Sexually compatible but little interests in common?

Dating this good looking guy and it has been 4 dates. He's really nice to me and we also do very well in bed together. I didn't like him initially because I didn't think we had anything in common. I still don't think we do. We aren't connecting intellectually which was the most important thing for me in my past relationships. Don't mean he's less smart but he knows very little about the things I care about. Sex seems to be the main thing we connect with. 😐 He also messages with too much Internet acronyms and sometimes bad English . Should I give this more dates or get out before I get even more emotionally invested? Already starting to feel emotionally attached


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are feeling emotionally attached because you are having sex. That's what sex does. It was designed to bring two married people together even more intimately than when they were just dating.

    It is unfortunate you are using this most treasured tool, without making any sort of foundation beforehand.

    What degree of lasting happiness do you think you will achieve living like this? Sleeping with people who are essentially strangers? Where do you feel this will go in a year? five years? Ten?

    May I recommend something? Start with the foundation, first. Get to know him. His interests. What he enjoys... Spend months getting to know him. See if he is interested in your heart, hon. See if he is willing to man up and love you without sleeping with you. Many men are not.

    If you can wait until marriage, be chaste, and abstinent, you may just be rewarded with a life long partner and lover. True love brings good sex, never the other way around.

    There are no shortcuts in life.

    Everything has a price.

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    • Hi yes sex does get you emotionally attached. Thing is, so does intellectual chemistry. I have been in a relationship where it was all about intellectual chemistry and i wasn't attracted to the guy physically. That was a long distance relationship that lasted 2.5 years. I knew that sex wasn't working out when we met twice a year yet i held on. So is sex important? Hell yeah. I'm not waiting till marriage to find out he doesn't work in bed.

What Guys Said 3

  • You can either see and enjoy this as a purely physical relationship, or you should probably get out. If you can't separate sex from love, the latter is the best option to avoid you getting hurt or making things awkward.

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  • This is like making instant oatmeal with cold water. Sure you can eat, but there's some element that's missing.

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  • You are too old for this.

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    • Too old for FWBs? Pffft.

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    • I've been never been dated as a teenager. I'm not sure being indecisive is necessarily a teenage behaviour either. Doesn't one give one some time to get to know one another and before deciding there is potential? Also there is no age limit of on when one feels emotionally attached to another and needs to seek a neutral party's opinion. Acceptance of comes with through deliberation as well.

    • You are here because you don't see the potential. You are making the gap for him because the sex is good but there's nothing else there. You don't list off that he is a riveting man and a wonderful person or anything like that.

      Also, there is an age limit. A very real one. If you cannot manage your life by now realizing that all you want is the D then you're in for a hell of a ride because you're done maturing now. This is it.

What Girls Said 1

  • Why does it have to be something? Why can't it be a lovely little fling?

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    • Because I'm bad at flings. I can't detach myself from thinking whether something like this will go somewhere. Also I'll be wasting my time cos i am a one at a time kind of person. Can't date other people while being with a guy.

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