Is he upset with me because I didn't spend the night? What should I do?

I've been talking to a guy that I've known for a little while now. Everything was going great. We were hanging out and talking to each other a lot. One day things got intimate between us and we ended up having sex. Afterwards he still kept talking to me, nothing changed. A few days later it was night time and he asked me if I could spend the night. I told him that we could see each other the next day because I normally don't spend the night at a guy's house unless we're in a relationship and that I don't want to be used as a bootycall or anything like that. And he said his ex kept coming over his house unannounced. I didn't want to be over there and she came by or something. Ever since that day he seems different. Like I have a feeling that he's upset that I didn't spend the night. I hear from him less. I know we had sex already but I felt like if he wants to have me spend the night then we should be in a relationship and I like him so I want to be sure that I'm not a friend with benefits. I told him this and he said he's not mad and that he understands. But I feel like he's upset and he has been communicating less. I haven't seen him in a week. I asked was he ok or if he didn't want to talk to me and he said he's just been really busy. I'm scared that he's just going to disappear and not want to see me anymore. I don't know if I'm starting to panic or if it's possible that he's not into me anymore. I don't know what to do. Should I stop texting and calling him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're already his booty call. And you were right not to stay the night. He's just mad because he's not getting commitment free sex anymore. You should go back to being friends who don't have sex and then start looking for other guys to date.

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    • I see. ... so you don't think he ever liked me at all?

    • I don't think he liked you enough to date you. If I was hooking up with a girl, I could be extremely affectionate and want her to spend the night, but not date her and not make her my gf. Sorry if I'm being too blunt

    • It's ok. Thank you for the input.

What Guys Said 2

  • You're already his booty call. If you don't want to be one, then don't have sex with a man until you're in a relationship. I don't understand why that's such a difficult concept for some women to understand.

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  • Wait you had sex and you're not sure you're in a relationship?

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    • I guess I should have waited to have sex until I was in a relationship. But I'm not unsure about if we are or aren't in a relationship. I know that we are not in a official relationship at this moment.

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    • That's true. I shouldn't focus so much on it. I guess what's meant to happen will happen.

    • And then you move in with your life.

What Girls Said 1

  • If -and IF- he is not interested in you just because of that one night you didn't sleep with him, then he definitely doesn't deserve your attention and, as you said yourself, you don't want to be a friend with benefits which is just exactly what he'd be looking for IF he is actually mad. I'd wait a little longer, though, to see how things turn out because it's still very recent. Don't be pushy and try not to think too much about it cause, as I said, if it doesn't work out later, he wasn't worth it.

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    • That's true. So do you think I should just stop texting and calling him? I don't want to keep being pushy like you said and I don't want to text only to be ignored.

    • I'd recommend you not to text him but, of course, if you start feeling the need to (in case you like him too much and feel bad not talking to him) do it but only when you really need so. To sum up, I think you should restrain yourself as much as possible. Try to wait for him to text/call you first, if you can.

    • Yea I think that's a good idea. It will be tough for me not to text or call him but I should restrain myself.

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