I only like the idea of him?

So I ve started to like this guy, I guess. Except I don't really feel like I like HIM. I feel like I like the idea of him. He is really cute and funny and nice. I don't know why I wouldn't like him. I'm just really confused. How do I start liking HIM as a person and not just the thought of him or the imaginary version of him I've created in my head.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You have discovered the secret of human attraction and error.

    So many women (and men) fall for the "idea" or a persona, and not the person themselves.

    What is likely happening here, is that your gut is telling you, he is not compatible with you... But you enjoy the act he puts on, who he might *want* to be. that is pleasing.

    But his soul, his heart, might not be something you can live with.

    Very good, keep listening to your gut, and differentiating who someone really is with who they want to be or who they project themselves to be.

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What Guys Said 3

  • What's the difference between liking "him" and the "idea of him" again? His personality IS the "idea of him". Unless by "as a person" you mean the way he looks?

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    • By the idea of him I guess she may mean either the idea of having a boyfriend or she likes him because of how she THINKS he would treat her?

  • Have you ever talked to him? I feel the same way towards a girl; but im ready to give it a try with her. Who knows? maybe we'll fall for each other in the end

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  • You probably like the idea of him because in your imagination he adores you, whereas realistically this might not be so tru. So you create a world with the most ideal outcome. A perfectly normal escape mechanism.

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What Girls Said 2

  • What 😐 wait.. now you got me confused.. His real right? Real like in real life?

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  • This is the initial stage of a crush... goooooood luck with that

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