Oh my god I slept with 16 teen year old help im in trouble?

[Anonymous]

im 21 I was at this party at my friends house. And i got really drunk and high just weed and something my friend gave me. He said it nothing that I'm gonna o. d on you know. I took it I felt normal for the first half hour. But I kept drinking.
I saw this girl I danced with her and talk while. And i made out with this girl and i felt her up. and we did oral. I think. i found out because I took. Her to my friend bed room. And when I woke up I found her wallet it has a school I. d it say she in the 11th grade.

I'm shitting my self right now. I bearly remember her face. Only cause her I. d and even still. My friend told me to relax that could be old. She could be like 20 or something. I asked him did he think she 16 teen did he see. Her. He said he wasn't paying attention to me at the party and laughed.

so I left his house and cried at a bus stop. What do I do. I'm not friend with Jake anymore. It seems like he didn't care.
am I going to prison. I'm in college. I'm about to graduate. I don't even do drugs like that. It was just this one time you know.

Updates

+1 y

I told my sister she 15 and she called me stupid and yelled but I don't wanna hear that now. I get paid this Wednesday. And I got about 1500 saved up. I'm thinking about leaving. I mean her school is pretty close to where I live. What if I see her and she trys to say I raped her like u guys said or what if her parent found out or something. i need to pack right

Updates

+1 y

I keep talking to my sister. And she yelling and all I'm thinking is how'd this girl get to this college. Party any way. Where are her parents. Shouldn't they be held accountable. I mean it was like 1 in the morning and stuff. I don't know when I passed out or when she left but still. My sister is saying I should get a lawyer. Or be ready for the consequence and I should pray. I am does any one here think it was. A accident. Please I need to know that people out there won't witch hunt me

[renogaza]

technically you did rape her, but i can't really judge you solely for this, both of you did something really stupid

i dont want to take sides but to take it safe i suggest you get yourself a good lawyer, you should explain the situation to both your parents and your lawyer and try to have a civil debate on how to proceed

in my opinion there are only 4 ways to safe yourself, 1 is to compensate her but theirs still a high chance of her demanding more, a good way is to go to court and settle the case by payment, if both parties agree the judge will allow it

2 is to go to court and defend your case against hers, this can be difficult and costly if it drags on for too long but it should work, you can also appeal to reject your obligations and rights to her child if she ends up having one with your genes

3 is to appeal to her parents and explain what really happened (because these cases very often becomes twisted by the aggressor - the girl, to favor herself), and then try to reach a mutual decision that will be acceptable to her parents

4. is to take the initiative and sue her for allegations to having raped you (of course everything you'll say in this case will be fabricated to favor you, it will be a very grevious bloody case and the outcome is very unpredictable and is severely ill advised), you can also try to appeal to the judge but most judges nowadays aren't that corrupt

note, i'm not taking your side at all, in my opinion you did something stupid and terrible, but you're just as much a victim as she is, and both of you need to reach a mutual consensus in order to solve this.

[Izzy2102]

first of all, did you look at the school id properly? It might be an old one, I still have mine in my wallet and I'm 21

Second of all did you check the laws, because 16 and 5 years difference might very well be legal.

Thrid of all. you're not in trouble unless she presses charges for statutory rape, which she might not do. If she does might be able to argue you with her at a college party, drinking and such you had reasonable base to believe she was over 21 or at least over 18.
You can get a lawyer if you want, but unless she presses charges there is really nothing they could do.

[KillerTaco]

In all honesty... What CAN you do? She's gone now. I'd just chalk this up to the many mistakes in life and learn from it. Never do it again. You'd be digging a huge hole for your self by just going and saying to her parents or her that you weren't aware of how old she was when you two had sex... Whose going to believe you. You shouldn't have even told your sister. I mean I know this is terrible however it was a huge mistake. The girl probably was high/drunk her self and more likely than not can't recall the night either. I don't know it's really hard to say what to do in this situation.

[Stylishly_Yours]

Depending on which state you live in, this could be a serious issue.

