How to keep the conversation going without having those awkward moments of silence?

We have these long four hour phone calls and he's getting a little upset that I tend to run out of things to say. During the duration of the phone call in the beginning we are laughing and making fun of each other but when time comes to talk about each other I go quiet, why is that? It pretty infuriating and I am quite surprised that he's still talking to me. He said when two people talk each have to give there 50/50. I completely understand that but when the spotlight is on me, I go blank like I have nothing to say. When he's talking I add my 2 cents to everything. He is now saying that he can keep talking for so long and asking random questions will lead to nowhere. I told him I was tired since it was 2 in the morning and he said he'll text me. He told me goodnight, we'll talk later, don't worry about anything I said at all.
How the hell am I not supposed to worry? I am having complete anxiety over it because I think something is wrong with me? Why can't I open up, I do feel like it's forced but is that just the way I am? He constantly tells me I have to overcome it, I don't know how though. How do I reply back without sounding like an utter idiot.


Most Helpful Girl

  • LOOOOOL this is exactly why I avoid phone calls. I can talk properly in real life and through texts but for some reason - just like you - I randomly blank out during calls. We're just awkward I guess.

    Do you get nervous when you talk to him? Maybe that's why. I mean, you can practice talking on the phone to someone else, but you can't really change your personality so I can't think of anything you can do. :/

    • Of course I am nervous, I've only known him for 3 weeks. He doesn't seem to process that I am not an out going guy like he is. I can't form conversations with a guy I still consider a stranger. I feel likes he's pushing me too much to talk. I mean I do love our conversations but I hate when he puts me on the spotlight to say something. He constantly asks me to speak my mind and that's when I go blank.

    • Girl, as long you're nervous, you're going to keep stumbling over words and blanking out. The only thing that can solve this is time - and gradually becoming more comfortable around/with him.

      It's like being put on the spot in the middle of the class. The teacher consistently picks on you, and you eventually get used to it and respond accordingly.

    • Why would he say not to worry about it then?


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What Guys Said 3

  • just talk less then. you two are running out of things to talk about.

  • Cut down on the phone calls unless you have something to talk about.

    Go out and do stuff together - that way you'll have shared experiences to discuss, things will inspire conversation, and it's just... better.

  • He probably thinks you're not interested in the conversation which is why he brings it up. To answer the question though don't over think it just say what's on your mind.


What Girls Said 2

  • Keep a list handy

    • that'd be so sad hahah like a phone interview

    • Oh believe me I did, tabs and tabs of them. He called the basic 21 questions mediocre.

  • Maybe ask more questions about him, see how is day was, ask him what he plans on doing with his life.. Pick topics where the conversation would last awhile and then break off into convos about other things... I used to be the same way and that's how I lost many guys and then one day I jus loosened up and started to be more open.. Focus on him more

    • He has been focusing on him more, I have been asking questions about him. He wants me to open up and speak my mind, like what do I talk about. I am not really an expert at speaking my mind.

    • Tell him about your life.. Anything you feel comfortable with talking about. Maybe something embarrassing that happend to you, your plans in life, start out with simple things like favorite color, T. V. Show, movie. I just say whatever comes to my mind I always figure out what kind of person he is so the convos won't be boring or coming on too strong.