Might have a crush on the guy my best friend likes.. What should I do?

My best friend used to have a thing with this one guy, (he's 23, we are 19). The three of us went to a bar and me and the guy were dancing for most of the night. I found out from my best friend that he thought I was attractive. Anyways they start fighting because apparently it's not the first time that someone she's been dating or have a thing with wanted to get with me.

Me and the guy started talking because he's also friends with my sister and he came over and we hung out and one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. We've kept talking and talk every day. I think I might like him but I don't know what to do?

And please do not say I am a bad friend. I already feel terrible about it.

He's also told my sister since I was 16, that he wanted to date me or sleep with me. I never knew this until this year when me and him were talking and found out my sister had said I was off limits, until this year when she said I was fair game.
Oh and they weren't dating but they were seeing eachother.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You couldn't avoid it. If your friend has a crush on him and she didn't move the guy wouldn't be able to guess it and he continued your life. The fact that he liked you was just a... how can I say? Bad coincident maybe (bad for her). It wasn't your fault, it wasn't the guy's fault, but it wasn't your friend's fault either.

    If she's really your friend she'll have to accept it. I don't mean things will be like they were before between you, you feel terrible but you couldn't avoid it. She has to understand it. It's really a complicated situation.

    • Correction: and he continued his* life.

    • They had a thing. Like they weren't dating but they were kind of seeing eachother when that happened.

    • Then the situation is a bit more complicated. But it doesn't change the fact that if he like you more than her it wasn't your fault. She couldn't avoid having a crush on him, could she? You also couldn't when that started to happen, could you? He couldn't too. Those things can't be avoided, they just happen. They're just too complicated in situations like this. Acceptance from the "offended" part must happen, it's the only way. But it's not an assurance that relations won't be shaken unfortunately.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Sorry, is your friend dating this guy, or just likes him?

    • They were kind of seeing eachother at the time.

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    • He doesn't have a brother. But he has told my sister he doesn't want to date my friend now. She never told me the exact details but I'm pretty sure things between them are ending.

    • Ok this is dangerous game to play. Unless your friend is directly ok with it, she will be hurt if this guy dumps her and starts dating you instead. Even if they break up and you and him stay cool or hide your relationship from her for a while she will still be hurt once she eventually finds out. I think the one way to make it work would be for her to start seeing someone else, then you and this guy start dating.

  • So you like this guy (let's call him Brian for simplicity sake) and the best friend (calling her Amanda also for simplicity sake) used to like Brian. Amanda and Brian fight because Brian likes you? Amanda is also upset that other guys have found you attractive?

    I'm just trying to get things clear before saying anything.

    • Okay so Brian and Amanda were seeing eachother not officially dating but they were seeing eachother. I come home for Christmas and we all go out to a bar and get drunk, I was grinding on him all night and he was all over me. That night Amanda and Brian fight because he admitted he wanted me. Two days later Brian comes over and we sleep together.

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    • Me and my best friend act the same but look totally different. I have long reddish brown hair while she has short black hair. I'm on the smaller side both height and weight and she's taller more athletic looking.

    • I was way off about the look. Some guys do go for mannerisms though.

      Sounds like you need to talk to Amanda first. If she's talking to you that is.

  • Well, I think she should respect the fact that he likes you more.


What Girls Said 2

  • near enough the same thing has happened to me with my friend and the guy I liked so on behalf of how I felt and the way your friend is probably feeling... tell her! It will be hard but the honesty does help because it shows you sill care and it will help you aswell you'll feel a great weight being lifted off of you once ou have told her everything. Good Luck!

  • I kind of had the same problem, but it wasn't as "intense." I just waited until my best friend got over the guy. But after all the time, I wasn't interested in him anymore.

    • This kinda sounds like you wanted what she wanted sort of thing. Just one guy's opinion.