Here is the reality. You were at a party where a majority of the people were likely over the age of 18. You were attracted to a girl and started chatting her up. One thing led to another and you had consensual sex. You know there are teenage girls that look and dress like adult women that hang out at adult parties. You have to be careful. Especially when drugs are involved.

11th graders are normally 16 or 17. Where do you live? Most states age of sexual consent is between 16 and 17. I'd check the age of sexual consent in your state. You likely didn't break any laws.

I'd also try to get some of the facts of this night from people you may have known at the party. Did anyone see you two talking? When did you leave? You definitely need to figure out who this girl is. Did you exchange numbers?

If it happened how you explained it. It's likely this girl was knowingly attending a party with "older guys" and is completely comfortable with the sex that occurred.

[meowcow]

You're fine. The legal age of consent is 16. The exception is if both people are under 16 years, which does not apply here.

Whether she decides to claim rape or not, well, you don't have a crystal ball to know.
It is likely she will not, since she does not have any particular reason to do that. You mentioned that you guys were dancing, groping each other and doing oral before sex. Those are not signs of objection or rejection. And if you were doing that in plain sight of others at the party (minus the oral), it does not suggest she has any malicious motives.

Sleeping with a 16 year old in itself isn't a crime.

[Izzy2102]

speak for your own country, you don't know where he lives. It's certainly not true everywhere

[meowcow]

Your point is generally irrelevant. I assumed 16 which is in Canada. This age of consent is actually much higher than most countries.

In the US, age of consent is 12. Japan is 13. China is 14.

So pretty much unless the asker is from Iraq, this girl was fair game.

I assume Canada which is 16.

[LauraMarx]

You did rape her. She is a child.

Give her the 1500 as compensation, tbh. That's probably the best thing. Afterwards, well - you can never atone for this unimaginably evil thing you have done, but you can make sure you never do it again. Stop drinking or learn to fucking control yourself (or castrate yourself if you really think you can't). Accept blame for it (stop blaming your friend), and probably accept you're going to hell too.

[Worldsugliestman]

She's just as much to blame as he is. She never said no or stopped him.

[LauraMarx]

she is a CHILD. a MINOR

[meowcow]

She is of legal age of consent, and he is not a person of authority (teacher, caretaker... etc).

If she is 16, it makes no legal difference whether the guy is 16, 18, 21 or 31 - as long as she consents to it. There is no indication in the asker's question that she rejected him, so assuming that's the case, and people at the party saw them intimate with each other - it's hard to turn around and claim rape.

Women aren't always victims just because they're young. I knew girls in their first year of university at 17 years old. By the end of the first 6 months, one of them had already slept with 8 guys before her 18th birthday. Many girls seek sex just as much as guys do.

[LauraMarx]

uh... buddy I don't know what weird backwards state or fucked up planet you're from but statutory rape is a thing dude, and that's what he did to this MINOR, and he's a rapist.

As for you, QA: will you stop trying to blame other people? This has nothing to do with the girls parents. This has to do with YOU. Take some effing responsibility

[Lovinu20]

Here is my article about the confusion of age of consent in America

hb-blog.weebly.com/.../the-confusion-on-age-of-consent-laws-in-america

[LauraMarx]

It's not a confusion. I know some states have an age of consent thats 16. Probably not his state, tho, and either way, could you really look in the mirror and say you're not a rapist? Could you tell your mother? I don't care if he goes to prison or not. This is more serious than that

[Lovinu20]

It is ironic because the Irish are usually the ones to lose their virginity the earliest. Seeing that you are from Ireland and are against it, that is the epitome of irony.

Not that I agree that a 16 year old should be having sex, I am just saying that age difference should not matter. If the 16 year old should not be having sex with someone a mere several years apart, maybe we should be evaluating whether or not the 16 year old should be having sex period, regardless of the other person's age. I endorse close in age exemptions, but I also endorse waiting and abstaining until adulthood and standing up to peer pressure too.

[Stylishly_Yours]

Age of consent laws vary from state to state. In most states, not just the imaginary "backwards" ones that you think exist, the age of sexual consent is 16. In the eyes of the law... for most states, a 16 yr old, is not a "minor" when it comes to sexual acts.

