Ladies, I need brutally honest critiques of a self description for an online dating profile. Feel free to be mean but please give me some ideas!?

Look, I may not be a ten in the looks department, probably about average. I also don't have a body builder physique, but I am fit. Honestly, I think, because I've been told by some female friends, I'm a catch. Yet I'm an epic failure at online dating, possibly because my profile is boring. This is what I'm thinking about using.

Headline: Music, guns, Harleys, and chivalry!

I recently left the regular army. I work and go to school full time. In my free time, I enjoy riding my motorcycle, guns, and music (okay, I don't actually ride guns or music because that would not make any sense). Oh, and I have a really corny sense of humor. I could probably spend hours taking about all of the other MANLY things I enjoy, but let's face it, you are probably no longer reading and I'm incredibly lazy at this.

My ideal match is a woman who is adventurous, laughs at my stupid jokes, and is okay with an old fashioned ( not sexist ) guy who holds doors open, is protective of the people he cares about, and sensitive under everything else. Also a pretty smile and eyes are a plus too - yes two of them.
P. S. Not interested in hookups or friends with benefits.

Okay ladies, tell me what you think, I can take it.

Things I left out because I think they would be a turn off or irrelevant - I've deployed five times to Iraq and Afghanistan. I have mild PTSD from combat. I finished my military career as a Drill Sergeant. I've been dumped twice while deployed.

Other things I left out - I like movies, reading, practice mixed martial arts, exercise frequently, volunteer to help troubled teens and struggling veterans, and love dogs.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ehm well a few things

    1) liking guns and motorcycles has some negative associations, it's better to bring that up later. Don't explain that you don't ride music, we know what you mean

    2) Cut all the crab about her not reading anymore. It's wasting lines, it's better to keep it short. Also it's boring because for some reason a lot of guys do that. Also leave out other jokes like the one about two eyes. If you're not hilarious, and you're not, trying to be funny comes across as weird or boring in dating profiles

    3) No reason to emphasize you do manly things. You know how they told you for job interviews saying you're i. e. disciplined isn't enough, you have to underline with examples. Just say what you do.

    4) You feeling you have to point out you are not sexist makes me think you are. And not sure about the old fashioned thing. While I think a lot of girls would like it it sounds a bit like bragging. LIke 3 find a more subtle way

    You're right to leave out the ptsd thing and any past relationships. I feel neutral about the Afghanistan thing. Things I would put in are practice mixed martial arts, exercise frequently, volunteer to help troubled teens and struggling veterans, and love dogs. And elaborate on some of them a bit. Like did you rescue a do? Do you compete with MMA...

    Also I think what matters most on dating sites is the picture. Not saying you're ugly but for some reason even attractive guys upload terrible picture to their profiles, so maybe look into that

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    • Okay thank you for this, I think it'll help. I read somewhere that women thought these kinds of jokes were funny. I've never tried humor in one of these before. The whole sexist thing comes from hearing some women talk about guys who do those things looking at women as the weaker gender. Never understood that.

    • I mean humor is good, but it's hard on a profile like that. In your case it's just don't funny. So go with the safer version

      I know why you put it in but it sounds a bit like saying I'm not racist but...
      About the old fashioned thing in general, as I said it sounds a bit pretentious. Especially the opening door thing

    • Yeah okay I see what you are saying and I'm thinking you are right. Thanks again!

What Girls Said 5

  • Basically: get rid of this "Look, I may not be a ten in the looks department, probably about average. I also don't have a body builder physique, but I am fit. Honestly, I think, because I've been told by some female friends, I'm a catch. Yet I'm an epic failure at online dating, possibly because my profile is boring. This is what I'm thinking about using." and put in this: "I like movies, reading, practice mixed martial arts, exercise frequently, volunteer to help troubled teens and struggling veterans, and love dogs."

    No need to tell women that you don't think you're beautiful (I'm not saying you should see yourself as the hottest guy on earth but having some confidence about your looks isn't bad either), but saying that other women see you as a catch is a bit too much, but that's all just my opinion.

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    • I thought that part in the beginning was just what he was typing as a 'I'm not sure what I'm gonna do' introductory thingy to explain what he was asking our opinion for? O. o :D

    • Oh, I just took the whole thing as his introduction text, whoops. Oh well, as long as the asker knows what I mean it's fine.

    • My bad, I should have specified it was only the second and third paragraphs that were the description. The rest was just background info for you. Thanks for your help though!

  • You kinda sound like the terminator.. if he didn't sound so robotic. :D --> the Harley's and guns thing.. yeaahh but anyways! :)

    I think everything you typed from the headline to the p. s bit was... relaxed, comfortable and honest? I mean i've seen some pretty shocking and suspect stuff but... either way, I thought what you planned on using is fine and amusing.

    In fact it was actually more than fine it was pretty chilled. I was half expecting (from the look of the question) something more terrifying like 'I want to love you long time' or 'hey baby'

    But, this was actually nice. :)

    Goodluck :D

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    • LOL at what you thought I was going to say. Thank you. But I need clarification, at the beginning of YOUR comment, are you saying that I sounded robotic or scary like the terminator? Because I'm worried I've failed before because I sounded intimidating. Also, combined with a decent picture, would this sick out to you? I assure you everything I said about myself is true.

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    • Oh yeah I get it now, sorry. Excellent movie, probably gonna have to watch it again now! I'm going to take your advice and if it works, I'll name my first born after you (although I think Uhmmm might only be a boys name...) Anyway thanks again. About the tough stuff, I've always believed what don't kill you make you more strong. No bitterness and no regret! Take care.

    • Ahahahahaha :)

      Glad you have a positive mindset.

  • Music, guns, Harleys, and chivalry? Sounds a little white trash. maybe use an euphemism for guns, like... "America" or something. And drop the over-eager exclamation mark.

    Say, "I'm a recent army veteran" sounds much better. I like the candid dialogue that makes you personable like you're speaking to the reader :P

    Don't say "is okay with", say... "can appreciate" or "likes", etc. Why would I be interested in something I'm only "okay" with?

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  • Ok as a female who met her boyfriend on a website, I would say agree with some things others are saying, but I think you should make/ keep your profile as true to you as u can. What you write and how you show your true persoanility is the best way to fiad a woment who you will click with well. Like if a female likes your profile how you like it there is more chance of a good match. If you change it to try to fit the type of women you think u want to attract or should attract successful match will be harder to find. Like my bf profile was lengthy and shoed his geeky, senesitive and persoanility. When i look back at it now a lot of the things on his profile that i liked are my fav things about him noew.

    Also thank you for serving out Country!! I love you for that!

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  • How did you get on with your online dating?

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