Need relationship advise (emergency)?

I broke up with my recent bf, and there was a guy (friend) who pressured me to get rid of my bf because he has no money, can't afford things like gas. so I did. guy all know me. friend makes move on me, we end up having sex. (I had intended to wait) "friend" says we're not just friends but introduced me as gf to his friends mom, dad and boss. they like me, according to him. I'm confused because this is almost and during the time I didn't know he liked me. I did not like the fact he didn't view sex as something 'special' to me, it wasn't abig deal, he had been with 10 girls or more before me. he did take me out to dinners and movies, but obviously I feel empty when he tells me it's "nothing". he drives me to work, my mother says things like 'he doesn't love you if he doesn't marry me". she says he played me because he still says I like you physically, and every day my feelings grow stronger. and tells me his vision of his gf waking up making him breakfast and he heads off to work and goes home. he says he has plans to buy a house in a few months. I feel unsettled because I had wanted to have time to heal. at times obviously I told him to stop because I didn't want to have sex. I was tired that night when I went to his place. I need help and seeing a counsellor soon. I don't think he's 'using me' but I feel he does not give a shit that I'm close to virgin or that it was special to me- that should be automatically enough to put me to gf status, why is it that he's not? I feel insulted and don't want to talk to him. today he said "I'm afraid of losing you" because my mother had been trying to take me to coffee. and told me he's a 'pimp' liar and doesn't give a fuck about me. she said he shouldn't just fuck you for free and then now pretend he's anything, he looks gross, he looks like he has a disease etc. this happened all in a week. the guy said he wants to see me tonite for coffee and tomorrow. he cancelled plans with his friends to be with me. what to do right now?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell him you need time. If he loves you he will wait, if he just wants sex, he won't.

    Time will give you time to reflect and will also prove what he thinks of you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Don't go and dump him. He told you to break up with your other bf so he could have you. He's using you just for sex and sex only. Again dump him

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    • thank you for not passing judgement on me. I have a lot going on these past few days so my mind isn't clear.

What Girls Said 2

  • I say meet with him. DTR, define the relationship. ask what you are, and where he sees you guys. If he doesn't say that he likes you a lot, that he enjoys your company and that he sees you in his future, then obviously it isn't serious enough for you to pursue. Also, ask about what the sex meant to him, and you can't really get mad at him (Especially if he's being honest) but make sure he knows that it meant a lot to you since you were a virgin. Let him know your feelings for him are very strong and if he isn't willing to put in the effort to construct a serious relationship, you're not interested in him.

    I would also say mothers tend to be right so make sure you take her opinion into account, but if you go through with having a relationship with him, def. bring him over to meet your mother as soon as it's comfortable to make sure she gets to meet the boy , and hopefully end up liking him.

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  • You got talked into leaving your boyfriend because he doesn't have enough money to do much with? Woah. News flash, a lot of young adults have issues with money right now in the economy. It's hard to get jobs, and have a stable income to afford much of anything. Good job. You left a guy because of money, and with a guy that wants you just for sex. Dump this new fool.

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    • yeah hold on before you jump and assume shit. there were other factors involved, his lack of ambition or goals in life, his lack of schooling etc. see if you like it when you have to pay and buy his food, get him a place to rent etc and drive him around till midnite. he drove me nuts at the beginning

    • Then how about you put all that into the question before saying you were talking into dumping him because he didn't have enough money to buy gas. Either way, this guy sounds like he's using you for sex. He doesn't sound like a winner, you may need to dump him.

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