You can call him a rapist all you want, but we all know (and you know) that there are lots of girls under the age of 16 that look and dress like grown women and try to get into places where older men hang out because being older is the coolest thing when you're in high school.

[LauraMarx]

I was raped at 6 years old, and again several times through my childhood and adolesence. Nobody ever gave a fuck about me. Nobodys helpin me. You're god damn right I'm against this bullshit. And goddamn I'm gonna give this piece of shit a hard time on this. I'm against it in Ireland, and against it in the USA. Fuck your weird rape apologia bullshit.

[LauraMarx]

dude it doesn't matter how A CHILD dresses! She's A CHILD. Now you're defending fucking girls under the age of 16? You never gave a shit about age of consent laws in the first place, did you? You just Love Rape and Fucking Children.

[Asker]

I'm not a rapist I didn't force her. I didn't hit her or drugged her. I didn't trick her or lure her. I'm being honest I really thought she was older at the time. I'm hoping she was 18 just caring her old school I. d I used to do that. I know I'm at fault but not 100% this was a college party she was drinking and smoking 2 she not supposed to being doing that she not supposed to be there. Isn't that somewhat consenting. She knew there would be alcohol. I just don't wanna have to go to jail or register as a sex offender. I didn't hurt anyone. It dumb stupid fun my mistake but I'm not 100% at fault. your the exact person in worried about who doesn't care about my story.

[LauraMarx]

I don't give a SHIT about your story, dude! You ARE 100% at fault. You put your disgusting ADULT body on a CHILD and you don't even know what you fucking did to her. You don't even remember if she consented or not, number one. Can you really say she didn't tell you to stop? Can you remember? Cuz I can goddamn swear SHE'S gonna remember.

[Asker]

Ur crazy I'm sorry that happened. To you but that totally different. Someone weirdo put hands on you and forced you. You were a kid a a baby. Even and that happened. I'm so sorry but. I'm starting. Believe she consented kinda or I should get a fair shake. The guy or woman that raped you be in jail or killed you were defenseless. I really. Feel in my soul that. What I did. Is wrong I vomit and cried when I started to place things together.

[LauraMarx]

alright dude. I'm gonna level with you, ok?

No one is gonna give you a hard time about this. A 16 year old girl is a legal grey area, I know that. Everyones gonna give you the benefit of the doubt. That girl isn't gonna press charges. Nobody cares. But I know something. I know that you know exactly what you did that night. I know that there is a little voice in the back of your head and you're gonna ignore it eventually, and maybe think its gone, but its gonna be there. And ten, twenty years from now, when it gets quiet and you're alone, you're still going to hear it. And it's gonna tell you every thing you did to that girl. And its gonna remind you that she was a child, no matter what the law says. And I know you're never, ever gonna be able to hold a woman again without knowing what you did.

And its not gonna let you forget, even when the law, and your friends and family, and every girl in the world, does. It won't. And neither will I. You understand?

[Asker]

I'm not sure. If I had sex i woke up on the floor. But I would never force myself on any one. Drunk or not. I see what ur saying though but I never ever done any thing like this before. I know you want me to pay. And I only care for ur opinion. Because what if others think like you.
DO u at least believe in sorry

[LauraMarx]

No. I don't. I don't give a shit about you.

You should give her the 1500

[Asker]

Ok thank you. I'm some what glad you believe me. But I'm honestly. Saying no thought she like 19 teen or just young in the face you know I can tell the difference. im looking at her I. d it was dated 2013 so she gotta. Be 17 by now so. It not good that I did this but its better than before. I would post her school. I. d so you can see for your self. Why I thought what I thought. But that's not fair to her. So I thank you. for being honest. With me and giving me a fair shake and being hard on me as well. I'm giving up alcohol and drugs all together

[Asker]

what if her parents ask where she get almost 2,000 dollars. From. And isn't that like prostitution that worse. That's like child trafficking. Or something. Even if giving her the money was the right thing. I would have to stalk her school or something I look like I'm 19 - to my age but that's still creepy. especially. Now that this happen I just wanna stay in lnside til I get paid

[LauraMarx]

[shrug] sometimes its difficult to do the right thing. But you still have to

[Gagaqueen]

You are overreacting. That girl obviously has no morals or decency since she was hanging around at ssuch a party. She knew he was older when she went dancing with him so she knows exactly what could happen but she ignored it. That says a lot about her AND her parents.

