What is meant by coming first?

You know how people ask who comes first family or SO? I never understood why one has to necessarily come before the other. Like why do people think that one has to come before the other
Doesn't it depend on circumstances and whose need is more important at the time? My other question is when people ask who comes first in which manner are they referring to? I just never had a situation in which one was pitted against the other? I guess my question is pretty much what is meant by that question and in what sense are they referring to when they say one comes first?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Family first unless you are married then SO.

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    • I wasn't asking who comes first. I was asking why people make blanket statements that one always has to cone first? First of all every situation is different so there may be times when a SO comes first and there may be time family comes first. Second of all not everyone gets married so what then even if they been together for Yeats and live as married they shouldn't ever put their partner first? After time I believe as two adults who love each other they become family. My bf and I been together almost 4 years and we consider each other family. When I say family comes first he is included in that category. You are alsp assuming everyone has good families or they are close to them that isn't the case for everyone. In what ways would you say family should come first?

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    • For me as well it is about who will be there for you. I know my family would have been. A SO that i wasn't married to might be close but i know the family would be there. I married in year 5 of my relationship and was engaged in year 4. Without marriage for me, it is still too uncommitted to put SO ahead of blood! At least for my family situation. The commitment changes everything though. Even after marriage though, i know if things went bad my blood would be there no matter what and even after a divorce. SO can leave, family is always there. Wife would be family for me though, not LTR GF.

    • Family coming first would be if family wanted one thing and SO another. i would try and make it work and compromise. I would try and get something that fits for both. I might choose SO if i was to move somewhere though and family didn't want it. I would be hard pressed though to go against family who i think have my best interests at heart. i would follow my best interests though if family disagreed but it would be a case by case basis. I would have to see the circumstances in each case.

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