Bf/gf hanging out with disrespectful friends?

Do you ever think it is OK to tell your bf/gf that you don't want them hanging out with a particular friend of the opposite sex if you feel like that friend is crossing boundaries or just not respecting your relationship in general? Or to ask your partner to tone down on talking to them? I think it is as long as you have good reasons. I mean I obviously wouldn't want my bf talking to this girl all the time who hated me or was trying to get with him or hanging out with her either. I know a lot of people will say it is controlling but I think it's not about control necessarily it is about respect. I think your partner's feelings on the matter should take priority over the opposite sex friend. Because otherwise what does that say about how he views me as his girl as less important than his friend? Just to be clear I'm referring to a relationship that is serious where there is a future being talked about. Then again I wouldn't date a guy who put my feelings second best and continued doing things that he knew bothered me. Thoughts? Experiences?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Yes. If he is your bf, then he needs to be paying attention to you, not some other chick.

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    • That's how I see it too. If he is willing to continue to hangout with some other chic when it is clearly making me uncomfortable than it says a lot about how he views me. He isn't dating other chicks he is dating me. He can't have his cake and eat it too.

    • yes... there would be a lot less trouble in the world if girls (and boys) would respect themselves and move on when their bf/gf is being an ass like this. SO it is either you or her. If he wants her, great. You and I both know what he is getting.

What Girls Said 1

  • It's a very difficult situation. Reason being is you can't really tell your partner to stop hanging out with their friends. All you can really do is tell your partner what their friends do that bother you and why. Hopefully they will see their negative qualities on their own. I remember when I was engaged, his best friend since the age of two was always trying to get my ex to make really poor choices. Like going out clubbing, selling drugs, etc. And because my ex was so close with him, he thought his friend was trustworthy. I never told them to stop hanging out. I just let my ex see his friends negative qualities on his own. Eventually he saw a lot of bad qualities and distanced himself from him. That's all you can hope for.

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