Now. Your comment is absolutely bs. This was not rape since she was fully conscious of what she was doing. She participated in the act and I am sure she knows what she was doing. This tells me she is a slutyy brat who has irresponsible parents and does what she wants.

@asker don't listen to this psycho, she has no idea what she is on about. That little slut knows what she has done.

Oh and @Opinion Owner stop shouting minor. She was clearly in the legal age of consent and you are just trying to overdramatize everything.

[LauraMarx]

you see what I mean QA? Everyone is gonna come out to excuse you. But we both know.

[Stylishly_Yours]

@Gagaqueen thank you! It's abhorrent that Laura was raped. No one is saying that or even condoning sleeping with underage people. This notion that teenagers aren't responsible for their actions is complete nonsense.

If a 16 yr old robs a store, we throw them in jail.
If a 16 yr old kills someone, they go to jail.

Let's assume this girl showed you a very good fake I. D. that proved she was 18 and you had sex with her. In Laura's eyes you're still a rapist because she's a "minor" and can't be held responsible. If this girl stabbed you to death in an alley, then by Laura's logic she should be allowed to murder because... she's a "minor". Clearly that position would be ridiculous.

It's okay that you feel bad, you don't want to sleep with young girls. This shouldn't be some haunting thing that follows you for your entire life because some 16 (or 17) yr old girl wanted to play grown-up. Hold onto your money in the event you need legal counsel...

[Levin]

If he's committed some wicked deed then surely offering money to atone, 1500, would cheapen the whole thing.

QA listen to your conscience. You did a stupid thing, but not a wicked thing, in my opinion. Your initial intention was not bad. If you had pre-meditated it, then I'd say it was in a different league.

Laura, I've heard you say things where it's clear you have problems with men, and think we're all beastly? As cold as it sounds to describe it in these overly rational terms, it does sound like you're projecting your past experiences onto this guy, and indeed to us as a sex. Things are a lot more hazy and nuanced in reality. This guy like most of us, is likely, both good and bad; whereas the guy that did that to you, is indeed, purely wicked.

[LauraMarx]

[numerous pedophiles self-congragulate]

[psychedelic_paprika]

"Lol well in some places the age of consent is 16, so it's fine"

The age of consent in Japan is thirteen. THIRTEEN. In a first-world country! Just because something is legal somewhere else, it doesn't make that shit morally acceptable.

[LauraMarx]

Its 13 in northern Ireland too! Its just kinda lesser known.

[psychedelic_paprika]

I didn't even know that, I hate my country now. :(

[LauraMarx]

yah <3333

[ManaX]

In my country 16 is the legal age to have sex, are all 16 year old over here getting raped too? (you have no idea what you're talking about).

[ManaX]

After reading your conversation I think I understand you a bit better. But I hate to be blunt, projecting your own negative experiences on this innocent (but stupid) dude is wrong. I know people closest to me who went through what you went through and they would not call this rape. You need help. I have a friend who was raped from 10 to 16 by her uncle, then raped by 3 other men on different occasions men till she was 21. She currently hates men and tbh she still needs help. But she understands consent. This is not a case of rape.

[LauraMarx]

leave me alone

[psychedelic_paprika]

Don't tell people who've gone through tough times "you need help". I know you think that's being helpful, but it just comes off incredibly condescending, and passive-aggressively undermines their credibility.

[LauraMarx]

<3333

[IU_092]

You are soooo cute, you probably posted this long time ago but. Nothing will happend, unless you forced her. If she did what she did willingly, you have nothing to worry about. She probably won't even remember you, unless you introduced yourself and gave her your phone number. Chillax😆😂
Ps: you are too cute💋 adorable.

[Lovinu20]

If you are in the United States, age of consent is 16. However, if her mental status was altered due to intoxication, you can be accused of rape. Not because of her age, but because she was not in the competent state of mind at that moment to consent.

