Help! Spent 5months talking to this guy, now he says I may be friendzoned?

I have no idea what to do now. I met. This guy in July. Neither of us were ready for a relationship. He just got out of one and I was still recovering from my last. Regardless since day one we have been talking non stop, literally every day, throughout the day. We are very busy people, he has always made time to see me. Last September we for the first and only time talked about feelings. Didn't go into to much details, but made sure we were on the same page. Which was that neither of us were looking for a relationship at the moment, but when we were, if we were still friends, we could be in one together. Because we were not committed we were free to see who ever and do what ever we like. I personally wouldn't have minded the commitment with out the title, but he didn't and so I went along with it. I tried really hard to do everything right, so this time maybe things could work out for me. I have the worst luck, but tried to learn from all my mistakes in the past. I made sure to not come on strong, but still in small ways let him know he was important to me/ that I was thinking of him. I gave him his space, I wouldn't get jealous when he spoke of other ladies, I stayed confident. His actions towards me helped, for the first time a gentleman was making me feel special vs the other way around. Things were going well I loved getting to know him on all these other levels, found it to be good foundation. It seemed our friendship was being uped, we started cuddling after and sometimes instead of our hook ups, he invited me to a special event, I finally started to open up about my past. Like to me relationship seemed not to far away... then tonight, he warns me. He has been taking to another lady, they are hitting it off well, and it may turn into a bf/gf thing. WHAT? Is how I felt, and ill admit I freaked out a little... but now I don't know what to even make of this. Do I give up and just accept his friendship, do i try to win him over?

Also to make things worse, and this could be what has lead him to her... but I'm pregnant. Due to timing doctors think its his. But because we were not in a committed relationship, and I know he has slept with others when an old friend and I were hanging out, I didn't stop things from going to far... so it may not be


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't have much experience with relationships and such, but I think it would be wise to give him time. If he is still interested in you, then I doubt his relationship with this new girl will become too serious. Keep doing what you've been doing, maybe drop subtle hints, and see what happens!


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What Guys Said 1

  • since neither of you guys were ready for a relationship so i think thats the simplest answer

    • I need help with what to do though... this dude went from starting to call me babe (randomly) to hey I'm talking to someone else jus in two weeks

    • then tell him what his intentions... because if the feelings are not mutual and he's calling you babe already he maybe a creep or just want to flirt with you

What Girls Said 2

  • You didn't tell him you wanted the committment so it's your own fault that you aren't getting what you wsnt from him. You have to be direct with guys. He won't be observing you and thinking you're good girlfriend material because the arrangment wasn't a relationship. To avoid a mess just say what you want.

    • But I did tell him I was interested in being with him, just not at the time that we talked about it. I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship but wouldn't mind being in one with him. He was very adamant about not being available for a relationshp, so I didn't continue to press it. He has been very honest with me hence him "warning" me. So I figured when he was ready he would tell me

    • So you didn't clearly say that you wanted a committed relationship with him.

    • And he has clearly said that he doesn't want one so why wait around for him.

  • Just find a man who wants you. Let him be your baby's father? Screw this scattered brain fuck up... yeewww... No time to even consider him at this point. Let him move on and you should do the same.