Why does the guy I'm dating so closed off with me?

Im fun and i try to have a good time with him but he's so closed off and makes me feel like something is wrong with me. he's soooo fun and talkative with frirnds but he's a completely different person with me. why?:(


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you are date mates, sweetie, he is shutting you out and not allowing him to be Up front and personal because this could be because if he starts to unleash everything Personal inside of him and his life, it would slap a title on the both of you by making this----Official. He may not be ready nor raring to do this at this point and time.
    Go slow with his flow at the moment. By nursing and nurturing something that you both have started, he may decide to open up more to you down the road.
    He feels comfy and cozy in being with these 'Friends' because they are No one he as to explain anything to nor answer to, just be himself and let his hair down with ease and no tease nor please.
    Let time be your guide and feel him and your situation out. If you see it is going down a beaten path, you can always bail out and find someone who is more into wanting the same things you do and right off the bat, think you are Ms. Right for him.
    No, nothing 'Wrong' with you, it's just his way... he isn't going to let anyone in if he doesn't feel he wants to make them part of his nest right now or them his business as well.
    And who knows... maybe he would prefer the more 'Quiet type' of girl who is boring and just looks at him having all the fun, while she sits in a corner... I know guys who are like this too.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Thank you so much for your answer!!! Yes i also feel that he doesn't want a relationship but him acting this way makes me feel like something is wrong with me. Thank you again!!!

    • You are so welcome... yes, sure signs for sure:)) xxoo

    • Thank you, sweetie, for allowing me to lend a helping hand in the man department.:)) xxoo

What Guys Said 9

  • And your interested in somebody like this? Have you spoke to him about this? I hope I'm not offensive here but, why would you continue a relationship with a man who closes himself off? He seems like he is not interested, looks as if he is behaving this way because he might end the relationship soon. Has this behavior just started to surface? I think we need more to make a good assessment for you, its hard to tell. You might have low self-esteem issues and interpret what you see from him differently then what you might if you were confident. I had a gf who said the something, but no matter how good I treated her, she wanted more therefore I was the bad guy. Just threw that one out there, well if you give me more information we might can answer the mystery of the universe together 😉

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  • Some people aren't ready for the closeness implied by a relationship. Some of them is still want it, so they so they try their hand at dating very cautiously, which seems to be the case with the dude you're going out. Some of them don't date at all, because they're too fucking terrified of the idea, such as I.

    All I can say is, if I was this guy, I would NOT want this topic being brought up. Give him some time, if he still isn't able to open up, then you're either going to have to deal with or reevaluate.

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  • maybe he's nervous, still hasn't gotten fully warmed up to you in his own way. perhaps instead of knocking on the door, you should try grabbing the handles and opening it manually.

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  • I honestly don't think he is into you! Men who truly like or love a woman don't close them off! Truth me told, I have dated women I wasn't into.. But I stayed for the sex! Also, a woman with low self-esteem, I can treat like shit, get what I want from her anyways so why not close her off? On the other hand, when I'm dating a girl I'm really into, I tend to be too nice, and she is a total bitch to! Either way, we can't win! He's into her but... She's into someone else! He loves her but she's in love with a married man! Lol and so is life. Its all a game! You find someone you love, pretend you don't love them. You might keep em!

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  • How long have you been dating?

    Is is shy or outgoing?

    Is he an introvert or extrovert?

    Bonus: which out of the last two questions are you?

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  • Girlfriends aren't the casual conversation type. Us boys are afraid that, and rightfully so, that if the wrong comment is made by mistake, we lose you forever. It's like a minefield, your world!

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  • He could still be confused on how to act around you. He is afraid he might do something that puts you off. So he walks on egg shells.

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  • I think he is obsessed with girls and his other friends and not the relationship you 2 have. if he keeps this up, make your move.

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  • he luffs u

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What Girls Said 12

  • My boyfriend is the same way except he apologized for being distant. Honestly, I think its because now he has to make himself vulnerable to get closer to you and it scares the hell out of him. My boyfriend said he has a problem getting close to people because of past pains so I persistently let him know how much he means to me, but I also told him he had to get his shit together and I wouldn't wait forever.
    Remember girl, a strong woman shouldn't wait on anyone but maybe you should try to get to the center of the problem. Why is he closed off? Maybe there is a reason why he is acting the way he is. There is nothing wrong with you, there's something wrong with him and he needs to tell you what that is.

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  • I think he really likes you and he is insecure about himself, so he is afraid of doing something and then you think "What is he doing?" or have a bad image of him. I think its completely normal, im kind of this too.

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  • Well you haven't provided much to know. If he's been like that for awhile now without doing anything in the relationship, that means he doesn't like u and probably wanting u to do the whole break-up thingy,. But of he happened to have went through a devastating life situation, something terrible, it would be just him not wanting to channel his depressive mood to u, because he's depressed and doesn't want to drag u through his depression, not knowing in reality ur also affected by it, that takes time to break but with persistence, you can break it. The third thing would be, he's probably wanting to tell something so bad involving him, or you, or both, either something bad that happened or some rumor, but he still couldn't find a way to tell u about it, that also needs persistence by trying to get him as comfortable with u as u can without sounding clingy and obsessive.

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  • Has he always been this way?

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  • Maybe you just ain't his type of funny!!!

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  • He's probably scared to act that way because you're his girlfriend and he doesn't want you to get wierded out. Just say "I'm always trying to have fun with you, why do you only hve fun with your friends?" If it doesn't change he's probably not the one for you.

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  • Maybe he's shy. Try talking to him about it.

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  • Look into the resp

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  • is he a shy guy?

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  • i think he is shy guy

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  • He doesn't care about his friends opinion, he can just be silly.
    He likes you and you're supposed to share a different kind of intimacy and, for him, probably a relationship with a more serious tone, so it's scary.
    Of course you're fun, that's why he's with you. It sounds like you haven't been dating for that long yet? Just relax and he will too. If you start panicking and inquiring him about it, then it'll be much harder for him to be himself. Give it some time.

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  • I had exactly the same problem, and I found out it was because he didn't know what to say to me and he was too nervous around me. we ended up breaking up because of it.

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