[Asker]

Oh my god. Are sure

[Lovinu20]

Forgot to include age of consent is 16 in MOST but not all states. But at 16, if you can drive a dangerous heap of metal known as a car and hold a job that requires taxes, then surely you are old enough to have safe sex. But that does not mean it is necessarily right, especially in those circumstances.

[Red_Arrow]

Age of consent is set by individual states, not by the country as a whole. Each state is different. See https://www.ageofconsent.us/

[LastGirlScout]

But neither was he, was he raped by a sixteen year old or was it the other away round? That can't hold up in a court of law if he cannot even remember her.

[NovemberJoseph]

He was drunk too, so it's not rape if I'm correct...

[Lovinu20]

That is true, he was not in a competent state of mind either. If I rolled up in an ambulance, I can take him to the hospital whether he resists or not because he is deemed incompetent at that moment in time, especially if he poses an imminent danger to himself or others. At that point, he loses his ability to deny treatment.

[Lovinu20]

and I take out my handy restraints and secure both his wrists and ankles to the pram. If he decides to spit, I just put a surgical mask or a mesh spit guard over his head. If he still does not comply, I have one of the medics administer Versed. The point I am making is that at that current moment, he is considered incompetent. But that does not mean he will face criminal charges for talking the drug in the first place.

[Hibernia86]

It depends on how drunk she was. If she was conscious enough to suck your dick, you probably won't get charged with rape, though very conservative or very liberal jury members might vote for it anyway, but I think the majority of people would be on your side. There is something called the Romeo and Juliet laws, which allows someone to sleep with someone underaged so long as they aren't more than a few years younger, though your ages might be too far apart for that. Age of consent only applies to to those who also meet the Romeo and Juliet law requirements. A 30 year old would not be allowed to sleep with a 16 year old.

My advice: talk to your parents about this, but stay away from the girl (and maybe the friend who hosted the party). In all likelihood the girl doesn't know who you are and just considers the night to be a good time. It is unlikely that she will seek you out to charge you seeing as she was the one who sucked you off. Still, be careful about who you sleep from now on.

[Lovinu20]

While Close-in-Age exemptions exist, those only apply if one person is under the age of consent and the other is a reasonable and relatively close age difference apart. Once the person reaches the age of consent, he or she is able to consent to anyone else who has reached age of consent. That means in states where the AOC is 16, any 16 year old can lawfully have sex with a 60 year old.

Colorado, for example, age of consent is 17. But if the minor is at least 15, he or she can legally have sex with someone no more than 10 years older. That means a 15 year old can sleep with a 25 year old.

Someone with altered mentation can still have motor function, but may lack the ability to make rational decisions that someone would make if they were not under the influence of an intoxicating substance.

[Anonymous]

1. She propably won't tell
2. Often the age of voncent is 16 so its not illegal

3. Idiot, you agreed to drink and smoke weed and went crazy. Its not your friend's fault. It's yours, you agreed to do that shit.

[jshiloh25]

Completely agree!!! Idiot!!

[Opinion Owner]

And face the consequences ogf your actions. You seriously consider fleeing from fucking country?

[Asker]

Not the country just move to Seattle for a while with my friends. I'm gonna face book them I stayed with them before for like three months. I stay for a year to let thing cool down and transfer schools and get a new job. I hope she doesn't remember. My face oh my god. I just wanted to have fun at a party. And not stress. Over my break up and school. Fuck if I knew this was going to happen I would have never went.

IM NOT BAD PERSON I didn't mean for this to happen.

[dartmaul15]

you didn't mean for it to happen, but you lost controll. And YOU chose to loose controll. Sorry, but the weed and the booze ain't to blame. It's your fault.
I don't know if you're a bad person, or if you just lost controll this once. But what i care about is that you dun goofed up, and need to take responsibility for it.

Shit like this is why i don't touch the liquor or the weed

[Gagaqueen]

@dartmaul15 she knew exactly what she was doing. You can't just blame him. Her behaviour shows what kind of person she is.

