Do men just find me undateable?

I've been single for about 6 years now. I'm super outgoing and friendly, I'm not unattractive by any means, and I'm pretty easy to talk to/get along with. I don't understand why it's so impossible for me to find myself in a relationship, let alone the beginning stages of dating. Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I went on a date, let alone got asked out. Do guys just find me unattractive or undateable? I'm just at a loss.

Updates:
I guess part of this is that men don't even approach me. I'm not one to be lame and just sit at home and not meet people. I like to go out and have a good time with friends and sometimes I do start talking to guys, but it never goes anywhere.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm going to assume that you are the girl nearer to the camera. While both looks attractive, the one mentioned, in my opinion has a more outgoing expression. I don't see any problems with that, some men just prefer not to date a high profile woman, others are definitely intimidated, some would blame "mixed signals".

    Have you ever met someone you are attracted to? Have you tried building connection with him? Some women are just too friendly, it is hard to tell if they want us and many men will just not try, afraid to waste time and prefer to go after 'easier' target, so to speak.

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What Guys Said 23

  • Hmmmm I don't know. Physically, (right or left in pic) both are gorgeous... meh, would really need conversation to notice anything wrong or just take Fry's thoughts as answer...
    cdn.memegenerator.net/.../50640520.jpg

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  • Hmmmm. . . sounds like you just need to circulate in a new scene. Meet different people than the ones you typically hang out with.

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  • I don't know shot in the dark but some women are to social and out going to the point where you feel like they are just being your friend. Udually when I feel someone is interested there is sexual tension but if the conversation is going really smoothly then there is none and I let it go... don't know if that makes any sense

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  • I would add that i am in the same way you are)) may i ask you out)? To be frank its really a good subject, you look great, and datable, in my opinion, I can't say why you are in this position at the moment, I dont know you well.

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  • Which one are you in the picture?
    I think both girls are attractive in that pic, you mention going out and having a good time with friends, where do you go? A club isn't a place to initiate a relationship, it's more of a hook up place. What do you do when a guy looks at you? do you smile, look at him then look away? Are your arms crossed it shows a defensive stance
    Also are you hooking up with guys or just haven't had any interaction overall

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    • I'm the redhead on the left and I'm not really the clubbing type. I do occasionally go out to the bars with friends and such, but it's not like an every weekend kind of thing. Also, I'm not really the type of girl to just hook up with randoms or anything. I'm over that type of mentality. I'm definitely a person to smile, be friendly, and reciprocate conversation. I just don't feel like I'm necessarily doing something wrong, I guess I'm trying to say. I feel like people find me as more of the cool chick they just want to be friends with and I don't really know why that is the universal thought men have about me.

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    • Just so you know not every is outright confident so some of them have to rely on some more gentle ways of flirting. Just so you know what to look for: If he maintains eye contact with you, goes out of his way to talk to you, tries to make you laugh, tries to establish physical contact (hugs, touches on arm/back, tickling etc..)

    • How do you react when a guy shows the signs you're looking for? Maybe I can see what's wrong

  • Haha! This is very simple. Your good looks throw them of and guys usually assume about hot girls that they're either already taken, or if asked out, they would reject them.
    Your good looks are a great thing, but at the same time they intimidate guys.

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  • Well you're definitely attractive, but not to the point where a guy thinks he has no chance at you (which isn't a bad thing). You say you've been friend-zoned a lot of the time, so maybe you're not giving off the kinda vibe that says you're available. So guys just keep it friendly because you might not be receptive of their advances. So give the best scenario of what typically happens between you and other guys?

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    • There have been plenty of times where I'll be having great conversation with a guy and we'll have a lot in common and such, but it just doesn't go anywhere. I'm not the type of girl to just hook up with a random guy, and I don't know if that's something that's pretty obvious so they just don't even attempt or what? I don't know. Maybe I just instantly give off a friend-zone vibe to guys? Honestly, I'm at a loss.

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    • Through work, school, friends, etc. I'm not the type that has to go out every weekend and "scope out the hotties" at the club, If you catch my drift. Haha I'm also not desperately searching for love either. I'm very relaxed when it comes to that and I just go with the flow.

    • Oh ok, well that's good you meets guys from all kinds of places and not just through clubs or parties. Your situation is very rare and I don't really have any answers for it. Just continue to be patient and some guy will eventually come as long as you continue to keep yourself out there. You're beautiful so you'll catch someones eye, best of luck.

