Oh my god I slept with 16 teen year old help im in trouble?

im 21 I was at this party at my friends house. And i got really drunk and high just weed and something my friend gave me. He said it nothing that I'm gonna o. d on you know. I took it I felt normal for the first half hour. But I kept drinking.
I saw this girl I danced with her and talk while. And i made out with this girl and i felt her up. and we did oral. I think. i found out because I took. Her to my friend bed room. And when I woke up I found her wallet it has a school I. d it say she in the 11th grade.

I'm shitting my self right now. I bearly remember her face. Only cause her I. d and even still. My friend told me to relax that could be old. She could be like 20 or something. I asked him did he think she 16 teen did he see. Her. He said he wasn't paying attention to me at the party and laughed.

so I left his house and cried at a bus stop. What do I do. I'm not friend with Jake anymore. It seems like he didn't care.
am I going to prison. I'm in college. I'm about to graduate. I don't even do drugs like that. It was just this one time you know.

Updates:
I told my sister she 15 and she called me stupid and yelled but I don't wanna hear that now. I get paid this Wednesday. And I got about 1500 saved up. I'm thinking about leaving. I mean her school is pretty close to where I live. What if I see her and she trys to say I raped her like u guys said or what if her parent found out or something. i need to pack right
I keep talking to my sister. And she yelling and all I'm thinking is how'd this girl get to this college. Party any way. Where are her parents. Shouldn't they be held accountable. I mean it was like 1 in the morning and stuff. I don't know when I passed out or when she left but still. My sister is saying I should get a lawyer. Or be ready for the consequence and I should pray. I am does any one here think it was. A accident. Please I need to know that people out there won't witch hunt me

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Most Helpful Girl

  • first of all, did you look at the school id properly? It might be an old one, I still have mine in my wallet and I'm 21

    Second of all did you check the laws, because 16 and 5 years difference might very well be legal.

    Thrid of all. you're not in trouble unless she presses charges for statutory rape, which she might not do. If she does might be able to argue you with her at a college party, drinking and such you had reasonable base to believe she was over 21 or at least over 18.
    You can get a lawyer if you want, but unless she presses charges there is really nothing they could do.

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What Girls Said 10

  • technically you did rape her, but i can't really judge you solely for this, both of you did something really stupid

    i dont want to take sides but to take it safe i suggest you get yourself a good lawyer, you should explain the situation to both your parents and your lawyer and try to have a civil debate on how to proceed

    in my opinion there are only 4 ways to safe yourself, 1 is to compensate her but theirs still a high chance of her demanding more, a good way is to go to court and settle the case by payment, if both parties agree the judge will allow it

    2 is to go to court and defend your case against hers, this can be difficult and costly if it drags on for too long but it should work, you can also appeal to reject your obligations and rights to her child if she ends up having one with your genes

    3 is to appeal to her parents and explain what really happened (because these cases very often becomes twisted by the aggressor - the girl, to favor herself), and then try to reach a mutual decision that will be acceptable to her parents

    4. is to take the initiative and sue her for allegations to having raped you (of course everything you'll say in this case will be fabricated to favor you, it will be a very grevious bloody case and the outcome is very unpredictable and is severely ill advised), you can also try to appeal to the judge but most judges nowadays aren't that corrupt

    note, i'm not taking your side at all, in my opinion you did something stupid and terrible, but you're just as much a victim as she is, and both of you need to reach a mutual consensus in order to solve this.

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  • In all honesty... What CAN you do? She's gone now. I'd just chalk this up to the many mistakes in life and learn from it. Never do it again. You'd be digging a huge hole for your self by just going and saying to her parents or her that you weren't aware of how old she was when you two had sex... Whose going to believe you. You shouldn't have even told your sister. I mean I know this is terrible however it was a huge mistake. The girl probably was high/drunk her self and more likely than not can't recall the night either. I don't know it's really hard to say what to do in this situation.

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  • Damn... be careful, remember kids are using fake ID's could land you in trouble does she know your name? Or knows you?

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  • Face the conseqences of your stupid behaviour.

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  • You did rape her. She is a child.

    Give her the 1500 as compensation, tbh. That's probably the best thing. Afterwards, well - you can never atone for this unimaginably evil thing you have done, but you can make sure you never do it again. Stop drinking or learn to fucking control yourself (or castrate yourself if you really think you can't). Accept blame for it (stop blaming your friend), and probably accept you're going to hell too.

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    • She's just as much to blame as he is. She never said no or stopped him.

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    • Don't tell people who've gone through tough times "you need help". I know you think that's being helpful, but it just comes off incredibly condescending, and passive-aggressively undermines their credibility.

  • Well..., I'm 14
    And if I was 16
    And pet with a 21 year old
    I probably won't tell
    And Ill try not to get him into trouble

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  • Ok that's not right honestly you shouldn't habe gotten drunk in the first place so change your priorities find the girl and say your sorry and leave her alone after that

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  • Vaginal inter course?

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    • No I didn't have sex with her. I just did thing with her ya know. I really. Don't remember having sex but its a possibility. Maybe I hope we didn't and I psyching my self out. I remember kissing her on the bed and I went down on her. And she did the same. In the morning I woke up with my pant down and my ass showing. I'm sorry for the story in just really scared

    • Ok you need to relax. Nothing happened. Do not leave. Go to school. Can you talk to your parebts? I can assure you the girl won't say anything. If you act like you're OK so will she.