[dartmaul15]

@agaqueen I'm not blaming him for what he did, but for loosing controll of himself. He was the one chosing to dring and do weed, and he should thus stand reponsible for the concequenses of that (loosing controll of himself). It's not illegal to get drunk and high, but it is a well known fact you loose control land dramatically increases the cance of doing something REALLY stupid (like this). And he did anyway. Therefore he is responsible for getting drunk and high.
Yes, she knew what he was doing, that i agree on. But he did not, and had he known, he would've avoided this whole mess. So they're both guilty for what happened. She for being in a place she shouldn't be, and hooking up like a whore, and he for getting in a state where he was unable to realize she was that young.

[Gagaqueen]

@dartmaul15 well since she knew he was drunk and high I think she is more to blame than him. Doesn't matter if he agreed to smoking or drinking, it seems to me that the girl took advantage of the situation.

[dartmaul15]

@Gagaqueen that is true. Still, you can't put all the blame on her. We're all responsible for out own actions. believeing anything else is just immature.

[Opinion Owner]

They are both responsible. Both equally. Not just the girl nor just the asker. 50/50

[imbittered_punk]

You'll probably be ok, so long as she doesn't do the woman scorned thing and cry rape. Just chill out, take a deep breath and try not to worry about it.

[LauraMarx]

"cry rape" she's a child

[Stylishly_Yours]

The age of sexual consent in many states is 16. Therefore she's not a "child" in the eyes of the law.

[LauraMarx]

in my country the age of consent is 13. 13 years old. Do you think 13 year old girls are adults?

[Stylishly_Yours]

I don't think most people in their early 20's are capable of making competent adult decisions. I say people to clarify I mean boys and girls since this is relevant to both sexes. However, if your country's age of consent is 13, then in the eyes of the law the people in your country agreed upon a 13 yr old is able to consent to sex.

[imbittered_punk]

16 isn't a child. 13 isn't an adult but it's certainly not a child.
So long as the chick stays cool and doesn't get all pissed off at him, he'll be fine

[Ferretman21]

I knew someone who turned 18 their 11th school year. Just calm dowwwwwwnnnn. I hardly doubt you're going to jail.

That is, unless Chris Hansen was at the party.

[Winterblade200]

Ok that's not right honestly you shouldn't habe gotten drunk in the first place so change your priorities find the girl and say your sorry and leave her alone after that

[Ersacol28]

Damn... be careful, remember kids are using fake ID's could land you in trouble does she know your name? Or knows you?

[Your_boss]

Well..., I'm 14
And if I was 16
And pet with a 21 year old
I probably won't tell
And Ill try not to get him into trouble

[Your_boss]

Sex*

[YourFutureEx]

Just try to forget it because you can't be arrested as she is 16.

[Klaatu51]

dude don't worry you're not gonna be arrested for this... she's 16 not 6.

[zagor]

First of all, don't go around telling people!

Anyway, I knew a guy who was 33 and had sex with a 13 y. o. He got in some trouble for it but didn't go to jail or anything.

[LauraMarx]

you hear that QA? people are already comparing you to pedophile rapists. This is what people think of you

[zagor]

Unlike Roman Polanski, it was apparently consensual. But he did get deported.

[Anonymous]

This is so silly! if you guys are in touch then she would probably get with you or charge you! otherwise not to worry! its fine! you forgot her face and i am sure she did too! LOL move on

[Anonymous]

Regardless of friends and what you ingested you are responsible for you. You probably will not get into trouble.

[whissperrrr]

Take care next time. And no you are safe is not really sex. And maybe she is not a virgin anymore.

[shadowlegend]

Face the conseqences of your stupid behaviour.

[jenn33]

Vaginal inter course?

[Asker]

No I didn't have sex with her. I just did thing with her ya know. I really. Don't remember having sex but its a possibility. Maybe I hope we didn't and I psyching my self out. I remember kissing her on the bed and I went down on her. And she did the same. In the morning I woke up with my pant down and my ass showing. I'm sorry for the story in just really scared

[jenn33]

Ok you need to relax. Nothing happened. Do not leave. Go to school. Can you talk to your parebts? I can assure you the girl won't say anything. If you act like you're OK so will she.

[jenn33]

Please relax.