Can a guy who takes the time to really know you... just being using you to have sex?

I met a guy, we text and called and a week into it, we literally stayed up all night, talking about our families, our lives, deep personal things. Things we want to do, likes, dislikes, etc. By morning, there was this deep attraction growing and we knew it. He asked me to dinner for later that day and I accepted. We had a great time, laughing and he even sat directly next to me so to touch my hand and such. After, we decided to sit and talk a while longer before calling it a night. One thing led to another and we started to make out, mind you I am 45 years old and have not done this in over 18 years. So, I go back to his place with him and we continue to have deep conversation. I make it extremely clear that I am not a casual relationship type. I like him a lot. He too agrees that this is something more. We have an amazing, I mean over the top amazing sex and sleep in each others arms. Cuddling, kissing, back massage, all the above. I felt so special. We showered in the morning, sat holding hands and talking, long long hugs and kisses for a while before my leaving. He was on his way to pick up his son... so we headed out together, we stopped for coffee and once again, the small hug and leaning in for that kiss. He told me to drive safely and blew me a kiss and told me he would call me later. I text him, that I had an amazing time and I could not wait to see him again. Hours later, I get this bizarre awkward text saying that he didn't think we were a match and that although he liked me a whole lot... before feelings get in the middle, that it best we move on... I tried to ask for an explanation and or at least a face to face one and he said it would only complicate things more. What? Had I read this guy wrong from the start? I asked to be friends... nothing. He did however, apologize several times and said he was truly sorry. What the hell? I have and I mean never have had a one night stand! The ones I slept w/on day 1, ended in relationships! Can someone explain?

Updates:
Well the one night stand... got smart and called again. We had our second date last and plan to see each other again! Thank you for your input, But addressing Dudeman... guess this OLD girl stills got it! :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes its called advanced game

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    • Advanced game? What does that mean?

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    • Sweet Dudeman... I found commitment well over that age range and believe me once they are older than your immature self... it gets even more promising. Have a nice day.

    • Commitment means till death.

What Guys Said 2

  • its totally possible.

    "I will move mountains for that pussy"

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    • Note to self... stay away from this one... lol thanks for the comment.

  • Yes he could well be but a majority of players will want sex with minimal effort. If a player knows you're going to make him prove to you that he's serious about you he's likely to bail, but there are players who will stick around, tell you what you want to hear, they'll be that perfect man, you'll have sex and off he goes. m

    From what you've posted it sounds like you got played by an experienced veteran.

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    • Great... just great... Tu

    • There's nothing you could have done to prevent this happening unfortunately, men like this real are master manipulators, master tacticians. They take advantage of people's feelings and exploit them for sexual gratification.

      I would advise you to hold out next time because a week or two really isn't a long time. Most players won't want to wait a few months before having sex and withholding sex although not a full proof method of deterring players will be an effective method.

    • Thank you. Yeah recently divorced, so definitely need to learn how to play the game better.

What Girls Said 4

  • How long did u know him to get put out and be rejected the next day? I hope he catches genital warts from somebody else

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    • It was not long.. my regret.. but man he had me at that all nighter conversation. It is time to learn the new way of doing things. Back on the playing field after 14 years of marriage. lol... he is actually quite an amazingly handsome great body... sweet personality... I would have sex again... so lets not wish that upon him. I think I am just dumbfounded that he did it. Sucks

    • A very skilled playa indeed!

  • I'm sorry this happened to you. Yes you got taken in by a smooth player. It wasn't his first I would bet not his last. Put it down as a learning experience.

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  • maybe he called again to have some more but I doubt he is serious... I think u shouldn't have anymore sex until he knows what he wants unless u don't mind giving him without any comitment

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    • Just a second and third date... no sex. Thank you though you are right. But, so far so good.

  • Yes he took all that time to get what he wanted. He played you and now he on to the next. Sorry he dios you like that.

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    • Well, I guess if I had to have my first encounter with a one night stand... I picked a great one!!! It was amazing... tough to think it was only a one time deal... Oh well lesson learned.

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