    • Please relax.

  • This is so silly! if you guys are in touch then she would probably get with you or charge you! otherwise not to worry! its fine! you forgot her face and i am sure she did too! LOL move on

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  • 1. She propably won't tell
    2. Often the age of voncent is 16 so its not illegal

    3. Idiot, you agreed to drink and smoke weed and went crazy. Its not your friend's fault. It's yours, you agreed to do that shit.

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    • Completely agree!!! Idiot!!

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    • @gagaqueen that is true. Still, you can't put all the blame on her. We're all responsible for out own actions. believeing anything else is just immature.

    • They are both responsible. Both equally. Not just the girl nor just the asker. 50/50

What Guys Said 10

  • You're fine. The legal age of consent is 16. The exception is if both people are under 16 years, which does not apply here.

    Whether she decides to claim rape or not, well, you don't have a crystal ball to know.
    It is likely she will not, since she does not have any particular reason to do that. You mentioned that you guys were dancing, groping each other and doing oral before sex. Those are not signs of objection or rejection. And if you were doing that in plain sight of others at the party (minus the oral), it does not suggest she has any malicious motives.

    Sleeping with a 16 year old in itself isn't a crime.

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    • speak for your own country, you don't know where he lives. It's certainly not true everywhere

    • Your point is generally irrelevant. I assumed 16 which is in Canada. This age of consent is actually much higher than most countries.

      In the US, age of consent is 12. Japan is 13. China is 14.

      So pretty much unless the asker is from Iraq, this girl was fair game.

      I assume Canada which is 16.

  • Depending on which state you live in, this could be a serious issue.

    Here is the reality. You were at a party where a majority of the people were likely over the age of 18. You were attracted to a girl and started chatting her up. One thing led to another and you had consensual sex. You know there are teenage girls that look and dress like adult women that hang out at adult parties. You have to be careful. Especially when drugs are involved.

    11th graders are normally 16 or 17. Where do you live? Most states age of sexual consent is between 16 and 17. I'd check the age of sexual consent in your state. You likely didn't break any laws.

    I'd also try to get some of the facts of this night from people you may have known at the party. Did anyone see you two talking? When did you leave? You definitely need to figure out who this girl is. Did you exchange numbers?

    If it happened how you explained it. It's likely this girl was knowingly attending a party with "older guys" and is completely comfortable with the sex that occurred.

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  • Just try to forget it because you can't be arrested as she is 16.

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  • dude don't worry you're not gonna be arrested for this... she's 16 not 6.

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  • If you are in the United States, age of consent is 16. However, if her mental status was altered due to intoxication, you can be accused of rape. Not because of her age, but because she was not in the competent state of mind at that moment to consent.

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    • Oh my god. Are sure

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    • It depends on how drunk she was. If she was conscious enough to suck your dick, you probably won't get charged with rape, though very conservative or very liberal jury members might vote for it anyway, but I think the majority of people would be on your side. There is something called the Romeo and Juliet laws, which allows someone to sleep with someone underaged so long as they aren't more than a few years younger, though your ages might be too far apart for that. Age of consent only applies to to those who also meet the Romeo and Juliet law requirements. A 30 year old would not be allowed to sleep with a 16 year old.

      My advice: talk to your parents about this, but stay away from the girl (and maybe the friend who hosted the party). In all likelihood the girl doesn't know who you are and just considers the night to be a good time. It is unlikely that she will seek you out to charge you seeing as she was the one who sucked you off. Still, be careful about who you sleep from now on.

    • While Close-in-Age exemptions exist, those only apply if one person is under the age of consent and the other is a reasonable and relatively close age difference apart. Once the person reaches the age of consent, he or she is able to consent to anyone else who has reached age of consent. That means in states where the AOC is 16, any 16 year old can lawfully have sex with a 60 year old.

      Colorado, for example, age of consent is 17. But if the minor is at least 15, he or she can legally have sex with someone no more than 10 years older. That means a 15 year old can sleep with a 25 year old.

      Someone with altered mentation can still have motor function, but may lack the ability to make rational decisions that someone would make if they were not under the influence of an intoxicating substance.

  • You'll probably be ok, so long as she doesn't do the woman scorned thing and cry rape. Just chill out, take a deep breath and try not to worry about it.

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    • "cry rape" she's a child

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    • I don't think most people in their early 20's are capable of making competent adult decisions. I say people to clarify I mean boys and girls since this is relevant to both sexes. However, if your country's age of consent is 13, then in the eyes of the law the people in your country agreed upon a 13 yr old is able to consent to sex.

    • 16 isn't a child. 13 isn't an adult but it's certainly not a child.
      So long as the chick stays cool and doesn't get all pissed off at him, he'll be fine

  • I knew someone who turned 18 their 11th school year. Just calm dowwwwwwnnnn. I hardly doubt you're going to jail.

    That is, unless Chris Hansen was at the party.

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  • First of all, don't go around telling people!

    Anyway, I knew a guy who was 33 and had sex with a 13 y. o. He got in some trouble for it but didn't go to jail or anything.

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    • you hear that QA? people are already comparing you to pedophile rapists. This is what people think of you

    • Unlike Roman Polanski, it was apparently consensual. But he did get deported.

  • Take care next time. And no you are safe is not really sex. And maybe she is not a virgin anymore.

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  • Regardless of friends and what you ingested you are responsible for you. You probably will not get into trouble.

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