Could you date a girl/guy who resembles your past?

Like, if you've changed over the years, could you date a girl/guy who is what you used to be? In my case, drinking and smoking a lot but I don't do that anymore.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, the dynamic would be all wrong. I'd be trying to help them change, and end up as more of a counselling/preaching figure than anyone datable.

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What Girls Said 20

  • My past is freaking awesome, so yeah, I could - and am. My boyfriend has been in my life since I was 14 basically. But if I had a bad past then I'd probably steer away from someone who represents it.

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  • my past isn't that terrible compared to most, but id definitely have my doubts. not sure if id take that risk.

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  • NO. I have BPD, and I hate the girl I used to be. I've come so far I'm almost a completely different person now.

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  • Can you? Yes. Should you? Probably not. I'm assuming you gave up all the drinking and smoking for a reason. Family, friendships, and especially relationships influence us and our decision-making. If you date a girl who drinks a lot, smokes, or maybe even does drugs? She's more likely to pull you into that lifestyle than you to pull her out of it. Not to say that drinking or smoking is morally wrong, but I think it's important to be with someone who has the same interests/standards as you.

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  • Depends on the case I'm sure. If they do something destructive that you used to be part of then no. You might get dragged back into that. But if it's something little or a bad habit, maybe. Just try hard to keep up with yourself. In your case, I don't know if I would deal with that. Might be an urge to drink or smoke again.

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    • You're right. I'm gonna avoid her unless she's willing to be the one to change.

  • my past is pretty tame and judgmental. I've loosened up a lot in the past 2 years. Now I can't stand judgmental people. So I guess I wouldn't be able to?

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  • ... my past was anime, cartoons, videogames, music, and naps... lots of naps. I would definitely date a guy like that.

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  • My past consisted of a lot of sex (while single so I wasn't cheating) and I had a temper, so no I wouldn't date the past me. I would date the present me though:)

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  • I don't think so because if I changed (for the better), I had a reason to go forward. I'm truly a believer that the people you associate with have a great affect on who you are and going backwards is redundant.

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  • Nope, I don't like who I used to be.

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  • No I wouldn't
    I like to date someone who is positive

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  • No i couldnt, it would just lead me back to my old ways

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  • Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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  • No that's not good they could easily get you into the pattern of drinking and smoking again and it isn't worth trying to get them to change because it wouldn't be for them it would be for your own craving to need them

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  • I would only take the risk if I really liked you. Some people's past is too hard to get over so having that brought back to them might not be the best

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  • Yes, similar but better personality. I have a certain type I like so

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  • No I would never date anyone that resemble of an ex of mine

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  • Hell no man! Seriously stay away unless your looking for self-distruction. Answer my Q please ^^ Ty

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    • what's your q?

    • Go on my profile hun you'll see it. I post it as anonymous by mistake I don't know if it would show

    • That's why I can't see it. You'll have to post the link.

  • You have to be ANON to ask this? Really?
    I only go ANON if answering ANONs by the way...

    If it were bad habits like yours, NO WAY, stay away bad habits
    but that said, I wouldn't avoid strangers in passing, especially if they were smoking fine tobacco (rare these days) ... I might linger a bit in that 2nd hand smoke then rush off.

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  • Hmm. Perhaps you are attracted to them because you were there once. I have always learned that often, God points us to someone who needs our strength. If you really like them and see potential, don’t judge them, but certainly be aware that they may not be as willing to stop and that would be a future discussion to have sooner rather than later.

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What Guys Said 5

  • No way. I've seen girls who remind me of past girls that have left me negative and whilst they may be very hot I just can't do it.

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  • I've changed for the better for sure, but I wasn't terrible then either so yeah I could.

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  • well humans are creatures of habit. if you date someone who does the things you use to do, unless they are willing to change, you will end up doing those things again.

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  • Nope though I have never drink or smoke or done drugs.

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  • No I wouldn't.

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