What does it mean when a guy says it isn't you, it's him, but that he still loves you, but it's over?

After 18 months of dating he tells me this.

Updates:
ok, An update since I have posted this: The man in question that said that is now trying to get back with me. Should I try it again, or just let him go?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like your guy cares more about himself than he does you.

    It might sound like he cares about your feelings with the whole, "It's not you, it's me" bull, but in reality he just wants to be able to live with himself and be as guilt free from the situation as possible. He wants to look back on this break up as though he were the good guy, taking the heat for the break up, making sure you didn't feel at fault.

    The truth is made of two obvious facts: 1.) You didn't seem to know this was about to happen, you were taken by surprise. This means that your guy doesn't communicate. 2.) He doesn't discuss his underlying issues with you, therefore putting more weight on his own personal opinion and disregarding yours.

    It doesn't matter if it could have been worked out, it doesn't matter what the real reason was. This guy up and decided to leave you with no notice because he cares more about him them he does you.

    Who knows why he left. It does sound like it's over, but from the sound of it he knew it was over for awhile. Just move on and look forward to brighter days with someone who will care enough about you to communicate.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think he's a gentleman and trying to spare your feelings- maybe he just feels like he needs to be single again...I wouldn;t take it personally, maybe ask him exactly why he's ended things, though, just so you can get some closure xxxxx

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  • It means he has no idea how to tell you, and it isn't something wrong with you. Unless there is some fight or something, most decent guys don't know what to say at all. They don't want to hurt you but for whatever reason he wants to move on.

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