Should you always get butterflies in your stomach to date someone?

Or is that just a childish thing.

For me if I don't feel nervous around a guy I won't want to date him,. but unfortunately I don't meet many guys who give me butterflies even though I meet a ton of attractive guys.

So is this childish?

  • Only date when you get butterflies
    72% (64)48% (32)62% (96)Vote
  • It's Childish
    28% (25)52% (34)38% (59)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You can get butterflies.
    But even if they are there, don't expect them to last very long.
    Feelings change and progress over time.
    Not to say you lose feeling for the person, but emotions go through many different phases.

    If a guy treats you right, you feel you get along well.
    Why would you stop dating him because you don't feel butterflies?

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    • Definitely as long as they are there in the beginning.

What Guys Said 22

  • I think you need to find the idea of getting physical with them appealing. If not, don't waste your time. If yes, you can see if butterflies develop, or not. Butterflies when you just meet someone are... based on your idea of them, not who they actually are.

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  • A woman once asked me if she gave me butterflies in my stomach. I said "why do you want me to cough one up?"

    It didn't work out though. I wouldn't base it solely on that feeling. In fact, I don't like to feel nervous around the person I'm with. I prefer to feel relaxed and at ease where I can be myself.

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  • ARGHHHH I hate when women do this. Sometimes butterflies take time. Sometimes butterflies are a virus that just gives you diarrhea and has nothing to do with dating.
    If you meet and feel a connection with the person, then go out again. see what develops. My gut is usually right so I follow it. If it seems wrong, I don't pursue her..

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  • If you had butterflies in your stomach, you'd die

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  • You should have that butterflies in your stomach feeling. It is a signal letting you know that that person is of value to you.

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  • Not necessarily, you may like someone enough to where you want to date them. Other than that you don't have to "get butterflies in your stomach" to date someone. If you do than go ahead, but remember its not a requirement.

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  • It's childish. You'll break up after your relationship starts with this mentality, because butterflies don't last forever.

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  • Not at all. Just like you have I seen many attractive girls and they have been very hot too, but there is just one girl I that give me butterflies. I am never nervous about her, but I truly have fell in love with her.

    I don't think it's childish and you should go for it and date him. ;)

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  • Butterfly's translation= your gut saying mine, you're mine!

    This can/ usually happens a couple of meetings / dates in.
    Love at first sight is pretty rare.

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  • Yes and no they can be good and bad good cause stressing makes you be more cautious bad cause you might choke up and not know what to say and they might think you are just not interested.

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  • When first meeting a new person, no I wouldn't expect the butterflies. We just met after all. But after getting to know them for a little while and the attraction/flirting builds thats where I could start getting some butterflies because now I like this person and want to do my best to win her over. That gut feeling is telling you something is special about this person and I want to know more.

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  • Not at all! Once you get to know a person, you might think, oh my god, I love this guy!

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  • Most of the time.

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  • Yes i do get butterflies when dating someone

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  • you need an older date.

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  • It's normal, even with many years on the odometer.

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  • Never had butterflies before.

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  • Depends if you are expecting to drop your panties, doesn't it?

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  • yes... it's what love is :)

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  • Nothing like basing all of your decisions on transient emotions. Really solid foundation.

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  • That is a stupid reason to have a relationship with anyone. The question is offensive to me.

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  • You should get a feeling that's not quite butterflies but is kind of like that you should feel good when you're with them but I know the feeling you're talking of and ya that's why I've had a lot of girls but not a lot of girlfriends because I've only had that feeling once with a girl :) so I know what you mean

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What Girls Said 22

  • The way I see it is that as you get to know the person, the butterflies will get less. I think it's a good thing because it means that you are attracted to them, but nervous about making a bad impression on them. I like this guy that I have become friends with for over months and I sometimes get butterflies before seeing him even though I'm comfortable with him. The butterflies are good, but you do eventually want to feel more as you get to the know the person. I would go for it! I think it is worth following!

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  • Personally, i liked guys in my life and i didn't have any butterflies and that is not a problem if you're going to date them. Mayb elater you'll get them but it really depend! For example, at the moment, i am really into this guy, and whenever he shows up at first, my heart races and i get super butterflies, but its not a requirement!

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  • I think that butterflies are a good indication that you really want to be with the guy. Even more factual, when I get butterflies, it means that I want that person to like me and I want to impress him. So yes, when you have butterflies in your stomach, it means that this guy is special. Date him for sure!

