He still has feelings for/isn't ready to stop talking to his ex and wouldn't give up his friendship with her for me. Given the choice, he says he would date neither. Looked through his phone, he isn't flirting with her despite her moves on him. He says he talks to her because she says that's what she needs to be stable.
I've twice already broken up with him over this. If I leave again there will be no 4th chance to date him. I keep coming back because I realize what a great guy he is aside from that and he has that "the one" feeling and I feel like if I left for good I would truly regret it. But her presence in my life is hurting me a lot. I don't know what to do. Should I give it some time to see if the situation clears up or leave because it feels like he still really has romantic feelings for her even though he says he doesn't (but kind of acts like he does... not flirting but the level of intimacy of things they share)?
I don't know if he will ever truly let go of her but I'm totally head over heels for him and I'm willing to try because of it. What would you do?
Also, would you ever continue to date someone you were heavily emotionally invested in if you found out they kind of care about an ex?
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Most Helpful Girl
Does he feel that whats he's doing is wrong? If not, then you need to make it clear why it is! I know you've probably talked about it a million times, but point out these things.
A wise person knows that emotional cheating is way way way worse than physically cheating. Your boyfriend being too emotionally close with ANY girl ESPECIALLY an ex is wrong. My situation with boyfriend isn't as bad because he barely talk to his ex. Only rarely on fb because they're in the same circle of friends, but mostly not because she gets on his nerves. But one time he told me he'll always have a soft spot in his heart for her. That shit cutt me like a knife. I'd rather he told me he cheated on me with someone insignificant.
She "needs" to still have him in her life? Well it's wrong for him to put her needs above yours. He "needs" to still have her in his life? Well make it clear that on a scale of 1 to 10, the satisfaction he getting from from doing that may be like a 7, but the PAIN you're feeling is like 102. And it is WRONG for him to be OKAY with that.
And lastly, that whole concept of being able to stay friends after a break up is a major major myth. Even if your not having sex, you never be "just" friends. It may be okay at first, but once one of you start a relationship with someone else, it's not HEALTHY for that relationshp. If your boyfriend ever wants a relationship with someone, he's going to have to cutt ties with her because it's going to stifle any relationship he has from ever growing.
And if he DOES know it's wrong and is fully aware of everything I've just said but refuses to change. I'm sorry but it's completely up to weather or not to end it. There's no grey area about weather what he's doing is wrong. It is. But weather someone should end their relationship over this, is however a grey area. There's no right or wrong answer. Only you can decide if your relationship is worth is behavior.
Hope I helped :)1