Do you think my boyfriend is asking too much for today?

Okay I'll start off by saying my boyfriend asked me to come to his job's Christmas party about two months ago. Of course I agreed to go because I want to make him happy. Well the party is today. I just worked 4 12 hour shifts this week PLUS worked at my second job. My main job is an hour away from where I live. My boyfriend is aware of this. Now I have to drive from work to my house to change, get dressed and drive about 45 - 50 min to his company party. Then drive all the way back home after its all said and done. And I'm scheduled to go into work tomorrow. I haven't been off from work since last Sunday. I am exhausted.

Is he asking too much of me?

Updates:
I just explained to him that it's tiring to do all of this driving on top of having worked all day. That I'd go but to be more attentive in the future. He simply responded that he understands and immediately changed the subject. I don't think he really understands... I don't know I'm just really really irritated probably due to me being very tired.
He's going to pick me up. I told him it'd make more sense if someone rode with the other. Sooo... that takes care of things.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • As wise as I am and as Scheduled as I have always been, if you have known 'About two months' now about this Christmas party, sweetie, you should have not only have circled the Date that was very important to your Mate, but also, did a little 'Arranging and rearranging' of your own on your end with your two jobs so you could at least have been able to go to this party Together.
    The way I see it, if you give your job or even two Jobs plenty of notice ahead of time, this can be worked out and Team effort on your part would have been made... this way you won't have any problems with your soul mate who Then-----Changed the subject.
    Make it up to him and hopefully everything will blow over.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Not at my job. They don't care about your personal life. If you can't work the days they tell you to come in without a valid reason then you could be fired. I have done many things for him already. I've driven my car to go see him on NUMEROUS occasions just this past month! I picked HIM up to attend my mother's Birthday dinner. Is it so much to expect him to return the favor. Like SERIOUSLY? I'm sooooo tired of this I even had a heated discussion with him about my time and how little of it I have after work. Because he tried to reschedule a date we had for later in the day. I'm not a fucking robot. I need my rest. I guess I'd have to crash and burn on the side of the road until others get the point.

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    • Thank you, sweetie, for allowing me to try and shed some light.. and thank you for Making me see further two sides of the coin, since I learned more that was in store.. Happy holidays:)) xxoo

    • Thank you so much... however, with That and knowing what to do next time, I do agree he needs to even see how hard you are trying and how tired you are trying to make ends meet with two jobs.. he has an amazing girl, he should try and compromise as well and a talk is indeed in order.:)) xx

What Guys Said 4

  • Can't he come pick you up?

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    • He never offered. If he wanted to he would have offered.

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    • I just find this whole thing dumb. I mean if he wanted me to come WITH HIM to his job's Christmas party then wouldn't that require someone RIDING WITH the other?

    • You are correct. It is dumb. Just say it to him (in the least aggressive phrasing possible), explain how you see it. Sometimes guys fail to connect the dot in these occasions. You have explained the circumstances but he failed to read what you are implying. So try saying explicitly what you think about it (do phrsse it gently) I hope that helps.

  • He should be considerate of your schedule , i think he should of least made offer to give you transportation instead of you doing all that driving but i wouldn't let him get to you...

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  • Just remind him of the situation and probably he'll understand because you seem to have a very tiring day

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  • yes he is, thats a lot to handle and sound really tiring. can't you back out and just say you are tired, he would understand if you explained it to him surely

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    • My thoughts exactly. I explained to him this but he didn't say anything but "I understand".

    • did you tell him you dont want to go? like you dont really have to go so he should of even suggessed you stay home and rest, do whats best for you, if your too tired then dont go

What Girls Said 4

  • You agreed to go to his company party 2 MONTHS AGO. Bailing on him in the last minute is kind of shitty.

    If he had asked you the night before and you told him you had a lot of work, then I can understand. But you KNOW your commitments and you agreed to go to his party anyway.

    I don't think it's asking too much for you to do something you have promised months ago. Having so much notice you could have made arrangements to get a day off somewhere in between.

    Of course he can't force you to go and you are definitely tired given how many hours of work you had/have to do. But ultimately, you let him down. I think this is very poor planning on your part.

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    • Look you don't understand my situation. I just can't get an off day at my job. That's not how it works there. If you can't work the days they tell you to come in WITHOUT a valid reason then it is grounds for termination. I have done so much for this man I have driven all across town for him the past few weeks while operating on 3-4 hours of sleep. He's being selfish and I can't put up with it anymore.

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    • I already agreed that I should have planned this better with another user. It's all about how you go about things. You don't know my life or my financial situation so please stop being so quick to judge. There are jobs that do exist like that however. When you work for a company whose supply and demand increases seemingly on a daily basis you either can or you can't. I work for a conglomerate company who can easily get away with things like this BECAUSE of their well known name. You your self have more likely than not bought a product from this company like almost every other person. Thanks for your opinion however. I appreciate the feedback.

    • I'm just perplexed at how an employer can't give you a day off when you give them that much notice.

  • Not really, considering that he asked you 2 months ago and he was most likely unaware of what your schedule would look like. He even told you that it's ok. If he asked too much of you, he would have asked you to come with him TODAY, and not two months ago. He also would have had to more or less beg you to come, and not taking no for an answer. So no, he's not asking for too much. I think you're overreacting.

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    • I'm still going... I think I stated that in the updte.

    • So? He said that he understands. I. e. that if you had said "I'm too tired to go" he probably wouldn't have objected or made a fuss over it.

  • He probably is upset that you're not going but that doesn't mean he's upset WITH YOU.

    Girl... take a nap. It's not the kind of thing that ends a relationship even if he's bummed. If he says he understands he probably does, but that doesn't mean he isn't allowed to be upset at the situation.

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    • I'm still going... I said that in the update. I'm going to get him to pick me up though. It would make more sense.

    • Ohh, I hadn't seen the second update.

  • If he is asking too much of you, you should have said no; he has no idea that you feel it's a burden, so he is under the impression that he's done nothing wrong, which technically he hasn't. If he pressured you into it, he'd be asking too much of you. But if he just asked you to come, then no, he isn't, because you could have explained your situation and said no.

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    • Umm... okay what's fine with me driving all across town after working 6 days straight? I mean it just baffles me that people lack consideration. He hasn't even stopped to think if it's a bit too much for me. That's my biggest issue for me. I'll have spent nearly 3 hours driving today on TOP of working 8 hours. Some things should be obvious.

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    • I asked him if I could spend the night at his house yesterday because the commute would be too much because he lives closer to my job. I could just drive to work from his place then come back change and ride with him. But he had plans last night so I couldn't. I did ask him short notice but the fact that I asked should say something to him. But it didn't. I don't have time to hold someone's hand all the time and explain to an ADULT MALE why what he is asking of me is too much. It's quite clear that it is... I'm just tired and irritated about all this.

    • I can understand that you are, but unfortunately, every person is extremely different from one another, and sometimes the most obvious things aren't as obvious to others, especially if their views are different. If you have a problem with it, my only advice is to tell him exactly how you feel, and ask that he be more attentive to your feelings; that way he can learn how you think and feel, and be more in tuned to your needs in the future.

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