How do I meet guys that aren't one night-standers?

I'm a bit shy but I want to be an a relationship. I've tried finding guys to date but they ALWAYS turn out to be one night stands. Even if I date them for a month or two. The longest was 4 and the minute we spend the night together he's gone or completely uninterested. I'm tired of this happening. I'm shy so approaching just anyone and asking them out is almost out of the question. Not because I'm lazy but biological response to the anxiety.

How can you tell a guy's intentions? Is it body language, discussion topics?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The biggest sign is trusting your gut. Look for signs of ingenuity. Look for the small things and gestures he does, it tells you MORE about a person than the $500 dollar purse he buys you. You wanna look for things that reveal his TRUE character, not the one that he's showing you to sway you into bed.

    Here's some good advice I read from the web

    "My personal test is to see what happens when you put a person into stressful situations: in crisis, a challenge, in conflict, with a big problem to solve, with an injustice in front of them, a temptation in front of them or an experience that would require self control, judgement and wisdom to handle well.

    Sometimes the tiniest amount of stress can reveal someone's true character"

    "The ways they evaluate other people can tell you a lot about someone. Do they start with how they take care of themselves? Or what they read, watch, and listen to? Or how about how they treat others? Vocabulary can tell you a lot about where a person's from, what they do, and what they're thinking. One of the more reliable ones for me is what stresses them out, and how they react to it. Or do they rely on superficial characteristics like race and stereotypes (stupid liberals or ignorant conservatives)? And how accurate are their evaluations? Do they make an immediate assumption and stick with it, no matter what new evidence is presented, or do they take their time and reserve judgement until they have more facts?"

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    • excelent. It is one of the possible ways to test a person, and it's effective too.

      Though, on behalf of OP i'd like to equest more about how to get the right guy in the first place. Because we both know that even if she uses that to test guys, some areas will yield better results than others. What she asks for is both a way to thest the guy, and where to look to increase her chances of finding a good guy.
      There it'd be a good idea to elaborate.

What Guys Said 3

  • 1. get away from bars, pubs, discos, and shit like that. Those guys only want a quick fuck.
    2. look at your priorities again, and ask yourself "is mister right a guy likely to commit". At your age, chances are the answer might be "no".
    3. Now that you've quite likely realized "mister right" was in fact "mister wrong" it's time to change the hunting grounds. Figure your hobbies. If it's reading, visit the library, and talk with people. Basically, seek out guys in places that are "you".
    4. Go for the average looking guy. Why? Because he KNOWS he's nothing special in therms of looks, and he KNOWS his means to keep you is personality and behavior. So he's more likely to treat you properly.
    More likely, but he COULD be a player.
    5. giddy the fuck up, and realize your shyness is also present in guys. So why should you expect THEM to ask you, when you don't have the guts to ask them?

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  • The nature of the guy is what you need to find out about. And it is tough to find that out, especially with reticent guys.

    One of a flirty nature is not cut out for a serious r/s. Even after marriage, he'll cheat because that is just, being himself.

    Then one of a dedicated and loving nature will always stay that way. He sexual urges may tempt him to stray, however, he knows he loves his woman so much and by volition, not want to hurt her.

    As to how you can meet guys who don't engage in one night stands, try dating and knowing guys who are quiet, insecure and never had a gf before. They tend to be the more faithful, albeit clingy.

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  • I am single ready to mingle

    And same here
    I am also searching fr a good girl

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