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  • This question needed more than just two options. Sometimes you do not get butterflies right away. For me to get butterflies, I need more than just a physical attraction to someone. I tend not to date someone before getting to know them on a friendly level first. I do not date people simply because I find them physically attractive. I have to be attracted to their personality or it just does not work. I was not physically attracted to my current significant other when we first met. I thought he had pretty eyes, but nothing more than that. Once I got to know him- I am talking deep intellectual conversations as well as casual encounters filled with fun and laughter, I fell in love with his personality and began to find him more attractive. Now, all he has to do is look at me a certain way or simply brush his hand against mine and I feel sparks and butterflies everywhere. So, I sometimes it takes time. However, if after a while, getting to know someone, if you do not feel that kind of chemistry, maybe that person is not the one you want to be with. Some people do not need that and to be honest, a lot of times, the butterflies fade. Sometimes you get lucky and find that person who can still give you butterflies or make you feel that spark after a lifetime of being together.

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  • I had butterflies (even if we were cuddling or talking!) with my boyfriend but it eventually wore off after a few months when we became comfortable with each other and the honeymoon period went. He was the only one who I got them for and he turned out to be my soulmate. :)

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  • in my opinion i wouldn't say childish, just maybe unrealistic. the man of my dreams today was just a third option when i first met him. how horrible does that sound? but its true. when i was single i was talking to all sorts of guys, during this particular December month, i was talking to 4 guys. one i was crushing on so hard, but he wasn't that into me. and the second always kept me at arms length, My everything (my number 3,) was not even all that cute to me. just an "uh i guess he'll make a good friend, someone to talk to get insight on a man's mind" and 4 was just a booty call when he came into town lol. well come acouple days before Christmas , my son was with his dad that year, i was totally lonely and depressed so i tried to spend the evening with number 1. but he was 'too tired" to hang out, 2, totally ditched me last minute, and 3 ended up having to come rescue me because my car wouldn't start. it broke down at Barnes and Noble. lol. and finally as 3 was helping me, 1 decides to text me to see if i would come hang out. to which i lied and said i was babysitting lol. anyways, from that point on, # 3 never left my side. and i never wanted to leave his. he is my everything. he gives me butterflies today. maybe not when we first met. but i hope he continues to give me butterflies forever. ;-)

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  • I have been with the same guy for a year and two months now, i still get butterflies. So no it's not childish or only when you date. When you get butterflies all the time with the same guy, he treats you right, and makes you laugh. then you have found the guy you are meant to spend the rest of your life with. Good luck.

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  • I think only date when you get butterflies because it'll give you a feeling this person is great and maybe your relationship will long and it would make you happy (♡˙︶˙♡)

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  • I think what is important is to at least feel something. I've only has butterflies once but the guys I feel the most for after seeing then a few times didn't give me butterflies, rather, a huge amount of apprehension with some level excitement. Go figure.

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  • Rehearse what you are going to say to the boy a couple of times in front of a mirror, then say it as though you were acting a part. We all get butterflies. He gets butterflies too. After about five minutes the butterflies turn into caterpillars and fly to a far away tropical country where they run out of steam.

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  • No. If you think you're still going to get butterflies in your stomach after being with someone for years, then you're seriously deluding yourself and setting yourself up for dailure. Date someone you like. It's unrealistic to think that you're always going to get that same feeling.

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  • I'd say so, i mean if you dont get butterflies around the person you like initially then do you really like them?

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  • I like a feeling of anticipation... but that's usually after a really good second or third date as I look forward to the next. First dates are rarely an indication of anything good or bad in my opinion.

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  • I think butterflies are more nerves as a kid, but definitely you should be excited (overly excited) to see somebody you're dating & the anticipation should come into it! And you should also want to tear their clothes off..

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  • I don't think it's childish or the only time you should date someone. I think it's an autonomic reaction when anticipating a new love interest ( for some people ).

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  • When I first met my current bf, he didn't give me butterflies. I never even had a crush on him. I believe I gave him butterflies though. I grew into loving him and it's the healthiest and most stable relationship I've ever had. I am very happy with him. It's normal to expect butterflies, but don't assess the relationship's potential solely on whether or not that person gives you butterflies.

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  • Go on a date or date him?

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  • I think you should. It tells you that the person is worth getting all nervous for

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  • Butterflies are awesome. I've only felt them with one guy, who I still have a crush on for about 2-3 years.

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  • All the guys I have dated gave me butterflies. Nervousness and butterflies are different tho.

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  • I think that butterflies are a good indication that you really want to be with the guy

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  • Most dating advice says to date without butterflies, as they go away pretty quickly.

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