  • You probably intimidate a lot of less confident men. Your flirting skills could be rusty too. Work on flirting, and body language.

    Of course you could just be getting unlucky and a lot of the men you've talked to are taken.

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    • I honestly feel like more times than not I get like instantly friend-zoned. I don't really get why, but it definitely can be frustrating.

  • you sound pretty inaccessible to me

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  • You're probably very attractive and have a confidence aura about you that simply intimidates a lot of men.

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    • I don't get that though. If I'm confident and comfortable with myself, shouldn't that be an attractive quality? I thought being insecure with one's self was a massive turn off.

    • It is, but too much confidence with good looks can intimidate guys who don't have enough confidence. Or maybe your flirting is rusty?

    • A lot of men are intimidated by a beautiful and confident woman, they feel like she is out of their league and what not.

      I'll be honest, I don't pursue women in bars that I go to from time and time and I never pursued women in clubs. I'm there to drink, dance, laugh and have some banter with the lads, meeting random women doesn't really come into equation.

  • Ask a guy friend irl from his perspective. You're above average in attractiveness and even average girls get approached tons. There is DEFINITELY something wrong here. Is it the way you dress maybe? Boring personality? I'd have to know you irl to answer that question.

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  • You look really nice but maybe you're just ugly? Or maybe you're really intimidating to other guys. Or maybe you're really annoying? Or maybe you're to good for them and they're shy or maybe you should look somewhere else. So many possibilities! Lol but I think you look cute XD

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  • I think that you are very attractive and you may seem unapproachable because you are so attractive. I agree with the comment made by one of the girls, if you see a guy that is attractive, walk up to him and start a conversation and you'll know if there is chemistry and ask him out. You may want to try guys that are a little older maybe a few years older than you, they tend to be more mature and approachable :-)

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  • It doesn't mean that it's your fault for being single. There just wan't anyone interested in you not because of looks but for other reasons. You just probably haven't met the right guys

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  • Why are you so familiar...

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  • Where's a pic?

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  • Maybe it's because you're outgoing that some guys feel that you might be easy to get? Just an observation.

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    • Being friendly and outgoing makes me seem like an easy score? I don't really get that.

    • Well what I meant was that because you're friendly and outgoing, some guys would think that you're friendly with other guys too and may not see you as girlfriend material as they may think you won't be loyal to them. Sorry if it doesn't make sense but it's how some guys are around this age.

    • That does makes sense. Thank you! I've never thought of it that way before.

  • Are you a virgin?

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    • No, but I don't really know why that's relevant? Haha

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    • Or do you just want us to tell you what you want to hear?

    • Like I said though, virginity wasn't even a part of the post until you brought it up. Also, I'm pretty sure I already told you I don't care if virgin guys don't like me because I'm not a virgin. There's no way I can change that and if they don't like me because of that then they don't deserve my attention in the first place.

  • when you are talking to someone you're interested in, initiate some physical contact. Guys need some kind of indication. Otherwise we just assume you are being nice. That will eliminate a lot of confusion.

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  • I am right there with you sister

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  • you are attractive, guys just scared to talk to you

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  • I don't understand it. You seem really nice.

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  • A picture would really make this easier, because we have to judge if your attractive or not... I guess

    Other then that, you haven't really given any solid info about your character or how about you look like

    Could many reasons why

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What Girls Said 4

  • I feel you girl, I have the same problem but you are better then someone else u have your life and life doesn't depend on guys believe me you are better without some asshole who would using you break you to pieces and after that leave u..

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    • Thanks girl! Honestly, I'm not one of those girls who needs a man to feel good about myself or anything. It's just been so long that I'm starting to think I'm doing something wrong.

    • @Asker no you are not just stop over thinking, there is nothing wrong on you, you have your friends, family so you don't need a man believe me :)

  • Read the book "get the guy" by matthew hussey. Such an awesome read. I learned a lot about men and what they want and how they view women and relationships.

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  • Ever tried asking a guy out? Usually the "best" girls are the ones that end up lonely since guys are too shy to approach them

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  • Maybe they find you too perfect and they just admire you from far?

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    • See that's just frustrating and annoying if that's the case haha

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    • See what's frustrating is that I am very outgoing and I have no issue with talking to people I don't know or talking to random people I'm around. So when I'm talking to a guy I find attractive and I'm having good conversation, I just don't understand why it never goes anywhere.

    • I guess they're expecting you to make the first move then... Beta males. :3

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