I'm with this guy, we aren't dating yet because of distance. We are committed to each other, just not officially. We both hope this will change in the future.
He is a wonderful person and I love everything about him. The only thing is that occasionally he smokes weed with his friends. He isn't a stoner or pothead or anything, it’s just for fun with his friends.
I can't agree with this choice. Yes, I am educated on it and I know it’s natural, not as harmful as other drugs, etc, etc. He says that I’m not “accepting him for how he is” and that “he’ll never be good enough for me", but smoking isn’t a part of his essence or his character. It’s a choice that has serious effects on him and me.
I told him that I would never be in a serious committed relationship (meaning if he were to be my boyfriend) with someone who smokes or does drugs. Is this wrong of me to give him this ultimatum? Am I being too dramatic or controlling? I know this isn’t a huge deal for a lot of people, but it’s a big deal for me and I honestly can’t picture myself with someone who smokes. This is a deal breaker for me, no matter how much I love him. It’s the health risk, illegal act, and stigma that will never make smoking okay in my eyes.
What are your opinions on this? Am I in the wrong or being too controlling if I were to ask him to give up an activity he enjoys?
- Yes- Let him do what he wantsVote A
- Sort of- It's just for funVote B
- No- He should respect what you thinkVote C
Most Helpful Guy
Smoking pot is a choice, being in a relationship is a choice as well. If he wants to be with you he'll have to let that go, you are going to make compromises with him as well. If you really can't accept it, don't date him if he can't let it go. It's a habit that can be stopped but you can't force him to, however, he also can't force you to accept it.
To sum up, if you can't really live with it, you can't really live with him. If he can't let it go, he can't be with you. If you can't compromise willingly and he can't compromise willingly it will always be an unresolved issue in your relationship.0
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