Dump your partner, or With hold sex to get what you want?

I have a good friend whose been in a relationship, with a girl who gained more than 60 pounds. Her thyroid is fine, she's able to exercise, and has a gym membership she pays for but doesn't use. He is a fitness model who has fit women, around him daily who wants everything to do with him, and he's been faithful, however, he has lost attraction to his longtime girl, and won't have sex with her until she looses weight. He's not attracted to her, frustrated, and tired of her illnesses' due to poor diet, and exercise. Given his situation with a woman who refuses to stay attractive for her guy, would you with hold sex, and consider a breakup? P. s. Yes they went to counseling but still the problem remain

  • Yes I would withhold sex, in hopes my partner would loose weight
    67% (4)0% (0)44% (4)Vote
  • No, I will love/ like you despite how unattractive you get because attraction is within
    33% (2)67% (2)44% (4)Vote
  • cheat with the hotties, and stay with your partner
    0% (0)33% (1)12% (1)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Didn't vote.

    I advise the fitness man to move on. Don't withhold sex. If forced she will be unhappy and look for revenge.

    Myself, I stayed with fat wife. She eventually lost some weight on her own. But it was a long time coming and is still chubby. But I signed on for better or worse and love her anyway. She did the same for me, I have plenty of problems, she stuck with me through hick and thin. That is what marriage is about.

    I shot this newlywed couple on their honeymoon at a mardi gras.

    She wears glasses, is an 'A' cup, has a few stretch marks and is a little chubby. I guess no one told her she was not supposed to get married.

    i1353.photobucket.com/.../...1-4mr_zps746ced66.jpg

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What Girls Said 7

  • There has to be some sort of attraction, for a healthy relationship. We should all want to look good for our partners (at least that's my humble opinion) and if she knows this is putting a strain in the relationship, she should definitely do something about it to fix it.
    I give the man a round of applause for trying to help her and being faithful, but she should make the effort of looking great for her man

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    • Love, your opinion, I agree, but, after awhile, I'd have to leave, because I think mu buddy is playing a game, what you think?

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    • Well withholding sex for manipulation is a game... I would hate if my girl did that to me, that's just cold!!!

    • I agree, but if the attraction is not there it's understood.

  • What would he expect her to do if the situation were reversed, but his weight gain was caused by an illness, should she dump him or refuse sex with him?

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    • If her weight gain was due to an illness, he would understand, however it's not, and he's frustrated because he feels he'd do whatever was necessary to get to happiness with her. He says, he does everything she wants except sex, because he's not attractive, oh and they are married

    • i think, regardless of the reason for her weight gain, hed still be in the same frame of mind, and find her unattractive

  • Thats there problem if they wanna be unhealthy or not. I can't be with someone thats unfit. Now if i met them when they werent fat I would excercive with them 2 help them get back in shape.

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    • Yeah, he has done that, but she doesn't stick with it, he believes working out, eating clean, is a lifestyle. She gets discouraged and binges, because of it, back problems arise and other things resulting in low sexual activity due to her health and his unattraction

    • if he's not attracted 2 her then just brake it off.

  • He needs to tell her straight up that he's worried for her health.

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  • Just tell her exactly how you're feeling.. But make sure she gets the point

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    • He has done this, but to no avail it doesn't work, he tells me, if I date and should I consider the one, I should find a woman who loves fitness as much as I do, so this problem won't arise. Me, I'd let her go, cannot be unhappy, withholding sex is cruel, and games I found mostly women play.

    • Well there must be a reason you're still with her cause you're not letting her go and at the end of the day.. Your happiness matters too

  • Why play games?
    Just get it over with and breakup with her.

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  • I chose none of the options since he has tried all options with her I suggest they break up they want different things now. And she obviously is fine with her weight and it's not fair to both of them. In my opinion there is no need to cheat ever he has voiced his thoughts still no results and she has the right to be fat I don't know why she would want to bt its her right.

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What Guys Said 2

  • If he hasn't done this already, This is what I suggest he do. He needs to flip that "I'm going to get me a sexy chick" switch back on. That means dressing nice every time he goes out, as if he were single, even if its just a quick trip to walgreens. Because the problem is, they've been together so long, that she no longer feels threatened by other women. So she loses that motivation to look sexy, if he wants her to get in shape and look good, he needs to give her a reason to.

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    • Also, he can't threaten her with sex, that won't do him any good. Because in a long term relationship/marriage, she knows that unless she is threatened by another women or a breakup/divorce, she is his only option for sex.

  • I would just leave her. (not in your options)

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