I'm distraught how can someone be so mean and inestable, I need you opinion please!!! :(?

I met a guy on a trip, we live on different countries (in south america and uk) and he seemed SO great, SO nice. We continued to chat for several months, I was blown away how sweet he seemed and our conv were great.. we really liked each other.
He told me all his bad experinces in love and how it destructed his self steem, and i really understood him. Then he started sending me messages while being drunk or videos too, so as i too have experiences of guys just using me i got worried and told him i was afraid that he was doung it too. H got really offended we didn't talk for two weeks, and after we continued talking he frinedzoned me and we continued to chat a lot, he even told me he felt we were going to be frineds for a long time because of how good we got along and ou convos were always deep and great. He then started showing he was really inmature, quite abusive, manipulative, (getting mad when i didn't have time to Skype or call him because i was studying, or always threatening to stop talking, or sometimes being quite rude)
I kept saing how much i really liked him despite he seeing just as a friend, but later when he saw i was moving on he told me he wanted me as his gf, and he really liked me and how he realised he wanted me. I told him we could try being together. The next day i asked him if he really felt it or was drunk talk. He replied one day later saying "drunk talk" . Why do you think he did such thing= it really, really crushed not only my heart cause he misleaded me, but my self confidence,,, how can someone be so mean, or cruel? opinions why he did such thing? i told him he was so disrespectful and mean, and i didn't want to talk to him anymore.. he just said "ok"


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Most Helpful Girl

  • A really similar thing just happened to me too. The guy kept saying he liked me but kept acting really flaky, it was so confusing. I think its usually because they are insecure about something or past relationships haven't worked out the way they wanted them to and end up taking their anger out on whoever they think will get hurt the most by it. Don't mind if you message me if you want to talk about it :)

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    • hi gabby. thank you for your answer, it helped me... i'll leave you a mssg tomorrow as i'm going to bed now! thanks for the offer, i would really like and will help me to exchange some mssgs :D

What Guys Said 2

  • The biggest warning sign is INCONSISTENCY. People who are honest and real will have a strong character of being consistent in everything they say and do.

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  • i suggest leave him because he dnt seem to be intrested in u

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    • yes, i said i didn't want to talk to him anymore and just blocked him. I really wanted to say so much things to him, and i could have been really hurtful cause i know his weak points.. but just wanted to keep being classy and better than him

    • message me i can help u friend ! :)

    • ou did the right thing !! if that guy is doing that then he dnt deserve you

What Girls Said 2

  • Stop talking to him. The truth about people comes out eventually. Sad that he wasted your time and how you cared about him but he's not worth putting in any more effort. You can find someone a lot closer and someone you could trust in person. Excuses get old and patience runs out.

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  • Sounds like he's very insecure in himself as is putting those issues on to you, which isn't nice. It all sounds abit childish to me. I guess you have 2 option.. first, if you really really really like this guy then be the bigger grown up person (cos clearly he isn't going to be) a take charge and say right lets give this a go and make it work and explain how you dont like it when he says and acts in certain ways etc. Second option is to realise that you are both living in different countries and chances of that working in your favour are very slim (harsh but true) and that if this is his behaviour towards the whole ordeal then it doesn't look very promising for how he would handle potential bigger issues should they arrive.

    Hope everything works out for you hun x

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