his life... or he gets cancer of the prick.

    Please. Please, please, please, don't ever give him another chance. I see so many girls - WAY too many girls - continually falling back into relationships with guy who don't deserve them. There is a better guy out the for you. I know it. I'd lay my hand on the Bible itself and say the same thing. Who ever the lucky cat is who snags you next, better treat you like I treat my girlfriends. He damn well better!

    I hope you'll stay in touch. I want to know that you're happy. :)

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    • You're so sweet! Thank you so much for your kind words :) He's not welcome in my life anymore even if he ever shows remorse for what he did (which he has none of right now). It's just too late for everything and I've already spent 7+ years giving him so much! Thanks again for your compassion!

    • Seven years. You poor cheated bunny. That's horrible. I'm now officially sad. But, I will take comfort in the fact that I believe what you said - that its just too late for him. I hope so, friend. I really hope so.

      Well good luck, Sweetheart, and God bless.

  • A guy is never too busy to talk to his girlfriend, someone that he actually ares about. Definiteky a two- timing cheating asshole

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  • He's a Mega Douche.

    By the way busy is often an excuse, nobody is ever bust 24/7.

    I hope you have dumped his ass.

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  • Busy has always meant the same thing to me. "BULLSHIT". I literally try to never use that word. If I am truly busy, I just say "sry not right now"

    You're looking at a level 11/10 asshole. The whole phone thing was already on the 7/10 asshole meter but finding out he was hitting on another girl? lol hahaha

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  • A big ol' asshole.

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  • You're scary 0_0 (did you hack hack or did you just already know his account info or had a good guess on it?)

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    • We were together for almost 8 years. I've smelled so many of his farts and yes, I already knew all of his account information. Just had no interest in checking before.

    • So... asshole or nah?

    • I don't reallllllllllly understand why you needed to mention his farts, too much info, but yeah, first off, he was stupid to give that info to you, not calling you stupid. But yeah, he's an asshole

  • You should never fall in love with a cheating boy friend... Break up with him already! I know a break up is hard, but soon you will be glad you broke up with him! >:)
    Sooner or later your boyfriend will regret on ever cheating on you, and you will be happy that you are not with him anymore! It will take a few years though.

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  • And your crazy because you hacked his account, now granted he was an asshole but he probably wanted to tell you it's over, but your crazy and he probably figured that out

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    • meh. NO RAGRETS. Only thing I'm not proud of is that I ever cared so much about why he was treating me with crap instead of just leaving.

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    • No, I totally understand. I know that he's not the only one with blood on his hands. But in a good relationship, there probably shouldn't be any blood at all... so good thing I'm finally out of that relationship! Thanks for keeping it real.

    • Yup, best to get over the cheating bastard

  • Wow, you actually hacked his SmS? Well good he broke up with you. I'd rate you level: Psycho

    There were already red flags to begin with. Why'd you stay with him in the 1st place is the question...

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    • I understand why you'd call me a psycho but I'm not losing sleep over what I did. he abruptly abandoned me and left me with a million questions... on my 25th birthday. I got the answers I needed and can finally move on knowing I didn't do anything wrong.

    • Good, you're tougher than I thought you were. May you move one faster

What Girls Said 1

  • Yeah he was blowing up at you to create a smokescreen from having to discuss his own shitty behavior. Sorry. He's an ass. You should screw his brother or something (kidding :)

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