Will he mind if I'm 'fat'? False advertising in online dating?

Hi all. Need honest answers. I've been signed up on an online dating website for a while. The oldest picture I have on there is a year old. I'm naturally quite slender. However, I have been very ill the last two months and am on some serious steroids. I am quite literally double my usual size!!! It really gets me down. I'm bloated and well... big! I've only been talking to guys again on the dating site for about the last week and have a date with a guy tomorrow night. However, I'm really nervous about going. I never thought about changing the pictures and it's just hit me that I am now fat/bloated etc compared to the photos. Obviously it's not a permanent thing. When I stop taking the steroids the weight will come right off... fingers crossed. But do I tell him before we meet? Warn him as it were. Will he mind/care? Do I cancel? Just turn up and then tell him? Help!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The truth is nobody likes to be lied to. If the boot was on the other foot what would you thing. I'd explain the dealio before you meet, he'll probably think about it for a second, then still wanna meet you. Rather than it being a surprise and something you've kept hidden. You sound really concerned about your weight, it's not your doing so don't feel guilty because that's just ridiculous! You'll be aiight!

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    • *think

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    • He seems like a good guy... but what can you really tell from texts and phonecalls! Hopefully he'll be like you then :) And you're right, if it's an issue for them then he's not the right guy and someone else can get to have me when I'm thin and pretty again!!! :) Thank you again.

    • 'zactly! Someone who deserves you! All the best!

What Guys Said 5

  • I would tell him before you meet him. Be honest about why you look different and I'm sure he'll understand.

    If you don't tell him, it will turn him off when he sees you and thinks you've "lied" to him. Just be 100% honest. I'm sure he'll understand :)

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  • How much weight difference year to year?

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    • It's not been year to year. I'm 5ft 8 inches tall and have been around 140 for over ten years. It's literally just the last two months because of these tablets. It's a substantial difference But in a couple of months I should be my normal weight again.

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    • I think you would feel more comfortable if you warn him you've been on a medication that pushed your weight up temporarily. I doubt he cancels. He may be thinking he can date you and see and that's okay. Tell him, relax and try to have fun.

    • Thank you. I'm thinking I will text him in the morning and explain. That way he can make the decision. I won't be offended if he does choose to cancel. But at least he'll have the option and won't feel I 'tricked' him! Thanks again.

  • At this point just go and explain the situation.

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    • Should I just turn up and explain? Or should I text him first and explain so he back out if he wants?

    • I'd say just go. It's not like you got fat over many years. But send him a text if it will drop some weight off your shoulders (pun intended).

    • Haha!! Thank you. I think that's why I never really thought about it until tonight... it's all happened so fast and been out of my control. And is only a temporary thing. So all of a sudden it hit me that this is going to be an issue for him.

  • Cancel. Now.

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    • So basically he's REALLY going to care? That's what I thought. What reason do I give though?

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    • Oh! The blunt approach! :) Thank you.

  • Majorrrrrrr Turn off

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What Girls Said 5

  • Try to explain it to him. This is very complicated, and in general, most guys don't like that. Women don't either. It's just not good to hide yourself, even if it's just temporary.

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  • Yes he will mind. If I were you... I would put off the first impression. I know it takes a while to lose steroid weight, when will you stop taking them? Can you say you have unexpected family illness (yours) and you cannot meet him this week.

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    • I finish them in two weeks. I know it'll take a while to shift but I'm hoping it'll be no more than a couple of months. I just never thought at all about it until tonight!!!

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    • Steroids also make the face so bloated, but that goes away within days of stopping them. My son has an endocrine condition and has to take prednisone on occasion.

    • I've commented above. It's much more than 10 pounds gain. I have an endocrine condition too as well as an autoimmune disease and I also had cancer!! It's been a bit of a rough ride!!! But as I aslo said in one of my comments as much as I hate all this bit... at this stage I'm trying to think of it as a badge of survival. The last hurdle before the all clear!

  • I'd be pretty annoyed.

    You don't false advertise. You just don't.

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  • Yes he will mind and he will probably be scornful if you don't tell him before you meet in person.

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  • Probably yes. How would you feel if a guy lied to you about his weight prior to meeting him?

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